


A Small Voice in the Dark First Draft

by jessmart



Category: OUAT(TV), Once Upon A Time(TV)-Swan Queen pairing, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Realizing I can put anything here and not knowing what to put...priceless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 55,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13282803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessmart/pseuds/jessmart
Summary: Modern day A/U, no magicWhen Regina Mills was cast in Emma Swan's newest movie, she felt a flutter in her heart that her brain could not recognize.  This story has a brief multi-ship but the end game is SWAN QUEEN.  Rated Mature for language, trauma and naked cuddles in later chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters or situations involving said characters of Once Upon a Time. No harm or profit obtained.
> 
> All mistakes or inaccuracies are mine and mine alone.
> 
> This is my first ever piece of fan fiction so any suggestions are welcomed. A second opinion could shine a light on a stale thought. 
> 
> Many humbled thanks to anyone who has read, kudosed and left a comment.

A Small Voice in the Dark

 

No profit obtained.

Part 1: Emma Swan Meet Regina Mills

Chapter 1: Present Day

Regina Mills was many things but a patient woman she was not. She sat in her chair, back straight and legs crossed in front of her, fresh fruit in a plastic bowl sitting in her lap. Her attention was focused on the travel trailer in front of her. It was by no means the trailers that you see on the set of a movie but an older model. It’s old and battered look with peeled paint and dents with the sign of “pretty, pretty princess” on the left side by the door fit the mood of the set. 

The set was a strung together cluster of relics. Old battered chairs and plastic tables were arranged in an organized matter around the empty factory. The director Emma Swan called the movie set and the accompanying relics “organized chaos.” The quote fit and somehow, she felt comfortable doing her job. Her mother would have told her with distain and containment in her voice that this work space was too good for her stature. She named her Regina after all, she should be treated like a queen.

The factory was once a booming space that used to supply many jobs and the remining pieces of equipment were pushed up against the walls. The sets themselves were beautifully crafted and the many scenes that were filmed there were realistic. It was a space were Regina could act and fall into her character with ease.

They were currently taking a lunch break. It was early though, and it usually was not because of an early start but because of one of the lead actresses. The sign of “pretty, pretty princess,” fit Lily well, for she was the classic mold of a difficult star.

The raised voices were of Lily, the significate other of the director. Regina could not make out most of the words, but a few were clear as day. And Regina’s name was on Lily’s lip. She shook her head and speared another piece of her fruit and chewed it slowly. She could guess based on their many squabbles over the past couple of months that Emma was trying to talk Lily down, to reassure her of whatever was bothering her was not true. 

“And all you do is fucking,” and Regina and the crew heard Emma cutting off Lily’s words by saying, “Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare, this had nothing to do with her, it never does. You use her as an excuse, where is it?” This was rare because Emma rarely raised her voice. Regina started to rise from her chair, but a hand squeezed her shoulder and gently pushed her down. She turned, and the smile and kind eyes of her co-star Belle reassured her that everything would be alright. 

Two of the crew members moved past Regina and were standing a few feet from the trailer, waiting. The sounds coming from the trailer suggested a struggle and the men were standing there, ready to intercede. The crashing of something breaking against the wall, followed by a thump and yell filled the air. The door opened shortly after and Emma stood there, blood slowly running down her head from a cut on the right temple. 

“Get in here and help me,” Emma requested in a strained voice. Emma turned and moved back into the trailer followed by the two men. “Get off me, get off me now, you fuckers,” Lily yelled as the two men stepped out of the trailer each holding an arm of Lily. They moved her away from Emma and further into the factory. Emma stepped down a few seconds later, her outer shirt covering her head and walked toward the break room. The white undershirt spotted with blood was the last thing that Regina saw as she left the trailer.

“She has had worse,’ Belle told Regina trying to reinsure her. Regina turned her head and upper body and regarded the woman. She put her bowl down on the table besides her and she stood up and started to walk away from Belle in search of the blonde. Belle watched her leave with a smile on her face and a shake of her head. Belle walked away and further into the set, in search of Lily.

The click of Regina’s heels moved toward the break room. She entered the room and found Emma sitting in her battered chair, shoulders hunched, head bent down on her palms and her elbows on her knees. Her right hand held her shirt to her cut. Regina knew that she had heard her, but she did not raise her head.

‘Emma are you...,” but she could not finish her thought. Emma raised her head and her pained filled eyes and drying blood on her right side of her face stopped her from finishing. Emma moved up from her slouched position and held her hands out to Regina, dropping her shirt into her lap.

“Come,” she said in a breathless voice. Regina disliked being told what to do but it was not a command but a request. Emma’s eyes meet Regina’s and Regina moved toward her never breaking eye contact. Despite everything that had happened she grabbed Emma’s outstretched hands, squeezed them and allowed Emma to guide her to her chair.

Chapter 2: 6 months earlier 

“No, no, no.”

“Regina, listen to reason.”

The brunette raised her voice an octave higher and turned to face her longtime friend an ex Daniel. “Reason, you want me to listen to reason, what reason would that be. You are my agent and as such your one and only job is to provide me with a job.” Her conasending voice spit out the words with such venom that it would have made her mother proud.

“Listen,” and Daniel raised a hand to silence whatever rebuttal that was coming forth from Regina’s mouth next. “Your reason to leave was justified and if the circumstances were my own, I would have done the same. However, you were gone for eight months and as you know time is of the essence when you work theatre.”

Regina lowered her head and her arm hugged herself in a protective posture. If she looked up at Daniel now he would see defeat in her eyes. Above all she must not show weakness. Her mother’s words echoed in her head as they always did in every situation that she presented with it. “Do not let them see you cry, don’t give them the power over you to control the situation.”

Daniel approached her with his hands in front of him, palms out. He knew what she was thinking, and he know that her mother had ingrained many a lesson into her after all of years in Cora’s presence. She was a stern woman, abusive Daniel would say, but despite it all she was Regina’s mother. No matter her accomplishes she was never good enough. Regina’s words, never his.

He put his hands below her bend head and slowly moved them into her hands. Regina slowly raised her head and meet his eyes. Her stoic face was in place and he know that he to approach the situation and her slowly. He lowered his voice to a non-threating one. “Look, if you do not have a job than I do not get paid. I want to help you, you know that, but you have to move on from this and you will.”

“You sound so certain,” and Regina could tell by Daniel’s face and smile that he was in fact certain and that he did have a solution.

“Theatre is not an option right now. I need to reestablish my connections and that will take time. You need a temporary solution to show others that you can do any type of work no matter how small.”

“Now, when you say small?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

“Have you ever heard of Emma Swan.”

“No,” and with a sigh the next words came out in a defeated voice, “What is the project?”

“Well, you once told me that you have always wanted to try movies.” Regina’s raised her eyebrow and gave Daniel her full attention.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

Regina now sat in an uncomfortable plastic red chair, script sitting in her lap as she stared ahead of her at the plastic table in front of her which held a variety of food. After a flight from New York to Boston and several reassurances from Daniel she currently waited for her turn to audition for a supporting role in a movie.

She was not allowed to read the script before showing up for her audition and the signing of a confidentially agreement amused her. The script was a lesbian themed movie about a stripper falling in love with the preacher daughter. It was well written, and the dialogue had an edgy and humorous undertone. The thing that stood out from the script was the intimacy scene between the two main characters. 

All the actresses that were currently in the room were auditioning for the role of the preacher’s daughter, older sister. The scenes showed an astringed relationship and she could see herself in the role. As she glanced around at the other actresses in the room she thought to herself that they probably were all thinking the same thing. The chairs that were to the left and right of her were currently full and a soft mutter of voices filled the room. Several more women were standing and leaning up against the wall by the table and with the doors to the right and left it gave Regina plenty to occupy her mind with.

Her lines were simply, and she learned them quickly. Her mother instilled her a good ethic and she was a fast learner. The women in the room were ushered into the door at the other side of the waiting room and the process seemed to move quickly. Soon only six women remained from the twenty who showed up.

Regina stood up from her seat and moved toward the door to her left the exited the waiting room. A washroom sat off to the right of the door and she entered it. She checked her appearance and washed her hands. After leaving the washroom and reentering the waiting room she glanced to a small table right off by the door by the first chair in the line of chairs. It was filled with many paperback books that had seen better days. She grabbed one and sat back down in her chair. 

Although engrossed in her book she felt a presence and with a quick glance to her left she saw a woman with blonde hair sit down in the chair next to her. This slightly irritated Regina because the women had many chairs to choose from away from her. Throughout the day none of the women had engaged Regina into any casual conservations. This did not phase her in the least because she had very few friends. Kathryn, her closet confident told her many times over drinks that she presented herself as “stand offish and cold.” She could rationalize this to herself and say that she had a competitive streak. The only people that she socialized with growing up were fellow actors and actresses and they were a threat to her advancement. “Friends are formed by trust dear and if they know your weaknesses than they will use them against you.”

The blond next to her was silence and she felt her eyes on her. She focused on her book and tried to ignore her stare however the blond spoke to her after a few minutes. “I really love that book, in fact it is one of my favorites.”

Regina turned to face her and regarded the blond properly. She had very little make-up on, high cheekbones and had a smile that could light up even the darkest day. What drew Regina’s attention the most were her eyes. The bright green eyes with specks of gold bore into hers and she could not look away. She would not back down, and the blonde lowered her head breaking the stare first. Regina followed the movement and saw a smile cross the blondes features as one of her hands moved up to her head as she moved her fallen hair behind her ear.

The blonde raised her head and extended her hand, “Hi, I am Emma.” Regina shook her hand and realized that this was the director of the film that she was auditioning for. Emma released her hand and turned and slouched back into her chair, extending her long Demin legs in front of her and crossing them at her ankles. 

“Why this one,” Regina said holding up the battered book.

Emma sat up in her chair and turned to face Regina. “The ‘The Age of Innocence’ really. A story about a forbidden love, a taboo in the society in which it set. She is tainted, not pure and yet despite his upbringing and repressed nature Archer finds himself drawn to her. Archer fights the desire in himself for she is a refreshing break from the norm, a light into his true impulses. He falls in love with her not because of her past but because he sees her vulnerability. He has the same weakness in himself and because of those around him he cannot show it. They will use it against him and strip him of everything that he is supposed to hold dear.”

Emma took a breath and continued, “He see the injustice and hypocrisy in his world and he presents himself in the matter in which he believes others should behave. He just wants to let go of it all and discover who he really is. Despite that desire to break free he knows the consequences of his actions. His limitations supply him the very means to think and feel the way he does.”

“And what about her?” Regina inquires.

Emma smiles, “The Countess Onalaska desires him because she sees in Archer what she once wanted for herself. She has experienced the freedom that he craves. She has felt the consequences. She sees his standing in society and his awareness of the world around him. She is drawn to him because of his innocence and it makes her feel as if she can be reborn again, as if she could be cleansed. But she knows that if she does truly love him, that she will destroy him. And she will destroy herself to that point in which she will never be able to truly forgive herself.”

“You sound like Archer?”

Emma waves a dismissive hand, “Maybe I am a mixture of both, but the point is this. Show me a society, any society where everyone in it can truly be themselves without any consequences. We as individuals trade away bits of ourselves the more we move toward and collective whole.”

Regina was impressed but she did not let it show. However, a small smile graced her lips for a second before she could school her features completely. Emma said no more as she grabbed the book from Regina’s hand and pulled a pen from behind her ear. She inscribed something on the front page and handed the book back to the brunette. Emma stood and started to walk away from Regina and toward the door to where the auditions were being held. 

Regina opened the book and saw sloppy handwriting on the front page. She read the message contained within the book “To Regina Mills, a beacon of light in the darkened world. Emma Swan.” She stared at the words, trying to process them and she realized that Emma was still walking away. She stood up from her chair and called out to Emma.

“Wait, how do you know my name?” Emma turned around and looked at Regina, “You carry yourself as a queen.” She gestured toward the book, “Keep it, I have others.” She turned back around and walked toward the door where the auditions were being held and walked through it. Regina looked at the closed door and stared.

“Fuck this,” she heard one of the other actresses say and she grabbed her friend that was standing next to her and walked out of the room. Two other women followed her and as she looked around the almost empty room. Only her and one other women remained. ‘And now there were two,’ she thought to herself as she sat back down in her chair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimers apply and all mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> I am posting the second chapter to see if anyone would be interested to read the rest of this story?????

Chapter 2

A man walked out of the audition room a few minutes later. He approached the table with the food and started to pack up the leftovers, putting them into containers. He did not acknowledge the other two women in the room. After finishing his task, he turned and looked at Regina and looked to his right at the woman leaning on the wall. He opened his mouth and sputtered out, “Maleficent what are you doing here.”

“Lily told me about the auditions and she told me to show up. She figured that it would be fun to play her older sister. Do you think that I could pull it off August?” She crocked her head to the side and smiled at the man.

August looked at the older woman and remained quiet. Regina could see him considering his response. She did not know who Lily was but by his lack of response and his indicative face Lily must have been someone involved in the movie. She silently cursed to herself and knew that after this audition she was going to call Daniel. She disliked walking into a situation where she was not prepared.

She could think on her feet, but she knew that she needed to proceed with caution. She observed the situation and remained quiet. August smiled, “of course, what a great idea, you two looks alike and it would make your scenes more believable. Besides I am sure that being mother and daughter that you to have a little hostility between you two.”

Regina almost laughed out loud and she saw Maleficent eyes narrow and her posture become rigid. It was a low blow and she could hear August’s slight conasending tone in his response. “Well if there is no one else in their now than I will,” and she gestured toward the door. August raised his hands and returned her gesture with a slight bow, “Emma awaits.” Maleficent walked and entered the room and Regina heard a surprised response from Emma and she closed the door behind her.

Regina heard August clear his throat and turned and regarded him. “Since it is getting late we were wondering if you are hungry. There is a dinner right around the corner.” He approached her with a menu in his hand. She accepted it with a slight nod of her head and glanced at the chooses. “Chicken Caesar salad with the dressing on the side.” 

“And to drink?”

“Water is fine,” and she gestured toward the ice chest under the table.

“Right, I will be right back. Emma should be done in a few moments.” He turned and walked out of the door. Regina regarded his choose of clothing of a black shirt, pants and leather jacket and she figured that he was the owner of the motorcycle sitting outside the building. 

True to his word the door opened and Maleficent walked out the room. Emma was right behind her and she leaned against the door frame, hand on the door knob. “That was… Interesting, I will definitely let you know.” “Just let Lily know,” and Maleficent walked closer to Emma and put a hand on her shoulder and slowly moved it down her arm. “I eagerly await your response.”

She turned and started to walk toward the other end of the room, but she stopped and turned to face Regina, “Regina,” She said. “Mal,” she responded and Maleficent turned back around and exited the room. She turned her attention toward the blonde and Emma gestured behind her. “Shall we?” Regina stood up and entered the room first and Emma closed the door behind her.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regina glanced around the room and saw a small painted wall with trees and a building on it off to the far wall. A small table and two chairs on either side of the table were in the middle of the painted set, right in front of the restaurant. On the left side of the room was four plastic chairs behind a table. She decided to sit at the small table in front of the painted wall.

As Regina walked toward the chairs she addressed Emma behind her, “These look more comfortable than the plastic one.” She pulled out the chair on the right side of the table and sat down. Emma sat down in the other chair and sighed, “I know what you mean.” The women looked at each other and either one was unsure what to say. They were saved by August returning with the food.

“How was the audition with Maleficent?”

Emma chuckled and with a shake of her head said, “A lot more suggestive than the scene was written and a bit uncomfortable considering that she is my girlfriends mom but...”

“Me and Mrs. Jones,” August sang, and Emma laughed. “Mrs. Robinson is more like it.” 

“You are right considering that you are with her daughter, you just need the car and the two churches,” August responded smiling at Emma. Emma’s attention however was drawn toward the plastic bag in August’s hand.

August noticed this too and stepped toward the table and took the food out of the bag. He placed the Styrofoam containers in front of the women and two coffees in the middle of the table. Regina glanced up at August, “Just I case,” and he winked and walked away depositing the plastic bag in the trash, moving toward the door.

“Wait, you are not staying.”

“No Em, early day tomorrow besides...”

“Say hello to Ruby for me.”

“I will, try not to anything that I would do.”

“What makes you think that you will do anything,” Regina replied with mirth in her voice.

“You should cast this one, she has fire.”

“I will think about it.”

Emma and Regina watched August leave and they both opened their food containers and picked up their utensils. They ate in silence, but it was a comfortable one. After a few minutes Emma spoke, “You must excuse him, he is a big flirt.” 

“Oh, trust me Miss Swan, that was mild compared to what I have had to deal with.”

“I bet that you could tell many a story.”

“Too many to count.”

“Well, I have a few as well but we should get this started. I know that I am tired, and you must be too.”

“Well I have worked in theatre so long hours are normal in my profession.”

“I bet they are, I am relative new to the movie making process, but I have a feeling that I will be saying the same thing soon.”

“Can you tell Mr.” Regina questioned.

“Booth,” Emma supplied.

“Can you tell Mr. Booth that the coffee is appreciated. I believe that if I smelled it that I would have taken it from you.”

“I would have offered you some, manners and all. I needed the caffeine but usually I drink hot chocolate with just a pinch of cinnamon.” Emma emphasizes the word pinch with a gesture of her hand. “Ok, let get this started,” and she stood up and picked up her now empty food containers and offered to take Regina’s as well.

Regina handed it to her and Emma deposited them in the trash. Regina saw the speed in which Emma ate her food, but she held her comment. She was trying to get the job after all. “You ready,” and Emma sat back down in the chair and put her arms on the table hands intertwined. 

“I am surprised that you showed up.” And they both spoke the scripted lines and Regina proceeded with her audition.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

“Hun,” Emma stated as she moved up from her chair and started walking back and forth between the far wall and her chair with her head slightly bent. “Wow I,” and she paused as if she was caught up in her thoughts. Regina saw Emma muttering to herself and the expression on her face was a thoughtful one. She remained quiet as Emma continued to pace in the small space. “Patience girl and they will show you all the cards.”

“I… may I be completely honest?” Emma raised her head and looked directly at Regina waiting for her response. Regina nodded her head for the blonde to continue. Emma walked back to her chair and sat down. “Look, I do not know how others write or the proper methods of writing, but I know when I write that I…”

“I am explaining this all wrong,” and Emma breathed out a frustrated breath and hunched forward and put her lower arms on the table. She glanced up at Regina again and Regina’s face although impassive held a slight warmth in her eyes. It was the look in the eyes that gave Emma the courage to continue. “I get these scenes in my head and it leads to the most meniscal detail of the actions of those involved.” She gestured between the two of them, “What you just did, we just did it was, it was like I was sitting at home with the whole world turned off around me writing this scene. It was surreal.”

“Thank you dear.”

“If I did not have the leads cast I would offer you one right now.” Emma frowned slightly, “But you see I already have and besides I do not even know if you would be interested.”

“A Beacon of Light in the Darkened World.” This stopped Emma’s train of thought and she looked at Regina and smiled. It was not the bright smile that she had seen earlier but she knew by Emma’s eye and body language that it was a genuine one. 

“You figured it out Hun, I knew that you would.” 

“When did you know?”

“I saw you a couple of times when I walked out of the room and I knew that I knew you from somewhere. I just could not figure out where. Then when I sat down next to you and you spoke it finally dawned on me.”

“So, my voice solved your conundrum.”

“I had just turned 17 and my Gram took me to New York to see my first Broadway play. It was amazing, The lights, the noise from the cars and people around me. The constant herding of the people as they weaved in and out of each other seeing but not really looking. It was a smaller house, but I liked the decorum and the feel of the place, it felt very grand.”

“We had seats a few rows from the front on the end of the aisle. A low mutter filled the room as everyone took their seats. The play started and 15 minutes into it I was bored. I prefer movies,” Emma paused and focused on her present surrounding. She glanced at Regina and saw a raised eyebrow and a challenge in her eyes.

Emma raised her hands in front of her, “See I get lost in the details, sorry. Ok, totally bored and ah, I suddenly her a voice followed by applause. It was a rich, deep sultry voice and my head snapped up to the stage. I see you walk to the middle of the stage and you start to perform. I am transfixed, I couldn’t move. You had, have such a stage presence that you made everyone else in the scene seem like a stationary talking object.” Emma laughs and shakes her head, “I watch the rest of the play and although you were not in every scene you stole the show. I remember telling my Gram all the way back to the hotel how great you were and all she did was smile at me and she said nothing. “A Beacon of Light in the Darkened World.”

“Sultry,” Regina countered and leaned back straighter in her chair observing Emma’s slight blush and the diversion of her eyes.

Emma cleared her throat and looked Regina in the eyes, rising to her challenge. Regina recalled the earlier conservation between Emma and August. What was it that Mr. Booth told Emma? “You should cast this one, she has fire.” Regina came to the realization that Emma may have just as much fire as her. But then again, she did always love a challenge.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The door closed to her apartment and she breathed a sigh of relief as she walked into her living room. She turned on a light and moved off to the left of the apartment. She entered the hallway and walked past her two-guest room and bath room and entered a set of double wooden doors. Her bedroom was bathed in the light from the city through her windows. She threw her bag on the bed and walked toward her balcony opening her sliding glass door. She moved to the railing and leaned on it enjoying the view, the slight breeze and the low noise from the cars below.

She closed her eyes and felt herself relax and she played over the events of the previous day. After her audition Emma had taken her back to her hotel in an older yellow bug and left her to her own devices. The following day she received a call from Daniel to confirm what she already knew, she has been offered the job. After telling Daniel to accept the offer, he informed her that the movie would start shooting in four months and that any changes in the script would be sent to her.

Although their interactions had been pleasant and a bit flirty, she did not feel uncomfortable around the blonde. Emma had treated her with compassion and respect and Regina was not used to that. After a few of her previous casting calls the director had called her into in office and had suggested that some extra incentive was needed from her. She had turned them down and she never backed down. By the time that she left the office the director knew who truly controlled the situation that they found themselves in. Her mother lessons were not all bad and she prepared Regina for this lesson early on. 

“Do not rut with though who believe that they have the power. You truly have the power for they need you more than they you need them. Your beauty is your greatest weakness but also your greatest strength. They all will eventually bow down to your power over them. They will desire you because you did not give in. Others will always want what they cannot have. Desire is weakness, love is weakness.” 

Her mother was right and despite Emma’s joke about escorting her up to her room for safety and Regina’s reply about offering her a glass of the best apple cider she had ever tasted, Emma’s resolve stood true. Emma knew the lesson and she wondered who had taught her that. She hoped that she did not learn the lesson the hard way but by the look of pain followed by the hardness in her eyes Regina knew better. And that made Regina respect the women more. Because she had lived through it, she had survived. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regina stepped out of the busy sidewalk and into the sanctuary of the overhang of the shop behind her. She glanced around at the foot traffic and she saw how the people moved about. She smiled, and she thought about Emma and what she told her about the busy streets in New York. “The constant moving of people around each other seeing but not looking,” yes, something like that. 

She thought about her few conservations with Emma since then. In the past two weeks they had spoken often, and it had been strictly professional, well sort of. There was a softness to their conservations and an easiness that flowed between the two women. This was peculiar, but she moved with it. She can adapt, and she did, survival and all. But even as she thought this she smiled because she knew that it was something else.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by her phone ringing. She reached inside her bag and retrieved her phone. The caller id said, “a beacon of light,” and she answered the phone. “Yes, Miss Swan.” A snort of laughter was heard from the other end and Emma responded,” You really do not listen, um take requests, do you?”

“I have no ideas what you mean, it is not customary to refer to your boss in a respectful matter?”

“Respectful,” and Regina could hear the gears turning in Emma’s head as she tried to wrap herself around the idea. “Well that is a new one, but I will take it, Respectful.” The last word was said with more confidence in her voice. Regina smiled at that, she needed more positive reinforcement. 

“Was there a reason why you called?”

“Called, um, yeah, I received a check a few days and I was just curious why?”

“I am capable of getting my own clothes for the shoot.”

“I am aware of that, but every actor gets a small stipend to buy what they will need, it is customary.”

“Ah, I see so everyone got the same amount?”

“No, but with you being one of the,” and she was cut off by Regina. “Yes, one of the secondary players in your little movie that could.”

“You make it sound like that cartoon with the train.”

“The Little Engine that Could, mom that is one of my favorites.” The voice that came through was that of a boy.

She heard Emma covering her phone and she spoke to the boy, “Hush son, let me finish.” But the whine of the child’s voice could be heard even higher through the covered phone, “But mom you promised me.” She heard a shushing noise and heard Emma remove her hand. “My time is limited, I should get to the point.”

Emma’s next thought was cut off by the sounds of yelling and two cars crashing into each other. Regina was used to this, that was why she walked everywhere. But she heard the echo of the crash and the word “cool,” coming from her phone. She pulled the phone away from her ear and started to glance around at her surroundings. 

At first, Regina did not see Emma, but she soon spotted her. Across the street Emma stood, high brown boots, blue Demin jeans, a cream color shirt and brown leather jacket. Emma’s hand was on a shoulder of a brown haired little boy. He was young maybe five or six. Emma moved her hand from the boy shoulder and waved at Regina.

Regina was not surprised but she was curious as to how the blonde had found her. “How?” Regina asked. “I wanted you to meet my son.” Emma responded. “You never told me that you had son and how do I know that you are not stalking me?” Emma’s responded had a slight amused tone, “Stalking with a kid really and besides you don’t.”

Regina sighed, “Very well then, get over here and make it fast.”

Emma saluted, “Yes Miss Mills,” and she hung up.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

They found themselves in a small diner down the street and after ordering Regina deemed that enough time had passed to question the blonde. “Well.”

“Well, this is my kid, or as others call him, Henry Swan. Henry this is Regina Mills.”

Henry regarded the women with squinted eyes and after a shrug stood up from the booth and walked around to the other side and stuck his hand out, “Hi, I am Henry Swan, nice to meet you.” Regina accepted his hand and she noticed that Henry squeezes her hand but not too much and she responded in kind. Henry moved back over to his seat and turned to Emma. Emma smiled at the kid and she spoke a quiet ‘yes.’ Henry beamed at her and opened the backpack besides him and pulled out several comic books. 

“Miss Mills can I offer you something to read?”

“No thank you Mr. Swan, I am fine for the moment.” Henry scrunched his nose, shook his head and replied, “Now you make me sound like my grandfather.”

Emma laughed and put a hand on his head and ruffled his hair. “You will be on day son, you will be.” Henry turned, smiled at her and turned his attention to the books in front of him.

“I went to your place and they told me that you were out.”

“I hardly believe that, I pay for extra security for a reason.”

“It took some convincing but with the packages that I have sent you the front door man recognized the name and gave me some ideas as to where you might be.”

“Concierge.”

“Right that, and one of you guards recognized me, in which that was weird and, so I had to give a couple of signatures and take some pictures with them and,” Emma glanced up and saw Regina’s raised eyebrow.

“Security.”

Emma cleared her throat. “Ok, Security. I used to work as a bail bonds man so finding people is just something that I could do.”

“And you did.”

“Everyone has a routine. I just sort of guessed yours by our previous phone conservations where you might be. And I was right.”

“What are you doing her besides stalking me?”

“No, not stalking, finding big difference. You meant Henry,” and she gestured to her right toward her son and continued “and to just say hi. I must attend this fundraiser thing tonight and if I get this money we can finalize our locations and such. Henry’s father Neal lives in New York and well we split custody so this a win, win for me. Attend a boring fundraiser and get to see my boy. Boston is far away so… Oh, oh, oh, I wanted to let you know. The primary shoot has been moved from Boston to another place. It is called Stroybrooke and only a couple of hours away from Boston.

“Stroybrooke?”

“Yeah, have you heard of it?”

Regina shock her head, glanced down for a second and then meet Emma’s eyes, “Yes, I have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most precious thing we have in this world is time. I am truly humbled by anyone who takes their time to read this, thank you!


	3. The Gala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimers apply and all mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> I am posting my story up to before the beginning of the shoot that take place in Storybrooke.
> 
> As I have stated in chapter one, this is my first piece of fan fiction.

Chapter 3

Regina exited the limo and faced the building in front of her. She reached into her purse to tip the driver, but he declined and walked away from her. She entered the building and turned right. She knew where she was going as she had been here many times. Her mother owned the building and the ballroom occupied almost the whole bottom floor. 

She entered the ballroom with confidence and pose. Soon all of this would be hers and she had to let everyone else in the room know that. Her black dress show cased all of her “assets,” as her mother referred to them as and she felt many eyes on her as she walked over to the bar. The bar occupied the entire right side of the room and she sat down on a stool, back straight and legs crossed. 

A bartender came up and stood before her. “What can I get you started with Miss Mills?”

“I will have a bourbon straight.” The man made the drink quickly and placed it on front of her. “Thank you, Aesop,” and she gave the man the money in her hand.

Aesop accepted the money and said, “If there is anything else you need just let me know. I will not let you go thirsty.” He turned away from her to assist another customer.

“You must not tip the help dear, they get paid to do that.”

“I know mother but sometimes a little insectile goes a long way. Did you not teach me that?”

“I did however it was only to be applied in certain situations.”

“And is not tipping the man who will provide me with drinks for the rest of the rest of the night one of those situations?”

Cora let the matter drop and huffed in irrational, “Well, at least you came. You have missed the past three of these galas. It is nice of you to show others your dedication to support the arts.”

“You know why I missed the past three galas mother or must I remind you?”

“This is not the proper setting for discussing such matters. What matters is that you are here now and will act accordingly.”

She wanted to tell her mother that she was the one who brought it up. She wanted to tell her a good many things, but she refrained from doing so. “You are right mother, this can be discussed at another time, we are here to raise money after all. Now do tell me what is this gala for?”

“The art of the visualization of the world around us through film. The money raised tonight will fund those voices that have the vision but not the funds in which to speak,” her mother supplied.

Regina snorted and finished her drink and raised her glass to Aesop to refill it. “That is a nice tag line, did you come up with that one yourself.”

“No, I did,” and Sidney Glass walked up behind Regina and stood off to right. “What do you think, does it not have a certain ring to it?”

“It has a certain something to it, I give you that,” and Regina raised her glass, toasted Sidney and drank down the two fingers of bourbon. Cora turned and addressed Sidney. “Sidney why do you go talk to George over there, show him some of the art work showcased tonight.” Sidney bowed his head for a moment and walked away from the women.

“He seems too familiar with you.”

“Mother as you have told me many times before why would I rut with someone lower than my stature.” She sat her glass down and turned around in her stool facing her mother. She remained quiet and she knew that her mother wanted something from her, but she knew the game. And over the years she had mastered it.

“You should make the rounds, let people know that you are here. Oh look, Midas is just over there, he has always had a soft spot for you.” Cora suggested with her best smile. Regina knew that smile.

“Mother you already arranged one marriage for me, I certainly do not need your help to me get into another one.”

“If you had a child than we would not be having this conservation.” Regina raised her hand to silence her, “Is this the proper place to have this discussion?” Regina smiled at Cora and raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw her drink being refilled. “Of course, how thoughtless of me. How about we meet for lunch tomorrow afternoon, we can catch up.” Her tone was clear, and it was not a question or a request, it was a demand. And she knew that she had to accept.

“Of course, mother.” Cora smiled and walked away. Regina sighed softly and turned back around facing the bar. She smelled him before she felt an arm snake around her waist. She leaned her face toward his and he placed a soft kiss on her check. “Hello love.” His rich Irish accent always made her smile.

“Graham, it is good to see you.”

“I would have stepped in before, but I know by now not to interrupt a conservation between the two of you.”

Regina turned to face him, smiled and moved a hand to his face. “I knew that there was a reason why I kept you around.”

“The only reason?” Graham asked, and Regina answered him with a soft kiss on his lips, “Now buy your lady a drink, besides you have kept me waiting.”

“How careless of me, bartender another for the lady and I will have what she is having,” and Graham sat down in the stool next to Regina. He leaned into Regina and whispered softly, “I will make it up to you I promise.”

“We’ll see Graham, we will see.”

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Emma walked into the room with Lily on her arm and glanced around the room. High ceiling with chandeliers, a dance floor of to the left and tables occupied the large room. She had been to many dances before, but this was beyond anything that she had attended. 

“Well, I told you grand, right.”

“Yes, it certainly is, Lil.”

“Now to find my mother and ah, there she is,” and she pointed toward the righthand corner. “Why don’t you get us some drinks,” and she kissed Emma on the check.

“Sure, the usual?” and with a nod from her girlfriend she let go of her arm and turned toward the bar. She started to walk toward the bar, but something caught her eye or rather someone had. Regina sat in a stool close to the end of the bar with a man sitting next to her. The man was facing her and with his rugged good looks, trimmed beard and his tailored black suit, he complained Regina well. ‘Well that answers that one,’ Emma thought as she walked closer to the bar.

Regina was wearing a tight black dress that shimmered in the light and accented her olive skin well. Her short hair was perfectly styled around her face and as Regina stood up, Emma got the side view of the rest of the dress. The black dress had thin straps, low cut in the front and back and was midthigh. It showed off her ample, and Emma did not continue her thought. She cleared her throat and focused on her steps in front of her and arrived at her destination.

After retrieving her and Lily’s drink she turned around and approached Lily and her mother. “Ah, there you are. Where have you been?” Lily enquired. “Long lines for drinks.” She caught Maleficent look in her direction and her slight smile but ignored it by raising her glass to her lips and sipped from her drink. The bourbon was good, top shelf. Thank god it was an open bar.

“I am sorry that you did not get the part mother, but these things happen.”

Maleficent shrugged and regarded the blond, “I truly understand why she went with in different direction.” Emma narrowed her eyes at the blond, but she said nothing on the matter. “Can I get anyone anything else to drink,” she said as she emptied her glass and glanced around at the other women. Lily started to respond but she was cut off by a woman with an Aussie accent. Emma smiled, handed her empty glass to Lily and turned around.

Belle sprinted toward Emma and Emma bend her legs. They both squealed as Belle jumped into Emma’s open arms and Emma turned her around. She sat her down fast because she was slightly off balance in her high heal shoes. 

Belle moved her hands to Emma’s face and then to her back pulling her into a hug. As she pulled away she breathed into her ear, “Breathe, you look as green as your dress.” They pulled apart and their hands met and squeezed for a few seconds.

“You look great, that color really brings out your eyes.” Belle stated with a smile on her face.

“Well considering that you picked it out,” and Emma smiled at her with a slight blush.

“Yes, that was nice of you Belle, you are a good friend,” Lily stated.

Belle pulled her attention from Emma and focused on Lily. “Well, someone has to take care of my girl and you look good as well.”

“Thank you,” Lily answered and smiled at Belle.

“Not as great as Emma here but good.” Lily narrowed her eyes and Belle smiled brighter at her. The situation was broken by an older gentleman with a slight limp walking toward the women. He put his arm around Belle’s waist and pulled her closer to him. 

“Everything OK, dear?” 

“Of course, Rumple, I believe that you have meet everyone here,” and Belle gestured to the other women. Mr. Gold glanced around quickly and returned his attention toward Belle. “I have, it’s good to see you again Mal, it has been far too long.”

“It has but I see that the years have been kind to you.”

“And you as well.” He glanced toward Lily, “A pleasure as always dear girl,” he stated with a slight bend of his head. “Emma, you are indeed a very lucky woman to have Lily by your side.” Emma smiled at him and responded, “Indeed I am.”

He turned toward Belle and stated, “My dear, can I show you the pieces that I have picked out. Some are quite lovely. Not as lovely as you because your beauty outshines everything else.” Emma had to admit that the line was a corny one but that he had game. She began to understand why Belle was so taken with him. Belle regarded the other women, “It was nice to see all of you again, talk to you all soon.” She grabbed Rumple’s arm and walked away from the women.

Emma faced the other two women and grabbed the empty glasses. She turned and walked toward the bar unaware of the brown eyes that followed her every move.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Emma ordered the next round of drinks and leaned on the bar. She stared absently ahead of her and tried to remember her rehearsed speech in her head. She was sure that she had the last of the funding needed for her project, but she knew that she still had to follow certain protocols. She would follow them if that was necessary. It was not just her vision as stake, it was the town’s lively hood. She lowered her head and three drinks moved into her line of vision. She raised her head, thanked the bartender and started to rise from her position.

“Motherfucker you,” was exclaimed behind her and Emma heard all the muttered conservations around her stop. She turned and faced the only one who had ever greeted her with such an expression. She eyed her tall leggy friend. 

“Motherfucker you,” Emma responded. “Well as I live and breathe, Ruby Lucas, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Ruby walked toward Emma with a man on her arm, “Billy, Emma, Emma, Billy.”

Emma accepted the man’s outstretched arm, “Nice to meet you Billy, is it short for anything?” 

“William,” he responded.

“William is a good name, so is Billy. I have heard a lot about you, just not your name,” and Emma laughs.

“All good things I hope?”

“Absolutely,” she said, and she could meet his eyes. She finally had a name and face to put to the many stories that Ruby had told her. But if Ruby was happy than she was happy for her.

“What are you doing here Rubes, you told us that you could not make it?”

“Change of plans and all.”

Emma gestured with her hand, “Lilly and Mal are over there and Belle is by the art work. If you two tell me what you want to drink than I can get it.” Ruby shock her head, “My Billy here will get it,” and she turned and smiled at him as he stepped away from them in search for an opening further down the bar.

“You did not have to send his away.”

“I know,” Ruby responded, “I am not, Billy is shy, besides I want to keep him all to myself.” Emma laughed, and they intertwined their arms. “How does Belle look?”

“Stunning as ever, Mr. Gold looks good, money looks good on him,” Emma responded in an amused voice.

“That is not what I asked,” Ruby responded with a slight huff and Emma continued. “Same as always, killer heals, modest cleavage and a slightly short ruffled bottom. You should go say hi.”

“Maybe later,” but Ruby Followed Belle’s movements around the room. “Who is that?” Ruby exclaimed.

“Who?” Emma turned to face Ruby and then followed her eyes to where she was looking. There Regina stood, her eye candy on her arm, talking to Gold and Belle. Even from this distance she looked stunning. Trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible she responded, “That is Regina Mills.”

“Fuck Emma, she is gorgeous, you said that she was talented but you,” Ruby paused and turned and faced Emma, “Tell me that you did?”

“Ruby what are you talking about,” and slowly Emma understood Ruby’s question. “Ruby no, no, you know that I would never, never!”

Ruby shrugged and turned and look back at the Burnette. “She who protestant too much, besides I would of.” Ruby responded with a smirk. Emma shook her head and Ruby sighed. “It does not really matter though.”

“And why is that Rubes.”

“Because since we have been standing her she has glanced over in this direction three times. And the only one that she knows is you so...” Ruby moved closer to Emma and whispered in her ear, “You should of.”

Emma heard the words, but her focus was on Regina across the room. She had a response in her head like there were other people around her, but she knew that no matter what she said that Ruby would see through it. She did want to walk Regina up to her hotel room that night and she did want to try a glass of the best apple cider that she may have ever tasted. She let go of Ruby, slapped her on the arm and grabbed her drinks. She started to walk away from Ruby and she knew that although Ruby could not see her face that she knew that Emma was blushing. And that made her blush harder. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

Emma approached Rumple Gold with caution. She had made the rounds talking to many potential investors. She was sure that she had her funding, but she had one person left to talk to. She had meet some of the people behind the scenes that made the well-oiled machine of entertainment work. Midas was the man with the money, George was the man who wanted the money and power and Mr. Gold was the puppeteer that controlled it.

Mr. Gold was talking to some gentleman that she had not met, and she hoped that she did not have to. She had forgotten half the names already and her tongue was starting to go numb. But she figured that the alcohol did play a part in it. She stopped after her second drink because she needed a clear head. But Ruby’s words haunted her, and she knew that the more she drank the more likely that she would do or say something that she would regret. Regina Mills was a lady and she should be treated as such.

But Regina danced, socialized and she occupied the room. No matter where Emma went she was there. If she could not see her than she could feel her presence. The room was a large one and she had lost Lily on several occasions, but she thought to herself that maybe she did not really want to find her. She felt eyes following her several times as she worked the room and the urge to turn around and meet them became too much.

So, she drank. She drank until her head was fuzzy and her vision slightly burly. But this was worse because now she did look. Their eyes meet, and she knew that Lily had caught her several times. She would pay the price later but for right now she did not care. A part of her felt everything and nothing at the same time and it was maddening.

She gave Mr. Gold her hand and he accepted it. They had never spoken alone since he started dating Belle. They did not like each other but they would not let their personal feeling get in the way. Belle was always their buffer and as such they remained civil. They both loved her and that was one thing that they could agree on. 

“I wanted to thank you for inviting Lily and I here tonight. The Gala is a success I hope?”

“It is, we raised the money needed to visualize your view and others of the world through film.”

They both were at a standstill. Neither of them knew what to say because the pleasantries were said. Mr. Gold spoke first, “I should let you know that although you have your funding that there are conditions.”

“Of course, nothing is free in this world and in every transaction, there is always a price. Do please tell me sir what is yours?” 

“I will personally be overseeing this project of yours. I will be your director to a certain extent.”

“I expected conditions. I do not fear you.”

This amused Gold and he just smiled. Emma continued, “Everyone else in this room, except for Cora Mills over their fears you. They see you as the one with the power, but I see through you. I know what others cannot see.”

And what is that dearie?”

“You cannot exist without them. You need me as much as I need you.”

“Do I now? Please tell me why would I need you?”

“Money, you have it and I need it. You need to move the money to make more of it. Many here believe that you have the means to weave straw into gold. They call you Rumpelstiltskin behind your back.” Emma regarded him and continued, “I can see you in the red cap.”

“if you are so sure of this than why would I help you?” Gold was starting to lose his temper and Emma was rising to the challenge. However, Gold saw Emma divert her gaze for a moment and smile, “Because of her.” He heard the clicks of Belle’s heels approach and he turned to face her.

“Is everything ok here?” and Belle eyed the two of them suspiciously.

“Everything is fine dear, I was just informing Miss Swan here of her good fortune.”

“Well yes, I did not doubt it for a minute. You can always get anything done Rumple, it is almost like you have magic.” Rumple smiled at her and Emma saw the way that his eyes lit up he looked at her. 

“I really must be leaving; Belle I will see you soon?”

“Of course, Emma, you probably need to get out of those shoes anyway.”

They both laughed and embraced for a moment. Emma stepped away from her and regarded Rumple, “Mr. Gold.” “Miss Swan,” Gold responded, and Emma walked away from the pair. “See I can be civil,” Emma thought as she sought out her now drunk girlfriend.

“Let’s go home Rumple,” and Belle squeezed his arm.

Rumple looked at Belle and despite everything that he had done he did not understand why she stood by him. “What do you see me Belle?”

Belle smiled at him, put a hand to his check and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Everyone else sees the monster but I see the man behind the mask.” 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

Emma did not find her girlfriend which was the very meaning of ironic. She went to the bar, ordered several more drinks and asked the bartender if he could serve them to her on the balcony. He agreed and after Emma offered him a tip he politely declined. “It is already taken care of Miss Swan.”

She shook her head in response and walked out onto the balcony. She had a feeling as to who would have taken care of such a request if she requested it. She occupied one the chairs with a table next to it at the far end of the balcony. She could see inside the room but after glancing inside a couple of times she realized that she did not really want to. She needed the space, the quiet, damn she needed to get some place else to write. There was too much in her head and if she did not get it out it would consume her very being.

“You should not hide yourself dear, you decorate the room nicely.”

“Do I now, and here I thought the same of you.”

“Image if we both were both working together we could own the room and all that occupy it.”

Emma looked at Regina than and smiled. Regina smiled back and sat down in the chair on the other side of the table. She sighed, “It is good to be off my feet theses heels are a killer.” Emma laughed and looked at her feet, “I know what you mean, I cannot wait to take them off, however if I take them off now than I will never put them back on.”

They were both silent for a few moments staring out past the balcony, “I really like the view, that building over their really lights up at this time of night,” Emma commented.

“You should see the view higher up, you can see the whole city than.”

“It is probably not a very good idea,” and she looked at the brunette, “I am scared of heights.” Regina nodded and looked ahead again, she could not meet Emma’s eyes. “You did not tell me that you were coming here tonight?”

“I did not know, I was told to attend but I did not know what it was for,” Regina responded.

“When I cast you, I did not know that you were the Regina Mills.”

“Would if had made a difference?”

“No, I would have cast you anyway it just makes me respect you more.”

“And why is that dear?”

“You do not have to work, you are the heir to Mills Entertainment and Investment. But I understand, we are given things in life but we need to see what we can do, what we can earn. Our parents tell us that they want us to be better than themselves, and to a certain extent that is true. However, they also want to protect us, they want to steer us toward their better, their dream. We all have dreams but sometimes their dreams become our burdens, our crosses to bear.”

“I could not have said it better myself.”

“I have meet your mother and I understand you better a little more each day and I have a feeling that you understand me too.”

They both look at each other and they both had the same look in their eyes. Emma broke the tension, “Who is the eye candy?

Regina snorted, “Eye candy, really?”

“He suits you, he fits.” 

“He is my current distraction to my how did you put it, my cross to bear.”

“You could have just said boyfriend.”

“Now Miss Swan you know that I am too old to have a label such as boyfriend attached to any man that I am currently with.”

Emma laughs, “Yeah you are right it does not really suit you.”

Regina narrows her eyes but Emma did not see it because of the low light, “Are you calling me old?”

Emma bark of laughter made Regina doubt her reaction to Emma’s statement, “No, I would say aged but never old. Old is an attitude, a frame of mind. You are at a time in your life where you feel comfortable, and that in itself only comes with age. Age is not a bad thing, others who tell you that lack the wisdom and life experiences to know the difference.”

“You are wise beyond your years.” Regina said with mirth in her voice. Then she changed the topic of the conservation, “Lily suits you as well,” and Emma smiled at that and they were interrupted by Aesop walking toward them, drinks on a tray. “I hope that you ladies are not thirsty?”

“No Aesop, you have impeccable timing as always,” Regina answered.

Aesop sat down four drinks on the table and turned leaving the women. They both drank to still their conservation and their random thoughts that threatened to come spilling from their brain. Both were not easy to trust but somehow, they trusted each other and they did so without any hesitation. They should have showed some type of restraint but either of them did not care. They were both aware enough, comfortable enough to accept this, whatever this was.

They had just both finished their second drinks when a man approached both women. “Regina dear, it is getting late, should I give you more time?”

“No Graham you are right, Miss Swan until next time?” She rose from her chair and saw Emma do the same. The floor length green dress with a slight cut just below her breasts and the material over her left shoulder suit her well. 

Emma walked toward Regina and she saw how her hair shown in the light and how the dress brought out the green in her eyes. Emma moved past Regina and extended her hand to eye candy. “Emma Swan.” Graham Hunter,” He responded with a slight bow of his head. 

Emma stepped back, “Well it is better than eye candy, I give you that.”

Graham laughed, “Aye it does, but I will accept eye candy.”

“And a voice to match,” Emma turned and regarded Regina, “You should keep this one,” she said as she pointed to Graham.

She moved past Regina and turned around and stepped closer to her. She grabbed her hand, bowed and placed a light kiss on it, “Until next time Regina Mills.” She released her hand with a light squeeze and walked away.

Graham walked up to Regina and offered his arm. Regina accepted it and they started to walk to the doors that led out of the balcony to the main room. “She is good for you, even I could see that.” Regina hummed and tried to ignore his comment but it lingered in her mind like a random thought just outside her subconscious.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo 

Lily stomped into their hotel room shortly followed by Emma. Emma closed the door, bolted it and turned walking further into the room. Emma knew what was coming and she just had to figure out what. She did not come to any conclusions and a Sherlock Holmes quote popped into her head. “It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgement.” She was tired though, her feet hurt, and the bed looked mighty inviting. She loved high heels shoes and the way they accented her legs, but she did not know how women walked in them all day. 

She sat down in one of the two chairs in the room and lifted her left leg up and removed the heel. The other one followed shortly after and she sighed, sat the shoes down next to her and leaned back in the chair her legs stretched out in front on her crossed at her ankles.

She heard Lily moving stuff around in the bathroom and she smiled. Lily was frustrated, and she knew from their many years together that she needed some time to get it out of her system. Emma closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. She started to drift off to sleep and she than heard the bathroom door banging against the wall. Lily started to walk toward her. Damn, she wished that she spends more time calming down.

“Well,” Lily questioned, and Emma opened one eye, looked at her face and then opened the other. She straightened up in the chair and put her hands on her lap. She remained quiet because she did not know what Lily was specifically referring to and well, Sherlock Holmes and all.

“I see that this will be a one side conservation again?”

“If you let me know what we need to discuss, we will discuss it.” Emma responded, and her voice was calm. With her posture straight, hands moved to the arm rests and not crossed, she tried to appear open to whatever Lily needed to say.

“I can see why you cast her. You talked about everyone else on the shoot, but you did not talk about her,” Lily paused and looked at Emma.

“You know all the other actors. If I recall I have not really talked to you about anyone involving the shoot but the locations only. Regina Mills was cast, yes and I told you that I cast her but what else about her should I have told you?”

“She stunning,” Lily spat out and Emma smiled at her and responded, “Yes most actresses are stunning, they have to be. They must draw the audience in, make them want to step out of their routine and see them on the big screen. You are attractive as well and everyone else of your fellow actors. Why would she be different?”

So, I am not stunning than?” Emma stood up and slowly started to walked toward her. “You are playing words semantics, so what do you want me to say?”

“I,” and Emma cut her off by kissing her and pulling them together. It was a long leisurely one and Lily grabbed Emma and pulled her closer. Emma started to pull back, but Lily deepened the kiss and almost made Emma forget what she was trying to do. They needed to talk and if they did this it would not be discussed, and it would only fester. And she would hate to have to clean this wound later.

They finally pulled apart and Emma stepped back, close but not to close. “Usually when you want to fight you want something. You want me to say or do something, so what do you want me to say? What do you really want to say to me?”

“I see the way you look at her,” and she paused and waited for Emma to deny it. Emma face stayed fixed on Lily’s and she did not answer.

She finally did, and Lily did not like the answer, “Wondering eyes are common in any relationship, yes I may look but it is the follow through that matters. Yes, I find her attractive and yes that was probably one of the main reason why she was cast. But everyone makes discussions based on many factors and beauty is one of them.”

“I would not have to question you on this if this did not happen before.”

“And what has happened before or now, do pray tell what have I done?” Emma was slowly raising her voice. Damn the alcohol was a bad idea, first Gold and now Lily. “Nothing, absolutely nothing. I have spoken to her a couple of times and I did not know that she would have been there. How does any of this matter? We will be working with her in a few months anyway. Wait, I do not have to justify nothing to you, absolutely nothing.”

Emma hated the fact that Lily can push her this far. She hated the fact that Lily had this power over her to make her feel the things that she felt and to do the things that she has did. ‘Is her love for her a weakness,’ Yes, Lily used it against her every time. She pointed a finger in Lily’s face, “You are the one who cheated again. Walking in on you again, see that fucking redhead stuck between your thighs and all you did is look up at me and smile. You fucking.” 

Emma shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. She stepped back from Lily and turned around trying to walk away. She opened and closed her fists trying to calm down. She hated getting this way, she hated to say thing that can’t be unsaid. She hated the fact that Lily can push her to that point.

Lily turned her around and pushed her into the chair. She straddled her legs and pulled Emma’s head up. She tried to kiss her, but Emma moved her head away. Lily kissed her jaw and moved toward her left ear grabbing the lobe and pulling on it hard. Emma cried out and grabbed Lily around the waist and lifted her up. Lily wrapped her legs around her waist and Emma started to walk toward the bed. Emma stumbled and fell taking most of the impact on her knees. 

Emma pushed Lily onto the floor and opened her thighs. She pushed her thigh between her legs and she grabbed behind Lily’s neck, pulling her up to meet her lips. The kiss was bruising, and they fought for dominance, but Emma won out. She pulled away from Lily pushed her back down onto the floor and moved a hand on either side of her dress pushing it up. A hand replaced her thigh and Lily cried out. Lily raised her upper body again and they meet somewhere in the middle. They talked no more but whatever needed to be said will be said at another time. Now they communicated in others way. With tongues, fingers, and skin. Emma needed to get lost again, to forget about everything else and everybody else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most precious thing we have in this world is time. I am truly humbled by anyone who takes their time to read this, thank you!


	4. The shoot

Chapter 4

Regina walked into the dinner and heard the bell above the door ring. She smiled to herself because it brought back many a memory, good and bad. But for now, she focused on the good because she had not seen her in a long time. Eugenia Lucas sat at end of the long counter near the cash register. She did not look up at the bell ringing and Regina walked toward Eugenia ignoring the many eyes that followed her movement from inside the diner.

She faced Eugenia, but she did not look up. She reached behind the counter and placed a takeout coffee cup in front of Regina. Regina did not say a word as she picked up the cup and took a long slip of its contents. She hummed in appreciation and took a second drink of the latte that occupied the cup with the two extra shots of expresso.

Eugenia finally looked up and smiled at Regina. Regina smiled back, sat down her cup down and walked further down to the end of the counter. Eugenia met her at the end and they embraced. It was a long one and when they finally separated Eugenia moved her hands from her back to her face. “It has been to long girl.” She stepped back looked at Regina’s attire of a black midthigh dress and boots and returned her focus to her face, “You look good girl.”

Regina smiled at the women and Eugenia moved her hands from her face to her hands. “When Emma told me who she had cast I was pleased. I know that you could not stay away from here forever no matter the circumstances.”

Regina tried to hide her embarrassment but failed. If love was weakness than this was one of hers. Eugenia was her nanny, mentor and grandmother all into one. She was family, the family that she claimed anyway. “Well, your lattes are just as good as I remembered. How did you know when I would be here? 

“Belle said that you would be her at 11 and an Mills is never late. You are never late.”

“One of the many lessons from my mother.”

Eugenia squeezed her hands in reassurance, “You had some good in your life too girl. He always stood by you and he did try to stand up to your mother”

Regina smiled at this and said no more. She felt someone walk up behind her and Regina turned. Their stood Belle a with a smile on her face. “Well, I guess that I am the one that is late. Two minutes past and you are already here.”

“You cannot judge her based on Emma’s time girl, you know that,” Eugenia answered Belle.

“You are right granny,” and she directed her next comment to Regina. “Shall we get you settled, I can help you with your luggage.”

“Where is the bell boy?” Regina sassed.

“Busboy more like it and Ruby’s not here right now. Enough sass from you, get settled and have Belle help you girl. Otherwise I have a lot of dishes in the back that need washing.”

Regina stepped away from Eugenia with her hands held up in defeat. “Yes ma’am, I am going.” She followed Belle out the front door and walked with her to her Mercedes Benz.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

“You will have to share with me, but I promise that I am a good roommate.” Belle sat some of Regina’s luggage on the bed closest to the door. Regina sat her load of luggage next to it and sat down on the end of the bed. She reached down and removed her shoes sitting them off to the side of the bed right next to each other.

“Emma does that too, is that a military thing or something?”

“No, that is a ‘if you leave your shoes lying around the house one more time than I will send you to school shoeless.’ Emma responded to Belle as she walked into the room with the other two women. “I always preferred ‘Pick up your shoes you do not want to trip.” Regina responded. Emma smiled and said, “Mom where are my shoes, ‘Well if you put them where I told you to the last time than we would not be having this conservation now, would we?’” 

The two women regarded each other and smiled. “It is good to see you again Miss Mills, it has been far too long.”

“Have you been reading that stupid book again Miss Swan?”

“You wound me madam, would a lady say such a thing in response to a common greeting.”

“Who says that I am a lady?”

“Emma does everything times she mentions you,” she directs her next comment toward Emma. “I bet girl that you know how many days it has been since you have last seen her.”

Emma narrowed her eyed at Belle and answered, “Three months and seventeen days but who is counting?” Emma raised her eyebrows in challenge and Belle raised her hands and turned and walked toward the bathroom, laughing lightly.

“Seventeen days really?” Regina enquired. Emma shrugged and sat down at the end of the bed further down. “How was your trip?” Emma asked in a lower voice. “It went well, I drove from Boston to here, that was quite an experience.” Regina responded with a huff. 

“It’s been a while since you drove than?”

“Yes, many years and they say that it is like riding a bike, but the other drivers need their training wheels put back on.” Emma laughed at that and they were interrupted by none other than, “What’s up my bitches,” and Ruby entered the room and glanced around. She stopped at the door and looked at Regina. “I am sorry Miss Mills If I knew that you were in here than I would never have said that.”

“Am I delicate flower or something?”

Ruby turned and faced Emma and turned her attention back to Regina. “No, but quote ‘She is a lady and must be treated as such’ unquote.”

Regina turned to face Emma and Emma’s head was in her hands mumbling something to herself. Neither women could not make out the words but it amused Regina to Emma in such a state. She did indeed miss the blonde.

“I know what we must do, Em, you have to treat your lady to a night on the town.” The ‘your lady’ stuck out in Regina’s mind but she did not comment on it. The comment affected her in many ways, but she accepted it as she did everything else involving the blonde. Besides she figured that Emma was being teased enough by her two friends.

Emma head shot up at that she regarded Ruby, but her response was cut off by Regina, “Yes Miss Swan, you have to treat your lady to a night on the town, customs and all.” Okay, she tried but she could not resist.

Emma glanced back at both brunettes and called out to Belle, “Girls night girl, get your ass out here.” Belle walked out of the bathroom changed into Demin pants and pull over V-neck sweater, “I thought that you would ever ask. It must be nice to be a lady Miss Mills, the rest of us are just,”

“Please just stop, I get enough of this from Lil, I sure as hell do not need it from you.”

“Em girl, we are kidding. I do apologies if we have made you feel uncomfortable in any way Miss Mills.” Belle directed toward Regina.

“It is quite alright dear; a lady must have certain decorum about her if she is to survive in this brutal world.”

Belle, Ruby and Regina laughed, and Emma stomped out of the room muttering to herself with her head down.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The great thing about a small town is that almost everything shuts down after dark. There were a few exceptions though and ‘The Rabbit Hole’ was lively as ever. The blinds were drawn at Granny’s and music came from the juke box. Their girl’s night turned out to be a pre-cast meet and greet. Regina meet her on screen brother, mother, father, husband and children. It was nice to such an informal meeting with them all. 

Most of the cast had worked together on previous films with Emma before. This was Emma’s first full length film, but she had 4 short films and one documentary under her belt. Jefferson, her on screen brother promised to give her a copy of all of Emma’s work. Regina wanted to have some idea as to what Emma had previously done. 

Emma stayed by Lily’s side most of the night. They sat side by side, but they rarely spoke or touched. Lily controlled most of the conservation with the small groups of people. Emma continued to drink from her glass and would raise her head and respond to the group when asked a question but that was the extent of her interaction with the group and Lily. She looked miserable, but she hid it well. 

Soon Lily and the small group of people left through the back of the diner and Emma remained behind. Lily did not acknowledge Emma as she left, and Emma walked behind the bar and refilled her drink. She carried the bottle to the furthest booth of the diner and sat down. When Regina walked up to her she saw that Emma was staring out the window.

Regina sat down in the seat opposite her and Emma startled and turned toward her. She smiled and set her glass on the table staring at it. “Have you meet everyone?”

“I believe so, most of the cast anyway, I take it the crew is elsewhere?”

Emma hummed in response, “Most work nights and some of them in Boston. You will probably meet them in a few days. Are you ready for the shoot?”

“I know my lines if that what’s you mean. I have not really meet Lily yet but if the looks that she was giving me were any indication of our onscreen relationship than I believe that our scenes together should play well.”

Emma smiled at that, “You will probably meet her tomorrow, I should tell you something.” Emma paused, and Regina just waited for her to continue. She could see the indecision on her face and she gave Emma the time she needed.

“I came to Stroybrooke when I was 14, I did not know anybody. I had a foster family and they were nice and all and soon they wanted to adopted me. You know them apparently, I did not know this until just a few days ago, I want to assure you.” Emma kept her eyes down and gripped her glass with both hands. “They are the Nolan’s, but you know them better as Mary Margaret and David.”

Regina schooled her features, but she could hide the venom that was in her voice, “Snow White and her precious Prince Charming,”

“I had heard many stories about my adopted grandfather and I heard of his second wife. There were never any pictures and my mother always referred to her as she, as if you were ‘she who must not be named.’ Emma looked up and saw Regina’s straight posture and her hands folded in front of her.

She barreled through trying to focus, “Look if this is too much for me than just let me know. I will figure something else out. It is weird how we have both traveled the same paths, but we have never meant before now. Everyone in this damn town talk about everyone else’s business but they keep secrets like a motherfucker. I am sorry I should not have used such language in front of you.”

“Is it because I am a lady and should be treated as such?” The humor did not deflect the question though and Emma glanced up and saw Regina’s raised eyebrow and smirk on her face. Emma did not answer the question because they both knew the answer. They both knew what this was and there was no deflecting this, no fighting this. Regina sighed, “What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you want to tell me.”

“I was eighteen, my marriage was an arranged one, I did not really have a choice. You mother was twelve, thirteen at the time. He had just lost his wife and well, my mother knew him for many years and she needed some money for a project from him. I was the price.”

“Did you grow to love him?” This surprised Regina because Emma did not question the situation or pass judgment on it or her. Over the years her life story had brought her shame and pity from others. Emma accepted it for what it was, just another part of who Regina was. 

“I had just lost my first love and he had just lost his wife. It was not a good foundation for a start of a marriage.” Emma shook her head as if to accept her answer.

“Was it all bad?”

Regina thought about the question, really thought about it. Many years had passed since she had experienced that part of her life and when she looked back on it, it did not have as much poison attached to it that it once did. It was a part of her yes and it shaped who she but now? Just that fact that there was a pause in her thought linked to her experiences showed something.

“I only ask because when Mary talks about it she has so much hate in her voice. If there was hate, then there had to be love. Something to bring out such a strong emotion in her. Besides all step-mothers can’t be bad, despite what media outlets may project.”

Regina smiled because there was love. Mary needed a mother and Regina was that and more. She was her sister and closest confidence. She saw the way that the young girl looked up to her, how she attended every performance. It was not Leopold that held them together, but he tore them apart. Mary blamed Regina for her father’s death. It was not Regina that killed him but himself. A heart can only take so much abuse. 

She did not want to talk about it, it was too deep and if she did then the blonde would know more about her. She had to keep her out. Emma was too far engrained into Regina already. They were too close, Emma was shattering her from the inside out. She needed to step back, get away and now she had her chance. But she could not take it. Regina knew how long it had been since she had talked to Emma. Since that night at the gala they had not spoken, and it was the longest three months and seventeen days of her life. She saw her fear in Emma’s eyes that night at the gala and it was the same fear that she had in hers. But despite that fear there was this. It was the only thing that she could describe it as. THIS.

She was so lost in her thought that she did not see Emma move toward her. She did not see Emma as she put her hand on hers. She felt the pressure of something on her hand, but it took her a few seconds for her brain to register what it was. She startled and looked up into Emma’s eyes. She understood her, damn she understood. She need to change the topic she needed to steer the conservation away from her. 

Before she could Emma spoke again, “Family is a weird thing. Parents are god in the eyes of their children. They are their very existence, there meaning to their life. I believe that even a step-mother could be a god like.”

Regina cleared her throat, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You know a part of my story, what happened before you were fourteen?”

“Nothing to tell really. I was left on the side of the road by a diner right after I was born. August or Mr. booth as you refer to him found me. Stayed in the foster care system for a while.”

“Did you ever find your parents?”

“Yeah I found my mom.”

“Was she god like?” She meant it as a joke, but she regretted asking it as soon as she saw Emma’s eyes.

“Yes, she was,” and Emma paused, let go of Regina’s hands and took the bottle refilling both of their empty glasses. “But she fell from grace.” She raised her glass and toasted with Regina and swallowed the bourbon.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

The first couple of days of the shoot went by with ease. Regina’s presence was minor, and she spent most of scenes watching her fellow actors. She observed and studied the process that she was now a part of. Theatre was similar, and it gave her the training necessary to perform but the result was different. She did not have to perform over many days or months she just had to get it right once. She hit her marks and Emma was satisfied with the result. And to her that was all that really mattered.

Regina sat in a chair and watched the scene unfold in front of her. She did not look toward the other women who sat down next to her. “We have not been properly introduced.” Regina turned her attention from the scene to Ruby. No, they had not been properly introduced however this was the way with many of the other crew members. “I am Ruby Lucas, also known as Red.” Regina accepted the outstretched hand, “Regina Mills.”

“I know but I had to get the formalities out of the way. We were like two ships in the night, knowing that we are their but never truly meeting.” She said this with a wave of her hand in front of her. Regina laughed and looked at Ruby, “Really, I must admit that I have heard better lines than that before, tell me Miss Lucas are you flirting with me?”

“No, absolutely not. I know whose women you are.”

“And whose women would I be?”

“Ok listen, everyone here sees how you to two interact, including Lilly. Hell, half the crew think that you are together already.”

“And do you?” Ruby snorted and answered, “Emma is many things, but she is not a cheater. She is honorable despite what others may say. Nobody really understand her; Belle and I do, and I have a feeling that you do as well.” Regina looked up at Ruby and an understanding pasted between them.

Their attention was drawn to a noise in front of them. The next scene was being set up. It was the restaurant scene that she had done with Emma all those months ago. This set was more realistic than the painted wall that she had auditioned with and a small smile graced her face. She could do this, no she would do this. “You are up, I hope you have your claws out,” and Ruby grabbed and squeezed Regina’s arm and walked away. 

Regina glanced to the right of the set and she saw Lily and Emma off to the side of the scene hurdled together. Emma hands were holding Lily’s and Lily was shaking her head. Emma leaned closer and their heads touched. Emma captured Lily’s lips in a soft kiss, but Lily’s pulled back and turned and walked away from her. Belle approached Emma and touched her slumped shoulders. Emma turned to face her, and they smiled at each other. Belle walked past Emma probably in search of Lily.

Regina stood from her chair and started to walk toward the almost complete set. She saw Emma as she crossed in front of the scene being set up and was intercepted by Ruby. Ruby outstretched her hand and Emma accepted it. Regina watched as the blond was lead to the other side of the room. A small smile crossed her face because despite everything she had friends there to help her out. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

“You did well,” Emma said to the woman that approached her.

“Well, as I told you the other night, Lily and I would play well off each other.”

“That you did,” and Emma laughed.

“Is this seat taken?”

“It is now,” and Emma removed the various papers and books from the seat next to her. Regina sat down, put her food on the table in front of her and picked up her fork. She took a bite of the food.

“Good Hun, granny’s lasagna is good, but her pot pies are to die for. Did she teach you how to cook?”

“Some things yes but my mother thought that it distracted me from my other talents. She told me she hired others to do such things.”

“That is sad, granny can cook.”

“Yes, she can.”

“You want to ask so you might as well ask.” Emma said, and she put her book down on top of her cluttered papers and turned and faced Regina. 

“When I first meet Belle, I thought that she was going to be the Preachers daughter. I have to admit that she plays the part well.” 

“She has many sides to her and yes she will do well in this role. But I know that was not you real question that you wanted to ask me.”

Regina smiled, and she put down her fork, “You and Belle seem close. At first glance it would seem as if you were together.”

“It would seem that way but unfortunately we are not.”

“And why is that?”

“That is not my story to tell, I would ask her, I believe that she will tell you.”

“And why would she do that.”

“Just call it a hunch here,” and Emma searched around some of her cluttered papers and pulled out a small notebook. She grabbed a pen and wrote something on the paper, tore it off and handed it to Regina. “Give this to Belle tonight.”

“Telling me what to do again?”

“No, just requesting.”

“Hey director, we are ready for you now. Get your ass in here,” Leroy yelled, and he turned around and walked back into the building. 

“That is the reason why they call him Grumpy, see you later.” Emma stood up, grabbed her heap of papers and walked away. Regina nodded and folded the paper that she was given, put it in her pocket and continued to eat her lunch.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regina was impressed by the speed in which the various scenes were filmed. They were filmed in a strange order and she knew that Emma had a system, but she did not know what it was yet. She sat on her bed and looked at an updated scene that she was going to be in tomorrow.

She heard the door of the bathroom open and saw Belle emerge with a towel wrapped around her hair. Regina had held onto the paper that Emma had given her for several days, she just did not know how to approach Belle. Belle seemed laid back and friendly most of the time but looks can be deceiving. She was with Gold after all.

She figured that she will take the direct approach only this lesson came from her father. ‘Do not put it off daughter. I have put off too many things, let to many things slide and I fear that I am too late to help. You will, are stronger than I will ever be, do not forget that.’ Regina grabbed the paper, cleared her throat and saw as Belle look in her direction. “I am supposed to give you this,” and she extended her hand with the folded paper in it. Belle approached her and took the paper opened it and sat down on the end of her bed closest to Regina.

“What do you want to know?”

Regina hesitated but continued silencing her doubt and fear. “You and Emma.” Belle laughed and sat the paper down next to her and stood up from the bed and approached the semi-large fridge in the corner. She grabbed a bottle of wine from within, two glasses that sat on top of the fridge and sat back down on the bed. “If that is the case, we are going to need this.” She extended the filled glass toward Regina and asked, “What has she told you?”

“That you are not together, but you two seem close?”

“Before I start I should let you know that part of this story involves my interception of the facts. But with this,” and Belle held up the folded paper, “I will tell you. I should start at the beginning, short or long version?”

“Semi-Long,” Regina answered, and she look a drink from her glass.

“Kay, semi-long it is,” she says with a shake of her head and a small laugh. “I meet Emma when I was five. I was at luncheon or at least what is what my parents called it. It was just an excuse for the parents to gather to talk and drink. You have probably been to a few of those?”

“Yes, I have.”

“I am surprised that we have never meet before the gala. If we have than I do not remember.”

“My mother and I went to a few but she felt that my attention should be applied elsewhere.”

Belle shook her head in understanding, took a drink and continued, “Well the other children and their nannies were gathered in another room. I was playing with the children my own age, but I kept looking at this small child. It was Emma and she a little over two years of age. She was a runner and her nanny had trouble keeping her out of trouble. Emma fell many times but she when she got back up, she did it on her own. She pushed her nanny hands away from her every time. She finally saw me, and she walked right up to me. She smiled, and I sat down, and she sat in my lap and I pulled some of the toys around me and we played. “

Belle smiled and took another drink and grabbed the bottle and refilled both of their glasses. “Our families barely knew each other but I begged my mother to let us get together. She did a few times and she realized that we were close. Mother set up many meeting for us and soon we were inseparable. Emma’s family was fostering her, and they planned to adopt but soon the found out that they going to have a child of their own. They sent her back into the system, she had just turned three. We lost touch for a while but when I was about seven I found her again. She was in a foster group home and we wrote back and forth for two years.”

“What did she tell you about her family?” Belle inquired.

“She told me that her mother found her and that the Nolan’s adopted her at fourteen.”

“Emma, always is a guarded one. Anyway, when she was seven her mother took her, and I did not find her again until she was thirteen. “Belle looked up at Regina, “but that time in between is her story to tell. From thirteen on we have been as we are now.”

“I tell you all this because it is important to truly understand our background. When we were teenagers we thought that our friendship was something else. We tried to make it work, we really did but we realized that we loved each other but we were not in love with each other. We decided that despite everything that has happened that we were still close, and the past should not stop us from being together in some form.” Belle laughed and shook her head, “Emma started to called us hetro-life mates and it fits our situation.”

Regina tried to take in all that Belle had told her. “Why did you tell me all that?” Belle picked up the folded piece of paper and turned handing it back Regina. “You know that is the Chinese symbol for truth. That is our code for sharing information to others. Ruby, Emma and I set up that system many years back to communicate with each other. It was to let us know that we wanted to let our lovers,” and she cleared her throat, “the people closest to each other that it was okay to let them into our tangled past. It would be easier if we were together, but I see now that anything involving love is not easy and that everything works out for a reason.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“No, thank you for listening, Emma had not ever given that symbol to me ever before. It means a lot to me that she wanted me to tell you. She really must trust you. I have not even told that story to Lily.” Regina stared into her empty glass and she said nothing. She saw the bottle move into her vision and her empty glass was refilled. She looked up at Belle, “See I knew that you needed a drink.” Belle raised her glass and toasted with Regina. Regina changed the topic before it flowed toward Emma and her relationship?

“Now what about Lily?” Belle laughed drank the contents of her glass, and moved from to the bed and toward the fridge. She grabbed a couple bottles of water and threw them towards Regina and grabbed another bottle of wine. “To tell that story, I will need several more drinks.”

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Part II: A Small Voice in the Dark

Present Day Part 2

Regina Mills was many things but a patient woman she was not. She sat in her chair, back straight and legs crossed in front of her, fresh fruit in a plastic bowl sitting in her lap. Her attention was focused on the travel trailer in front of her. It was by no means the trailers that you see on the set of a movie but an older model. It’s old and battered look with peeled paint and dents with the sign of “pretty, pretty princess” on the left side by the door fit the mood of the set. 

The set was a strung together cluster of relics. Old battered chairs and plastic tables were arranged in an organized matter around the empty factory. The director Emma Swan called the movie set and the accompanying relics “organized chaos.” The quote fit and somehow, she felt comfortable doing her job. Her mother would have told her with distain and containment in her voice that this work space was too good for her stature. She named her Regina after all, she should be treated like a queen.

The factory was once a booming space that used to supply many jobs and the remining pieces of equipment were pushed up against the walls. The sets themselves were beautifully crafted and the many scenes that were filmed there were realistic. It was a space were Regina could act and fall into her character with ease.

They were currently taking a lunch break. It was early though, and it usually was not because of an early start but because of one of the lead actresses. The sign of “pretty, pretty princess,” fit Lily well, for she was the classic mold of a difficult star.

The raised voices were of Lily, the significate other of the director. Regina could not make out most of the words, but a few were clear as day. And Regina’s name was on Lily’s lip. She shook her head and speared another piece of her fruit and chewed it slowly. Based on their many squabbled over the past couple of months Emma was trying to talk Lily down. She was trying to reassure Lily that whatever was bothering her was not true.

“And all you do is fucking,” and Regina and the crew heard Emma cutting off Lily’s words by saying, “Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare, this had nothing to do with her, it never does. You use her as an excuse, where is it?” This was rare because Emma rarely raised her voice. Regina started to rise from her chair, but a hand squeezed her shoulder and gently pushed her down. She turned, and the smile and kind eyes of her co-star Belle reassured her that everything would be alright. 

Two of the crew members moved past Regina and were standing a few feet from the trailer, waiting. The sounds coming from the trailer suggested a struggle and the men were standing there, ready to intercede. The crashing of something breaking against the wall, followed by a thump and yell filled the air. The door opened shortly after and Emma stood there, blood slowly running down her head from a cut on the right temple. 

“Get in here and help me,” Emma requested in a strained voice. Emma turned and moved back into the trailer followed by the two men. “Get off me, get off me now, you fuckers,” Lily yelled as the two men stepped out of the trailer each holding an arm of Lily. They moved her away from Emma and further into the factory. Emma stepped down a few seconds later, her outer shirt covering her head and walked toward the break room. The white undershirt spotted with blood was the last thing that Regina saw as she left the trailer.

“She has had worse,’ Belle told Regina trying to reinsure her. Regina turned her head and upper body and regarded the woman. She put her bowl down on the table besides her and she stood up and started to walk away from Belle in search of the blonde. Belle watched her leave with a smile on her face and a shake of her head. Belle walked away and further into the set, in search of Lily.

The click of Regina’s heels moved toward the break room. She entered the room and found Emma sitting in her battered chair, shoulders hunched, head bent down on her palms and her elbows on her knees. Her right hand held her shirt to her cut. Regina knew that she had heard her, but she did not raise her head.

‘Emma are you...,” but she could not finish her thought. Emma raised her head and her pained filled eyes and dried blood on her right side of her face stopped her from finishing. Emma moved up from her slouched position and held her hands out to Regina, dropping her shirt into her lap.

“Come,” she said in a breathless voice. Regina disliked being told what to do but it was not a command but a request. Emma’s eyes meet Regina’s and Regina moved toward her never breaking eye contact. Despite everything that had happened she grabbed Emma’s outstretched hands, squeezed them and allowed Emma to guide her to her chair.

Regina sat down into the older battered chair but despite its appearance it was rather comfortable. Everyone on the set including her knew that this chair was off limits to everyone, but Regina felt honored that Emma would offer it to her. But with everything involving the blond, she sighed because she knew the rest of the sentence. 

Regina heard a scrapping sound as Emma grabbed a metal chair next to the wall and pulled it in front of Regina. She sat down into the chair, picked up her shirt on the floor and applied it back to her head. Regina reached out and gently pulled the shirt from the cut on Emma’s temple. The cut was bleeding less than before but it was good size injury of about five to six inches. She would need stitches.

“You should have that looked at.”

“It does not really hurt and besides I need to finish the scene.”

“You need to worry about your head more that the god-damn scene Emma, it could wait for another day.”

“Telling me what to do again Miss Mills.” Regina loved the way that Emma used the formality when she talked to her, but she knew what Emma was trying to do.

“Absolutely, you will listen to me on this particular matter. A head injury can be serious, you need it looked at.”

“That is the second time that you said that, and I will get it looked at. The scene is almost complete, and it will only take a few minutes to film the rest of it. Besides the pain has not really kicked in yet and with Belle taking care of Lily and Ruby calming down the crew I need to be here to make sure that everything is okay.”

“I can take you to the hospital, no I will take you to the hospital,” and Regina started to stand but Emma grabbed her hands squeezing gently. Regina looked at Emma and she saw the smile that melted Regina’s resolve. She sighed and sat back down but Emma did not release her hands. She pulled Regina closer with their knees touching and said, “I want you to close your eyes.”

Regina regarded Emma with a slight bend of her head and closed her eyes. She straightened her posture, bringing Emma closer to her. “I told you to close your eyes because you answer questions based on what you want people to hear. I need you to focus only on the sound of my voice and the quiet around you.”

“You sound like a shrink Miss Swan, am I going to get a bill in the mail?”

“Too many years of counseling, something good had to stick. Now be serious, relax and answer one question.” She was quiet and with her eyes closed all that she felt was Emma’s presence near her and their intertwined hands. “I want you to tell me that if you could do something, anything that would make you truly happy, what would it be?”

Regina was quiet trying to formulate her answer when her thought was interrupted by Emma, “And do not tell me acting, I know that is not it.” Regina smirked, and Emma continued. “You are really good at what you do but it is your job. You have put in the time and effort necessary to excel at it. It sustains you but it not what you really crave.”

“Did Lily hurt you?” Regina asked as she opened her eyes and regarded Emma.

“You ae deflecting the question and that is fine, but I will answer you. Lily threw a crystal swan that I got her for our last anniversary. It hit the wall and then hit me in the head. But at the time I was trying to grab something from her. And before you ask it was this.” Emma reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a small oval glass container with a small amount of cocaine in it.

“I knew that she was using but she hid it well. When she started to act irrationally on the set than I knew, really knew.” Emma put the container back into her pocket and grabbed Regina’s hands again. Regina heard a soft sigh from Emma, “I want to know what your answer, no I need to know.”

“Why is so important for you to know?” Emma laughs, “You know why and if you want me to speak the obvious I will, but I want to not talk about the elephant in the room right now. I can only deal with so much and head injury and all.”

“Now who is deflecting?”

“We both are but that is beside the point, now if you show me, hum, tell me your than I will tell you mine.” A small chuckle escaped Regina mouth before she could stop it and she knew that Emma saw the slight blush on her face. 

“Do I need to repeat the question?”

“No Emma I heard you the first time.” And Regina paused closed her eyes and she cleared her throat. She felt Emma squeeze her hands and Regina felt her body slowly start to relax. “I would own a pasture.”

“Like for cows?’

“For horses, you twat.” The curse word falling from Regina lips made Emma laugh. “I am sorry, but I just got a visual of you riding a cow.”

“Really a cow?”

“Yeah, I can see you riding a cow really slow and coming up to those jump bars and the cow stopping and eating grass in front of the bar and looking back at you and saying ‘really.’”

“Your wit astounds me dear.” But despite the sarcastic comment she pictured the image in her head and she would not give Emma the satisfaction of laughing. “When I was growing up, my family had an estate. I grew up riding and taking care of horses with my father. I loved it, but my mother had other plans for me. My father had money you see, and he meet my mother through theatre. Her career did not work out, but she married my father and had me. When my career became my mother’s obsession she forced him to sell the ranch to start Mills Entertainment and Investments.” she stopped talking as she heard Emma chuckling.

She started to think about what Emma had asked her and she realized, “Good god Miss Swan you are beginning to rub off on me. Getting me lost in the details and all that.”

“If you have not noticed I happen to like the details, please continue.”

“To make a much longer explanation short, my dream would be to have a small ranch but mostly land with a pasture with horses. I would ride all day and maybe have some stales for other people to rent out and offer riding lessons.”

“There, that is what I need for the scene.”

Regina eyes shot open and she looked at Emma. Emma was grinning like a Chester cat and when Regina tried to pull her hands away Emma tightened the hold on them to stop her from doing so. Confusion colored those brown eyes that lightened in the light and turned to a nice mocha brown.

“Look, I really wanted to know just like I said before. I also was trying to lighten the mood and when you spoke about your past and your father well you had this look on your face. It was like utter happiness, like pure bliss. I want to capture that, and I know that the scene that we are filming now will benefit from that look that you just had.”

Emma saw Regina as she looked at her with guarded eyes, but Emma spoke anyway. “This,” and she glanced around the room, “this is what sustains me. I am where I want to be at this exact moment in my life. I feel as if this is something that I need to do but I really do not know WHY. There are parts of this job that I love and parts that I wish that I did not have to deal with, but it is just the way that it is.”

“I have to say something, do something, put something out there. I am just not truly sure what yet. People say that everybody wants to rule the world and to a certain extent that is true. However, I do not want to rule, control, wield, manipulate or abuse it. For anyone to change the world, first they have to change their world. They must change their circumstances around them and that effect can change others. I want to make a dent, a crack and plant a seed in a small little corner of the world. I want to leave it there for others who are looking for it. I want them to be able to find it. I do not want to be that loud voice that drowns out all others. No, I want to be a small voice in the dark because most people who are searching for their truths, their answers lay into the dark because that is where their fear is. That is where all of those ugly things that make us reside.”

Emma looked down at the floor and she could not meet Regina’s eyes. Emma did not have to hear every detail of every story that made up Regina’s life. Regina was guarded, and Emma suspected by their many conservations that people in her past had instilled into her that to verbalize such thoughts were unacceptable. Regina did not have to speak of such things because all anybody really had to do was to look her in the eyes. And as Emma considered the Burnette’s eyes she saw what Regina would never say out loud. 

Emma was different though. She really had nobody to talk to growing up. Yes, she had Belle and Ruby but not at first, not when she really needed someone to help her. Emma expressed what she felt because if she did not than it would consume her. She was stuck in the dark for so long that it almost consumed her. She found her way out but not without a price. The price at first seemed large and unbearable but as she looked at it as time pasted she saw it for what it was. A painful lesson, her price for living in fear. She saw others as they lived the same and she wanted to reach out, to leave the tools necessary for them to break free. She did not want anybody to have to go through what she went through. She did not want anybody else to be hurt by the very person who claimed to love them.

People say that the first step is the hardest, but the first step is the recognition of the problem. The second step is far harder because you must take the step, you must be willing to accept your reality and the fact that it will never get better. You must face the fear, you must face yourself. Acceptance of a situation is one thing, acceptance of yourself and your actions is another matter entirely.

Emma did not notice as one of Regina’s hand moved to her face to wipe the tears that were falling. She felt her hand as she slowly lifted her head and looked her in the eye. Regina did not have to say anything to Emma, she understood. With her head starting to throb she remembered that she never gave Regina her true answer.

“I want a place somewhere quiet where I can write. Maybe a small house or cabin but not in the middle of the woods. I have seen far too many scary movies to see how that goes. I just want my own space it can just be a room, somewhere quiet. I want someone to see me and not judge me for things that I cannot change. I do not want acceptance out of pity or symphony, I want,” and Emma was silenced by Regina slowly pressing the ruined shirt to her cut. Emma had to pull back because she had done the one thing that she was trying to avoid. She said that she did not want to talk about them, but she let Regina in deeper. She had tried to stop it, then she accepted it and now she tried to run away from it. But the more she ran the more she found herself running toward the very thing that she was trying to escape. 

“I am sorry for the way that Lily treats you, you do not deserve it.” Emma deflected the current conservation by changing the subject.

“Well, if you look at it from my perspective than I can definitely handle your girlfriend. She is more bark than bite. Well maybe a little of both.”

“Lily is jealous of you, but you have already figures this out. She wants to have what you have.”

Regina was a little curious as to what Emma was referring to, “And what would that be dear?”

“She looks at you and she see your talent, your success and feels as if she is owed that. She feels that it should be handed to her because she believes that she deserves it. She does not want to work for it. She does not want to pay her dues so to speak. She is jealous of you because you will always get what you want because you know what it is that you truly want. She does not know what she wants and, so she wants everything.”

“What is it that I truly want?”

A nervous chuckle escapes from Emma before she answers and avoids the question. She changes the topic, but she keeps it on the same train of thought. “Whatever you set your mind to in your life you get it. You are a true definition of a star. Other gravitate toward you because they see the very thing that you recognize in yourself. I see your name in lights on the main drag of Broadway. Your very presence lights up the stage. People will come from every part of the world just to see you. I see it here in every scene that you do. Anything that you do is with style and grace. Movies are not for you, this is the wrong platform for your talents.”

“If that is what is needed for the scene I will provide it. But only on one condition.”

“I do not have to ask what the condition is, you can even take me if you so desire. Let me inform the others and I will meet you at your car?” Regina nodded, and Emma stood up from the chair and after returning it to its original spot started to leave the room.

“Miss Swan, if I were to ask you to dinner or a drink what would you say?”

Emma smiled but she did not turn around. “You mean if we were not attached?” Emma did not hear a response to the question and Emma continued to walk out of the room. She stopped at the door and without turning around she spoke a quiet, “Yes.” She walked out of the room leaving Regina in Emma’s chair.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


	5. The Hospital and the Elephant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimers apply and all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Many humbled thanks for those who have read, commented and have left kudos(I have no idea what it is but thank you anyway)
> 
> Slight Sexual content ahead.

“How is she doing,” Bells inquired as she approached Regina.

“She has agreed to go to the hospital, I am taking her now.”

Belle stepped closer to Regina giving her arm a light squeeze. “I do not have to say it, but I will anyway. Take care of her, she tries to save anybody, but she never seems to think about herself. Did she get rid of it?” Regina looked at Belle and nothing further needed to be said between the two of them. Belle let go of her arm and turned around and walked away from Regina. Regina sighed and started to walk toward her car and a certain blond leaning up against it.

The drive to the hospital was a short one but the cop car behind her was a tad bit annoying. She knew that David was just concerned about his daughter, so he kept his distance. Regina doubted that Emma spotted him, and she was thankful for that. Where Emma’s mother Mary, was overprotective her father David gave Emma the space she needed. The relationship between her step-daughter and herself was a strained one but her step-son in law David always spoke to her in a respectful tone. She realized that Emma picked up that particular trait from him. She was starting to warm up to the man and that in itself was a bit disconcerting. 

Emma was silent and reserved the whole trip to the hospital and as Regina drove closer to their destination she saw Emma pull away from everything else around her and more into herself. When she pulled her legs up into her chest and hugged them Regina told her to put her legs back down. The blonde lowered her head, but she followed the request and she hugged herself and got as close to the door as possible. Regina did not want to address Emma’s behavior because she felt that she may spook the blond more. She turned off the car, grabbed her purse and started to open her door. She was stopped by a gentle pull on her upper arm, “I do not want to do this.”

Regina sighed and answered her in a calming voice, “You have to get your head looked at Emma.”

“I know but I CAN’T do this.” Emma voice was filled with panic as she answered Regina.

Regina turned to Emma and saw her wide fearful eyes and shaking body. Emma removed her hand from Regina’s and glanced down at her feet and tried to make herself as small as possible. She looked as if she was trying to disappear completely and it broke Regina’s heart. She knew that she could not push Emma to tell her something in which she did not want to tell her. “If you do not really want to see your mother than that is fine, I can drive you to Boston.”

“Why do I need to see someone anyway, I did not lose conscious or anything like that? It feels better, head wounds bleed more than most wounds and I am sure that I do not need any stitches.”

“You are deflecting.”

Emma sighed, “I do not like hospitals, I have spent too much time in them.” The last was spoken with in a whisper. Regina turned and slowly moved her hand to Emma’s hands bunched up into her lap. Emma had every opportunity to tell her to stop but no objection was given. After a few moments Emma shaking slowed. “Can you do this for me Emma?”

“She is working today, I just saw her this morning. She will worry and fuss and treat me like a child. I do not need that, I need…” and she did not finish her sentence. It hung there in the air and Regina read between the lines. Emma wanted to tell her more, but she couldn’t. Regina could wait, eventually she will give her the key and she could slowly open all the doors to the many stories that are Emma Swan.

“Do you want me to call Belle, I am sure that…”

“Please don’t leave me.” Regina heard the plea and the desperation in her voice. Emma stared at her with uncertainly in her eyes. Regina pulled Emma’s hands up and placed them directly over her heart. “I will stay with you for as long as you want me to.”

Emma slowly leaned her head on top of the intertwined hands over Regina’s heart. After a few moments Emma turned her head and brushed her lips where her head had once been. The kiss was chaste, and it spoke volumes of what Emma was desperately trying to convey to her. Emma kept her lips there and Regina moved her other hand to the back of her head and started to lightly scratch her scalp and neck. Emma moved closer to the Burnette and Regina moved her hand from her neck to her lower back. They stayed like that until Emma breathing slowed and she stopped shaking. Emma started to pull away and Regina removed her hand. Emma keep her head down and tried to turn away, but a hand interrupted the move and green and brown eyes meet. 

“Can you do this?”

“Only if you come with me?”

Regina was unsure if Emma had not heard her vow the first time or if she just wanted to hear it again. “I will stay with you for as long as you want me to.” Neither of them said anything more as Regina and Emma excited the car and walked into the automatic sliding glass doors under the red Emergency sign.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Belle had called ahead to let the hospital and Emma’s mother know that they were coming. Since Mary Margaret was on the board of directors Emma was ushered into a room as soon as she arrived. Emma was given the customary gown to change into and the nurse left the room. “I will be right outside,” Regina reassured Emma as she walked out into the hallway. She leaned next to the solid wall off to the left of the room and nodded to the nurse as she opened the door and closed it behind her. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back and sighed. The nurse exited the room a few minutes later muttering to herself as she closed the sliding the glass door with a little more force than necessary. Regina raised her head and looked at the nurse stomping away. She smiled and stepped off the wall and opened the sliding glass door. 

Emma was sitting on the end of the examination table with her shirt off holding a small cup with a couple of pills in it. Lying next to her was a bottle of water. Emma glanced up at Regina and gave her a small smile and handed Regina the small container. Regina accepted it with a confused look and looked inside the container unsure as to what Emma wanted her to do with it.

“I do not want them but that stupid nurse keeps on insisting that I need to take them. I do not want them Regina, I do not need them. They do not seem to understand that you can’t fix everything by stuffing a pill down your damn throat.”

“I need to determine what it is that you are trying to tell me Emma, fill in the parts of the story that will enlighten me as to what I need to do with these,” as Regina motioned toward the container.

“They are a muscle relaxer or mood suppressor. It is supposed to make me calmer and I am fine, I do not need them. But that shit of a nurse says that my mother told her that I need to take them, and she just needs to let me decide. I am not a god damn child anymore and if I had not gone into that fucking trailer than I would not be in this fucking mess. I do not need some fucking pills to calm me down, what I need to be is out of this fucking place. All this place has brought me is pain and if they think that a couple of pills will help with that than they are a fucking crazy.”

As Emma rant continued her voice got louder and she started to violently shake again. She held onto the ruined shirt that she had insisted on taking with her and her knuckles were white from squeezing the shirt between her hands. Regina sat down the container on the small counter next to her and stepped toward Emma. 

She grabbed her face and slowly moved Emma’s eyes up to meet hers, “If you do not want the pills than you do not have to take them. It is ok Emma, I promise you.”

“You do not know.”

“I do not know what, Emma you can tell me anything.”

“When they bring you here they hurt you, they say that they are trying to fix you but all they do is make it worse and they push you out into the cold. You never get warm and it is always so cold in here. It is like they are preparing you for it.” Emma was silenced by the light pressure of lips on hers. She did not register it at first but when she focused on the environment around her she smelled Regina’s perfume, felt her warmth from the hands on her face and the soft body that was lightly pressed against her. 

Emma closed her eyes and she enjoyed the comfort. She needed it and despite it all she wished that they were somewhere else, somewhere more private. She had wanted to kiss Regina for months now but now that it was happening she gave into the feel of it all. Emma grabbed Regina and pulled her closer bringing a small surprised sound from the Burnette. If she was dreaming, hallucinating or dead than she was going to make the most of it. 

Emma let Regina control the pace of the kiss. It was soft and tentative, exploratory and slow. They both were getting used to the feel of each other and as their tongues explored the kiss turned into a more passionate one. Emma scooted to the end of the examination table and pulled Regina up to her, helping her step up on the bottom step. As Emma moved further up the table she tried to pull Regina down to her with her hand on the back of Regina’s neck. Regina broke the kiss and got onto the table supporting her body weight on her knees and hands as she slowly lowered herself down onto Emma, straddling her with her arms going around Emma’s neck. Emma raised up to meet Regina’s lips once more from Regina’s new position and Emma’s hand joined the other one as she placed them on the front of Regina’s thighs and slowly moved them up her dress. Her fingers splayed out as she tried to cover as much ground as possible and as she moved her skirt up more she halted her movement.

Emma broke the kiss groaning and Regina laughed, and she kissed Emma again encouraging her to continue her exploration. Emma grabbed ahold of the straps holding up Regina’s garters and ran a finger underneath them as she moved her hands further up. Regina paused her exploration of Emma’s mouth and Emma took the opportunity to pull Regina’s lower lip into hers and gently sucking.

Regina slowly tried to clear her head of all that was happening. She realized where they were and what they were about to do. But as Emma ran both her hands up her inner thighs with the back of her hands she broke the kiss and threw her head back arching her body closer. Emma expected the move and quickly moved her right hand to Regina’s back to support her and to stop her from falling off the table. Emma other hand explored and moved to Regina’s center slowly cupping it and grinding her palm into her. 

Emma felt a hand against her chest between her breasts pushing her down and she pulled back. Regina stared at her and Emma had only dreamed of the look that she was giving her right now. Emma could imagine that she probably carried the same blown eyes and flushed checks.

Regina cleared her throat, lifted herself and with help from Emma stepped down from the bottom step of the examination table. She looked down as she tried to calm her breathing. “See better than some damn pills,” Emma provided, and Regina raised her head, lightly chuckling. Regina walked over to the small counter and leaned on it trying to straighten her clothes. Emma sat back onto the bed leaning on her elbows watching the Burnette’s every move.

They both heard the sliding glass door open and Emma’s mother entered. She gently closed the door behind her and turned to face the two women. She glanced between the two of them and saw the rumpled appearance of Regina’s clothes and the smeared lipstick on both of their lips. She suppressed her comment and after a few seconds she put on her best work face. 

“Emma, you are not changed, how are you supposed to get the necessary tests done if you can’t follow my simple instructions.”

“Sorry mom, I will be changed in a minute. Mother I believe that you know Regina.” Regina had cleaned her lipstick the best she can considering that she did not have a mirror and faced her step daughter. Snow eyes bore into Regina and Regina stared back with the same intensity. A light laugh brought both women back to the present.

“Mom, hey can we get this show on the road, I have stuff that I need to do after this.” Either Emma did not realize what she had said, or she knew the type of reaction that she was trying to provoke from her mother. Regina looked at Emma and the look she gave her at first was not a friendly one. But she saw Emma’s slight smirk and the twinkle in her eyes and Regina shock her head. She thought to herself ‘god what has this woman done to me,’ and she still in awe of the answer. Emma surprised her at every possible turn and she imagined that if they continued this that it would never being boring between them.

Mary stared at her daughter, “Finish getting changed and we can get you out of here to do your ‘stuff’ that is so important.” 

Snow turned away from Emma, gave one final glare toward Regina and left the room closing the sliding glass door behind her. Regina turned back to face Emma as she saw her start to get off the table, but she faltered grabbing the end of the table to steady herself. A hand went to her head and Regina grabbed her other hand offering her some support.

“I am blaming you for this, getting my blood flowing to different parts of my body.” Emma glanced up at Regina and saw her eyebrow raised and a slight smirk. “I was not going to cover up or hide what happened because for me to do so would mean that I felt that I had done something wrong.” Emma moved her hand from her head to Regina’s face, “and either of us had done anything wrong.” Emma leaned forward and gave Regina a light peck on her lips, “Now let me get changed so that we can get out of here.”

“Telling me what to do again Miss Swan?”

Emma smiled at Regina and turned around letting go of Regina’s hand and the end of the table and started to unbutton her pants. After she moved her pants down to her upper thighs she sat down and started to lift her leg to grab the end of the tight Demin. “No, just requesting,” Emma said to Regina retreating form as she started to move toward the sliding glass door. After a few seconds Emma breathed out a quiet “Thank you.”

Regina halted her movement, “You do not have to thank me.”

“Yes, I do, I know that you saw the scars and unlike others you did not stare at them.”

“You will tell me one of these days Miss Swan.”

“And you are so sure of this?”

Regina chuckled and gave Emma her last parting shot. “Yes,” and Regina walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

As much as Regina hated to admit it fruit is a good snack but only part of a complete meal. The rest of her lunch was back at the factory and as she got off the elevator to enter the cafeteria she realized that the food would never be good as granny’s. She stood off to the side looking at the menu trying to find something that she knew that they could not screw up to badly. 

She approached the small refrigerated section and grabbed a salad and a yogurt parfait. She sat them down in front of the cashier and asked for a bottle of water. She was tempted to grab Emma a cherry coke, but she knew that the blond would probably not be allowed to consume any caffeine for a while. After paying a small fortune for the food, the food was bagged, and Regina entered the elevator and exited to the main floor. She had a few minutes to kill and she entered the gift shop. She saw the various items and quickly glanced around. Her eyes rested on one of the many stuffed animals on a shelf. 

It was a light gray stuffed elephant with pink feet, ears and belly. It was the eyes that caused Regina to stop. The eyes were dark but around the edges of them they had light speck of pink and gray. But as she moved, and the angle of the light changed the outer edge of the eyes changed to golden specks. The eyes carried a soulful look and they reminded her of another pair of eyes. The animal screamed Emma and she debated on wheatear or not she should pick it up. Emma was not a child after all, but a grown woman and it would look a little ridiculous if others saw Regina with the stuffed animal in her possession.

She started to walk away but her gut screamed for her to stop. She sighed and lowered her head and grabbed the stuffed animal and approached the counter. She heard the sounds of the item being rung up and the kind voice of the lady behind the counter asking her if she wanted anything else. Regina glanced up at the small kind face of the older women and spotted the candy behind the counter. “Yes, and I will have two of those,” and the women grabbed the candy and placed the items in a bag. Regina payed the women and walked back toward Emma’s room a lot broker than before but happy.

Emma was not in the room when Regina returned, and she placed the bags on the counter by the sink and grabbed her food. She sat in the chair off by the door and slowly started to eat. She figured that Emma would be a little while longer and maybe if she ate slow than the time would move faster. She glanced at the table and she smiled because she will never think about hospitals in the same way again. 

Regina thought over their conservation after their kiss and as she read between the lines she realized what the blonde was really trying to tell her. She was not with Lily anymore. Regina growled in frustration because she saw many an argument in the future started because Emma was not a direct woman. Despite this she still wanted Emma, she still wanted them together. She had lived long enough in her thirty-four years to know that THIS was something special. But oh, how they were going to have to fight to keep it. 

She sliding glass door opened and Regina did not have to look up to see who it was. She deliberately stayed away from the room for as long as she could because she did not want to have a confirmation with her step-daughter. She knew Mary well and she knew that she would wait for the perfect time to confront her. She debated as to rather or not she should do this, HOWEVER, she was not one who backed down when challenged.

Snow closed the door behind her and walked to the other side of the small room. She looked at Regina, but Regina did not look up. She continued to eat her salad and after finishing her bite she sat down her fork into her food container, closed it and placed it on the counter and looked at Snow. 

Regina’s posture was straight, and her hands were folded in her lap. Both women were waiting for the other to speak and Regina knew that she could hold out longer. Snow was always a chatty child and she knew that it had not left her as she moved into adulthood.

Snow said through gritted teeth, “I wanted to thank you for bringing Emma here. She needed to come, and your persuasion tactics are top notch.” Snow paused and waited to see if Regina would respond to her statement. When no reply came she continued, “There is some shards as well as two bigger pieces of glass in the cut. It will have to be removed and the cut will need a few stitches but other than that it is fine.”

“That is good to here, I will let Belle and Ruby know. Will she be able to sleep through the night?”

“I see no problem with that. She did not lose consciousness and the other tests show no permeant damage.”

“Do you know when we can leave?”

The ‘we’ part of the question grated on Snow’s nerves, but she let it lie and answered Regina’s question. “She should be ready to leave in an hour or so. We had to sedate her to get the tests done so it will take her a little while to come out of it.”

Regina rose from her chair and approached Snow with her hands curled into fists. “Did Emma let you do this?”

“We did not have much choice, you were not there to kiss away the panic.”

“You could have called me, I left because nurse Ratchet told me that it be about an hour. Why did you not have them call me?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“You deliberately try to keep Emma away from me when I am not the one that hurt her. Are you going to call Lily up here to finish the job?”

“You will hurt her.”

“And you are so sure of this. Your job is as such that you must put aside your personal feeling to perform it. You would rather hold your daughter down while you stick a needle in her arm instead of having me in the same room with you. Now my dear Snow, how is that in the best interest of your patient.”

“I can’t tell Emma what to do, she is old enough for that. But I have told her repletely over these last few months that you are not how you present yourself to be. I have heard the rumors and I know that you are just using Emma. You will disregard her when you are finished playing your games and I will have to clean up your mess.”

Regina bitter laughs made Snow cringe. Regina turned away from Snow and returned to her chair. With her rigid posture legs crossed in front of her and her hands neatly in her lap she took control of the conservation. As Regina’s cruel smile crossed her lips, she offered one last parting shot. “I will stay here until she gets back, I will take her back to Granny’s and whatever we may or not do is none of your god damn business. I am many things step-daughter, but I would never let Emma become something that she is not. And despite your knowledge of this you choose to believe others instead of your supposed adopted daughter. Now what type of mother does that make you?”

The sliding glass door opened, and David Nolan entered the room. He had heard most of the heated conservation and stepped in to intercede before it led to something more. He slowly closed the door behind him and turned around looking at the two women. He could sense the hostility in the room and he deliberately did not acknowledge it. He knew when to pick his battles and this was one battle that he knew either woman was going to back down from.

“Snow, she just woke up and they want to know if she should be brought back here or kept where she is.”

“Did Emma tell you what she wanted?”

“She did, she said that although holding my hand is good she would rather have Regina with her in the room.” David turned to Regina, “If that is ok with you Miss Mills I can take you to her.” 

Regina stood up and repacked her bags and turned to David as he walked her toward her new destination. She did not acknowledge Snow’s presence as she left but she figured that if Snow wanted to ‘talk’ to her again that she would find her.

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David did not say anything as he lead Regina from the E.R. to the elevators and took her to the third floor of the hospital. He gave her plenty of space and let her get in and out of the elevator first. They went through two wooden doors and entered the main lobby of admitting. Regina wondered which room Emma was in as she glanced around the open space. David gestured toward several chairs at the far wall and after Regina nodded to David, he approached the nurses station. 

She saw his hunched form as he leaned over the counter talking to the nurses and after a few minutes he turned back around and approached Regina. He held a take-out coffee cup in each hand and after offering Regina one he sat down in the seat next to her. He pulled out several containers of creamers as well as different kinds of sweeteners from his coat pocket and held him in his hand offering the Burnette first pick. Regina picked the items she wanted, and David put the rest down into his lap and proceeded to fix his coffee. 

“Nobody held her down you know.”

“I do not know besides they did not call me.” David shook his head in understanding but said nothing. He grabbed his trash and after getting Regina’s as well he walked and deposited them to the trash can nearby. He sat back down into his seat and sighed.

“You should be able to go into the room in a few minutes. The drugs are still making her a little groggy and they want to be sure that she is coherent enough to clean out the wound. Did Mary tell you about what else needed to be done?”

“Yes, she did.” 

“I did not hear that part of your conservation and I did not want to tell you something that you already knew.”

“Were we that loud?” But Regina already knew the answer to that. David laughed and shook his head and it remined her so much of Emma that she did not know how these two did not share the same blood.

“I told Emma that Lily was bad for her. But as with any child when it comes to their parents they do not listen.” Regina chuckled at that as she thought back to the many stories of Emma’s stubbornness from Belle, Ruby, granny and others. Emma was an independent and prideful to a fault.

“You have to admit that this situation is a strange one.” David glanced at Regina and she nodded for him to continue. “First you were Snow’s step-mother and now you are with her daughter. Technically that would make you my step-mother in law. It is a little hard to wrap my head around.” Regina felt the same way, but she would never verbalize it. She was aware that many obstacles stood in their way such as the complimented family history and their age difference. Emma had told that thirty-four was not old, but this was coming from someone who was twenty-four. ‘You are at that point in your life where you feel comfortable with yourself and that only comes with age.’

“You see, and I can tell you this because this is my story as well as Emma’s, she may not be blood, but she is my daughter. I recognized immediately that she needed space to breath when we first were fostering her but Snow well…” And the rest of the sentence hung in the air. Regina was learning to read between the lines because of Emma and she now knew where Emma picked up this trait. She gave David time to continue.

“Mary saw a small broken child that needed to be fixed. She is the type of woman that wants to fix everything. She feels that Emma needs to be protected and guided because she did not have that as a child. Mary has to prove to herself as well as Emma that although she is not hers by blood she is still her daughter.” ‘Our parents tell us that they want us to be better than themselves, and to a certain extent that is true. However, they also want to protect us, they want to steer us toward their better, their dream. We all have dreams but sometimes their dreams become our burdens, our crosses to bear.’ “When she looks at Emma even now she sees that fourteen-year old girl with a fractured hip and a broken…”

David stopped and turned to face Regina, “What has she told you about the scars?” Regina seriously debated on telling him that she knew the whole story, but she knew that Emma would never forgive her if she found out that she learned her story from a third party. Regina wanted to know what she was walking into with the blonde but a part of her wanted to discover it on her own. Emma would tell her, but Regina needed to give her the time to be comfortable enough to do so. She was impatient, but she wanted them to grow together. She wanted them to build the foundation of THIS on their own brick by slow brick.

“Nothing, I saw the scars on her lower back tonight, but she has not told me how she got them.”

“Ah, Emma always a guarded one.” Regina smiled because she had heard this phrase applied to her blond conundrum now for the past two months. “I will leave it for Emma to tell you but just by the facts that she showed them to you means something. She is not one that is easy to trust but I even see something between you to. She will tell you everything but just give her time to,’ David grabbed and lightly squeezed Regina’s hand, “and she will.”

“Emma is an independent woman who is street smart and no matter what she does in life she will always do it well. I know that she is too much of a free spirit to be protected or contained. She needs to have the space to make her own mistakes and to discover her own truth. I know that her truth is different than my own and I understand that. And when she finally comes to you for help she is not very happy about it.”

“You seem to get along better with Emma than Mary?” David smiled lightly and responded, “Oh, we have had a few disagreements. I have had to arrest her twice but after she spent a night in the jail cell than we came to understand each other a little better. Emma learned when not to push me too far and I learned that she can pick locks with almost anything.”

Regina laughed, and she could indeed picture a much younger Emma picking the lock to her jail cell. “Look,” David said, “although the situation is a little unorthodox I just wanted to let you know that I am trying to accept it. Just give me a little time, although I can imagine that if Emma were our real daughter, then that would take a lot longer for me to wrap my head around.”

Regina hummed in response and realized that she needed to find some way to truly communicate with Emma if they were going to have any type of a relationship. Regina knew what she felt but there was just enough doubt in herself to not trust her feeling toward the blond. She did not want to hurt Emma but not having Emma was hurting her more. She wanted to communicate this to Emma but her conditioning since she was a child prevented her from doing so. Regina bowed her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Yep, it was never going to be boring!

Nurse Ratchet came out a door off to the left and approached the pair. “I just got the call telling us to keep her here. Thank you David for bringing Miss Mills here.” David nodded toward the nurse and the nurse turned toward Regina, “She is right through that door Miss Mills, she will be happy to see you.” The nurse smiled, nodded and left the pair. The both stood up and approached the room.

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Regina found Emma in the middle of the room laying away from the door, on the bed curled up into a fetal position. A blanket covered her up to her chin and her breathing was shallow and calm. Regina thought at first that she may still be asleep. As the door closed Emma turned and looked at the two visitors. She smiled at her dad as she just looked at Regina blinking slightly as if she could not imagine that she was there. Her eyes were bright, and her smile made Regina feel that she would always be worth the wait if she looked at her that way. 

“I do not want to interrupt but I just wanted to see if you are truly okay before I take my leave.”

“You are not interrupting dad, you know that. You are always welcome.”

“Be as that may you told that holding my hand was not as good as having Regina here and I am a man of my word.”

“Yes, you are but thank you for the hand holding,”

David approached Emma and leaned down and kissed her on the head, “Parents do not need thanks when it comes to their children. We will do anything in this world for them. However, a thank you occasionally, makes our efforts well worth it. I will leave you to ladies to it, although I should warn you that some of the nurses do not knock.”

Emma looked down and blushed and as David chuckled he turned his head and tried to look at Regina as well, but she glanced away. David leaned down and whispered into Emma’s ear and Emma’s blush deepened. He leaned up smiling and extending his hand to Regina, “Until next time Miss Mills, take care of my baby girl.” Regina accepted his hand, “I will Mister Nolan you have my word.”

“And polite to boot, you should keep this one daughter, she is definitely better than the last few.” He walked out the door and Emma stared at his retreating form. She looked toward Regina with a surprised look on her face, “I just got my father’s blessing, what the hell did you say to him on the walk over?”

“That the marriage is next year and that you can keep your last name.”

Emma looked at Regina with narrow eyes and a slightly bend head, “Well, someone is getting ahead of themselves. We have not even had a first date.”

“We have had coffee many times over the past two months would not that be considering dating?” Regina saw a look of panic cross Emma’s face and closed the distance between them and grabbed her hands. “Relax Emma, I need time too.” Emma looked up and meet Regina’s eyes for a moment, cleared her throat and looked down onto the bed. “We have to talk first I know that but…” Regina squeezed Emma hands again and as Emma raised her head she smiled at Regina. The rest of Emma’s thought did not need to be verbalized because Regina filled in the rest of it. 

“Did you have a nice discussion with my mother?”

Regina want with the change in the conservation. “It was a very enlightening one, I will give you that.”

“I can imagine, so what is in the bag?” Regina lowered her head, sighed and handed the bag with the stuff animal in it to Emma, awaiting her response.

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Regina held Emma’s hand as her head was gently cleaned and the pieces of glass was removed. She saw that Emma did not like any of the doctors or nurses that entered the room. She was surprised that Mary did not come to see her daughter, but she left that conservation with Emma for another day. When Emma first saw Dr. Whale she asked him to take off his white coat and to ‘make the stitches small or else she was going to cut his heart out with a spoon.’ Regina got the movie reference and had to admit that although her career did not give her much free time to watch movies that she thoroughly enjoyed the many girl’s night with Emma, Ruby, Belle and herself. 

When Regina gave Emma the stuffed animal she knew that it was worth every penny and every strange look from the staff. Emma held the stuffed animal close to her chest as they sewed her up and the look on her face when she first saw it was pure joy. The nurse entered the room and Emma signed the discharge papers that were handed to her. As Emma gave the paperwork back to the nurse she was then handed a white paper bag with her medication.

“No, I do not need them you can take them back.”

“Miss Swan it is just a few pain pills and an antibiotic. It will help you with your pain and to make sure that your cut does not become infected.”

“I do not need them, just give me a shot or something.”

The nurse started to respond but Regina stood up and leaned over the bed and grabbed the bag. “Thank you, nurse I will make sure that she takes these.” The nurse nodded her thanks and left the room with her clipboard in hand.

Regina felt the heated stare that the blond was giving her, and she smiled slightly as she sat back in her chair staring straight ahead at the wall. She said nothing and after a few minutes of silence Regina said with a light tone in her voice, “If you want to get out of here we can, do you need help getting dressed?”

Regina turned to face Emma now and Emma’s stare did not have as much bite to it as it did before. She looked tired and Regina could tell that almost all the fight had left her. Emma shook her head and slowly stood up from the bed and grabbed the clothes and walked toward the bathroom to change. With her back to Regina she told her before she reached the door, “You can tell Belle that I got rid of it. It will take more than Lily to lead me down that path again.” 

“I did not ask because I knew that it was not an issue.” Emma shook her head and entered the bathroom closing the door behind her. Belle and Ruby understood Emma to a certain degree but Regina saw more than they ever could. She saw the parts that Emma hide, and she accepted all of them. She did because she knew that Emma saw all her weaknesses and accepted them as well. This was enough for Regina, she just hoped that it was enough for Emma. 

Emma did not say another word as they left the hospital and entered the car. She went into the back seat and laid across it. Regina thought about telling her about safety and seatbelts, but she decided against it and drove her back to the hotel. The blond needed rest nothing more.

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Emma was half sleep by the time that they arrived at the parking lot of Granny’s. Regina opened her door and gently shook Emma awake offering her hand. Most of the cast and crew occupied small areas of the parking lot standing over small fire pits and drinking. Almost everyone noticed the pair and Emma smiled and waved at a few of them as she followed Regina to her destination. She did not know where she was going but when she appeared before Regina’s and Belle’s room her destination became clear. Regina knocked quietly once, and Belle opened the door and looked past Regina at Emma. “Em, my god girl you look like death warn over. Get your ass in here.”

Emma complied and entered the room and Belle offered her arm and lead her to the corner of her bed. “Sit girl, gather your bearings. Ruby should be back in a few; can I get you something to drink?” Emma shook her head, but Belle ignored her and went to the fridge, grabbing her a bottle of water. Regina gave Belle the bag and Belle opened it and looked at the various prescriptions that Emma was given. 

Emma glanced at Regina and saw her rumpled clothes and tired eyes and she blamed herself. Regina’s current state was because of her actions. She lowered her head staring at the floor and Emma saw a hand with two white pills and one multi-colored one enters her vision. She shook her head but the incitant hand pulled at hers and deposited the pills into her hand closing it and put a bottle of water between her legs.

Emma heard a light knock and with a quick glance up she saw Ruby enter the room. She quickly lowered her head again and she heard Ruby walk toward her and drop down on her knees in front of her. Ruby gently grabbed and raised her face and turned it from side to side inspecting the damage. Ruby sighed, let go of her face and sat next to her on the bed pulling her into a side way hug. She put Emma head on her shoulder and pulled her as close as Emma would let her. Emma felt small circles moving back and forth on her back and relaxed into the touch. Ruby said nothing to her and that was fine by her besides what could she say that they already did not know.

She saw Regina and Belle fall into their nighttime routine and she just watched the two women. She saw Belle as she went into the bathroom and Regina as sat down on the other bed, night clothes in hand. Emma was startled by a loud bang and shouts coming from outside the room and as Emma started to stand Ruby pulled her back down. A quick glance toward Regina had Ruby standing from her seated position to Emma’s side only to have Ruby’s spot occupied by Regina. Belle ran out of the bathroom wrapped in her robe and followed Ruby as they both approached and opened the door. 

Lily was inside the gate of the pool dumping Emma’s clothes into the pool. A small firepit sat right outside the gate and the fire burned whatever was in it. Both women looked at each other and they both knew what Lily was doing. She was attempting to destroy all of Emma’s things. How Lily had gotten into Emma’s room was unimportant? What was important was that Emma had very few personal possessions that she carried with her. Belle turned and moved into the room grabbing her coat and shoes trying to move as fast as she could to get down the stairs. She knew what would happen if Lily managed to destroy any of the Blonds possessions.

Ruby looked toward Belle and the look their exchange spoke volumes. Ruby ran out the door causing it to bang against the wall which startled Emma. She was starting to truly relax and was starting to fall asleep leaning on Regina’s shoulder. The body can only take so much trauma before the adrenalin wears off and by Emma’s sluggish movement as she once again tried to stand proved this. She was pulled back into Regina’s shoulder and she snuggled into Regina sighing softly. 

Belle looked at the two women as they sat on the bed and smiled. “About fucking time,” and Emma gave her a tired smile. Belle moved toward the women and gently kissed Emma on her forehead and moved toward Emma’s left ear. “Don’t you fuck this up Emma this one will stay.” Regina knew that she told Emma this for her benefit as well. The two women exchanged a small glance and Belle moved toward the window right off by the door. She opened the curtains and looked out at the scene below.

Lily was being lead off by David in handcuffs while several of the cast and crew were grabbing Emma’s clothes from the pool with the pool skimmer. Ruby was by the fire pit looking at what was burned. Lily head bunt David and he responded by pushing her up against the pool gate. Belle knew that it had to hurt. 

“What is happening?” the blond asked in a quiet and tired voice. Belle glanced from the scene below toward Emma, “It is nothing that you need to worry about, why don’t you shower Em, then you should try to get some sleep.”

“Thanks Belle I can go to my room and…”

“No, you are not you are staying here tonight. Even though you can sleep uninterrupted you still need to be watched.” Emma looked at Belle calling her on her bullshit and Belle meet her challenge. “Fine, I need you to stay here besides I am sure that Regina is willing to share her bed tonight.” Emma glanced down at the floor blushing and Belle smiled. 

“Besides, you have not taken your medicine.” 

“I just need a Tylenol or something.”

“This is Tylenol but with something else, it will help you sleep.”

“I do not want it Belle.”

“You need it Miss Swan and it will help you sleep.” Regina countered.

“Telling me what to do again Miss Mills?” The statement although teasing held a question.

Regina answered and let Emma take her take next statement however she wanted to interrupt it. “Just suggesting but I highly recommend that you take it.”

“Highly recommending?” and her next remark was cut off by the look that Belle gave her. Emma felt a slight vibration from her human pillow and glanced at Regina as she chuckled and reached between the Blonds leg to grab the bottle of water. She twisted off the cap and handed it to Emma watching her as Emma swallowed the pills. Regina looked at Emma and she sighed and opened her mouth moving her tongue up and moving her head from side to side showing her that she had indeed taken the pills. When Emma did the same to Belle, Belle nodded and walked toward Emma pulling her up from the corner of the bed. She handed her some clothes and pushed her toward the bathroom, “Shower girl, you smell like hospital.” Emma walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her.

“You should go in with her, she is supposed to have help.”

“She is not my women, go take care of your lady.” Regina smiled and knocked on the door before entering the bathroom. Emma was on the toilet when Regina closed the door. “If it is okay with you Emma, you can stay, the bed is big enough for two.” Emma gave Regina a shy smile and stood up from her position and started to get undressed. She stopped suddenly, and her body tensed up and she looked at Regina unsure what to do. “Do you need help, I do not mind?” Regina stepped closer offering support but also trying to give her some distance if needed.

“There are more scars, too many stories to tell.”

“The scars do not scare me Emma or any of the stories behind them. If you feel so inclined to tell me than I will listen. I only offered because the nurse said that you might need some help showering.” Emma expression hardened, and David’s words came back to Regina, ‘and when she finally comes to you for help she is not very happy about it.”

“I can turn around until you are in the shower if you want. I do not want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I am not uncomfortable, I just do not want you to see me like this.”

“And how do you see yourself?” The question threw Emma off and she sighed and slowly lowered her head into her hands. “It hurts, why do those who say they love me hurt me. What have I done, what can I do better to stop them from hurting me?”

Emma felt warm hands as Regina pulled her hands into her own. Regina gave her a small smile and said nothing. She understood the rhetorical question, but she knew that Emma needed to verbalize it anyway. Regina could only offer Emma support and comfort and she was glad that she had accepted it.

Regina stayed near but she turned around and faced the door giving Emma privacy. She heard the shower curtain open and the water turn on. When the curtain closed Regina glanced back to make sure that Emma was in the shower and then started to get ready for bed. After she changed she started to brush her teeth as she kept an ear out for Emma.

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Emma turned the water hotter as she let the spray calm her aching muscles. She quickly grabbed the shampoo and conditioner washing her hair and as she smelled the apple body wash she smiled. She loved that smell on Regina and it made her feel closer to her in some small way. 

Emma wanted to talk to Regina, but she did not know how to start the conservation. Regina meant something to her and she cared for the brunette very deeply. She felt this from the very beginning and she had never connected to anyone so fast. She was scared because she knew that she would screw it up, she always did. When she left Lily, she did not tell Regina because she did not want her to feel as if she was a rebound. ‘she was a lady and should be treated as,’ Emma growled lightly and shook the head to clear her thoughts. She was frustrated she used words such as infatuation, attraction, admiration or respect to cover up what she truly felt. 

She thought that she reached a point in her life where if she truly wanted something than she would attain it. She was usually the one that made the first move but with Regina it was different. Regina took the risk and finally let Emma know what she felt. She was different when she was around Regina and that scared her the most. They were not together but Regina had changed her, she made her stronger. 

Emma heard Regina as she approached the shower and she opened the curtain a little bit and looked out. Regina handed her a spare toothbrush, “You are not supposed to get your cut wet Emma. Damn it women do I have to come in there and clean you myself?” There was a slight irritation in Regina’s voice but no malice. A small smile and a light peck on Regina’s lips gave her the answer to her question as the blondes’ head disappeared behind the curtain again. 

Emma knew what she wanted, no she knew what she had to do. If she could not talk to her than she had to show her. She needed to make the next move, she needed to communicate with Regina on her level. After finishing brushing her teeth she shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. She had to face Regina and to show her what she was getting involved with. She had to show her imperfections, her true shame that she always carried. She just hoped that Regina could accept all of her. She cleared her throat and balled her fists at her sides awaiting Regina’s response. 

The sight of Emma’s nude body caught Regina off guard. Regina’s eyes roamed the pale flesh placed before her. She took in every scar, every little story that the blond was trying to show her. Emma was warning her what she was getting into as well as asking her if she really wanted to this. Regina did not linger for too long because she knew what she wanted. But now was not the time to pursue her wants, she needed to take care of Emma. 

Regina turned and grabbed her robe on the hook at the back of the bathroom door and walked toward Emma. She placed the robe around Emma’s shoulders and helped her into it, tying the rope into place. She grabbed a towel behind Emma and put her hair up in it. She leaned in and kissed the now semi clothed Emma giving her answer. Emma pulled back from the kiss and looked Regina in the eyes questioning the look within them. Emma nodded and leaned back into Regina bringing their foreheads together, tugging her closer. They both embraced relieved that they both finally had the answer to the one question that been plaguing them for months. With the elephant faced each woman was caught up in their own thoughts. 

Emma broke there hold after a few minutes and looked toward the bathroom door. Her look was unreadable as she walked past Regina and exited the room looking for Belle and Ruby. Emma stared at a wet cardboard box on the table in the room. The writing on the side was warped but Emma knew the words as well as the contents in which was held inside the box. “No, no, no,” and Emma repeated the word many more times her voice slowly rising. 

Belle and Ruby turned, and Ruby held up her hands, “No Em, nothing was damaged. The box got wet and some of the other stuff but see,” and she turned around and pulled out a baby blanket with her name stitched into it. Emma ran to Ruby and grabbed the blanket. She inspected it and handed it back to Ruby. “The noise outside, it was her, why did you not tell me?

“Girl, there was not time besides you needed to take care of yourself. I took care of it and nothing was damaged.” Ruby smirked and continued, “Your clothes will need to be washed, pool water just does not get out the tough stains.”

Emma accepted the arms that wrapped around her from behind and the head the snuggled into her shoulder. She instantly relaxed and she was beginning to wonder why she did not try to pursue Regina sooner. “Was she arrested?” Regina questioned as she pulled Emma closer.

“Yeah for assault, assaulting a police officer, disturbance of the peace, and all around fuckery. David’s quote not mine.” Emma gave her a small smile and turned and entered the bathroom closing the door behind her. She emerged a few minutes later now clothed and started to move toward Regina’s bed. She stopped and as she looked at Regina confirming the invitation and after it was given she settled on top of the covers grabbing her stuffed animal and closing her eyes. 

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Regina sighed after she turned off the shower and stepped out. She wrapped a towel around herself and went to the mirror above the sink wiping it with a hand towel. She hurried getting ready for bed because she wanted to feel Emma in her arms. After Emma had fallen asleep Regina had grabbed one of the big cherries candy bars that she bought from the gift shop and put it on the night stand next to blond. She glared at Ruby as she described them as ‘absolutely fucking adorable,’ but a part of her accepted the compliant. 

When she exited the bathroom, she was surprised to see Emma sitting up talking to her two friends. It was a hushed conservation that stopped after they realized that Regina had entered the room. “Well, do not stop on my accord.”

“We were just deciding on a movie to watch, any suggestions?” Belle asked as she got up from the bed and walking over to the table grabbing her laptop. “It needs to be discussed or otherwise we will be watching some fluffy romance movie.”

“Hey, what is so wrong with a little romance?” Emma shot back to Belle.

“We can leave you two alone, if that is what you truly want. However, I have a feeling that you are not supposed to be exerting yourself for a little while, so Em, what sounds good?”

Emma shrugged and leaned against the head board. As it turned out since Emma withdrew her herself from the conservation the three other women had a hard time deciding what to watch. They knew that Emma would probably not last but a few minutes into the movie, but they wanted to give her some normality after the day that she had had. 

Regina could tell that Emma was still in pain and after agreeing to Belle’s suggestion she settled into bed pulling Emma down and moved her to her chest. Emma did not fight, and she drifted off to sleep Regina followed her after a few minutes. She felt safe, warm and comfortable for the first time in too many years. 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie quote is from Robin Hood Prince of thieves. Yes I realize the irony.
> 
> When I originally wrote the first kiss scene I left out Emma grabbing onto Regina as she arched back. It was only when I was rereading it that I pictured her falling off the examination table. I laughed until there was tears.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimers apply and all mistakes are my own.

Chapter 6

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12 years ago

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The pounding on Emma’s door woke her up. Her mother could not get into her room on the second story of their little apartment. The door could only be opened from the inside when she was in it. With a dead bolt lock and the key that she kept on her person at all time she felt safe in her small room. Well, relatively safe as the door had three safety bolts that re-enforced it. 

Emma removed the covers from her body and shivered in the cold air. It was March and the last of winter held on, but her mother had not turned on the heat. Wool blankets on the windows, a small space heater, and a homemade quilt atop her bed provided her only means of warmth. But she did not ever fall asleep with the space hater on because she did not want to start a fire. Emma had to think about her safety because as of late her mother did not. She was too caught up in her own life that her daughter well-being was of little consequence to her. 

She was just a check every month and Emma had to either take a few dollars of change from her mother when she could or work odd jobs around town. Emma found it ironic that her mother accused her of stealing money when the money was provided for her care. She never saw it as stealing, she needed to take care of herself and the occasional job only provided so much. She had learned to get by with very little and she did not want for much.

She had learned to be a light sleeper over the years but with the current knocking on her door her mother could wake the dead. She stood up from her bed, slipped into her slippers and moved toward the door quickly. She would have grabbed a sweater and a pair of jeans, but she did not have time. Her current clothing of a men’s undershirt and flannel sleeping shorts had to do. She knew not to keep her mother waiting. 

The more her mother pounded on the door the worse her punishment would be. The wooden paddle with holes in it rested right outside her door on the table. The holes in the paddle gave the wooden object more bite when it was used on her. If she was elsewhere in the house when she was punished than anything would do. She now knew how much damage a wire hanger could inflect on a body. From a pot, to a pan, everything was fair game. She did not hide anymore because the punishment would be worse besides where would she go. Emma watched what she said and did around the woman. Her movements were always carefully and slow because fear and pain is a very powerful motivator to a child.

Emma released the security bolts and the deadbolt lock and opened the door. She did not know what her mother was currently on, but she could tell that she was on something. Elizabeth swayed slightly and when Emma looked into her eyes her eyes were glossed over and constantly moving. When she spoke, her words came out slurred and sluggish. 

“I have knocking on your door for a VERY long time. Why did you not answer?” Her question was full of venom and malice. When her mother was like this then it was better to say nothing at all, but she was asked a direct question, she needed to provide an answer. She tried to kept her voice free of emotion but a light tremor could not be suppressed when she responded. “It is 4 o clock in the morning it took me a few minutes to wake up.”

“I do not care what time it is, I need you now. I let you put that ridiculous locks on your door on one condition.”

“I understand mother and I will be faster next time. What do you need me to do?”

“I need you clean up downstairs, the social worker will be here in the morning.”

“Mom, I have school tomorrow. If I miss another day than I will get suspended and I may not have enough credits to pass the semester.”

Elizabeth considered her answer, “You have time to do both. I am sure that woman at the diner can provide you with some coffee or something to help you out. You just need to be there.”

Emma looked down, “Yes mother, just let me grab some clothes and I will clean up the mess.”

“Are your current clothes not appropriate enough to get the job done. You answered your door in them. You told me that you needed the locks to keep Frank from coming into the room. Is this how you answer the door when he comes knocking?”

Emma was trapped, no matter how she answered her mother would not like the it. She remained quiet and she looked down at the floor. Looking her mother in the eyes now would prompt her mother to think that she was being confrontational. 

Her clothing offered very little left to the imagination, but she did not know who was left downstairs and what condition they were in. Sometimes all others needed was an excuse and her lack of attire were their reason that they provided when she tried to tell her mother. Emma fought most of them off, but a few caught her by surprise. 

“You told me that I had to answer the door promptly and I did. I just need few minutes to,” and Emma was cut off by Elizabeth grabbing her arm and pulling her hard to her. It would leave bruises and Emma stood only a few centimeters from her mother’s face. She knew that she needed to approach the situation very carefully. 

Elizabeth next words were spit out, “I see the way you look at him, why would this be any different. You wear your skimpy little outfits around the house teasing him, what difference does it make now?”

This was not Fred by Jeffrey. He was Emma’s step-father for many years and he provided for Elizabeth and Emma. Emma was always cautious around him because she did not feel comfortable being left alone with him. She was nine when it started and at the time she did not know what was happening to her. She tried to tell her mother but she did not listen. In one of her drugged states she told her that nothing was free. Emma learned to not want not seek anybody’s help because the price was too high.

When she was twelve she fought back. He hurt her by breaking her nose and arm. She could not hide these marks and when she turned up pregnant he was charged and Elizabeth and she were left on her own. She convinced the court that she did not know what was happening but the court kept a very close eye on her mother. That was when the true abuse began. Elizabeth blamed Emma for what happened and as Elizabeth moved more toward drugs for her coping, Emma tried to become more independent. She was going to run away, she had to. 

“Mother you are hurting me,” and it came out in a little voice that she had used many times and she was ashamed to use it now. But she could not help it, it hurt and she just wanted the pain to go away. She wished a lot of things to go away but the facts of her life were different from the reality of her situation.

“I am hurting you? You are hurting me. I cannot hold onto a man when you try to take him from me time and time again.”

“I promise that I will be good mother, just tell me how. What do I need to do?”

Emma mostly wore jeans and old battered sweaters or t-shirts. No matter how she curved what she said or did her mother always found fault, she always would. It was not her talking but the drugs. When her mother was off them she could be the most dotting and caring mother in the world. But those times were becoming less and less, and all Emma was trying to do was survive day to day. 

Elizabeth let go of Emma’s upper arm and pushed her into the wall grabbing and squeezing her throat. Emma head hit hard and her vision blurred. She focused on her breathing as her mother squeezed tighter and she laid her hands against the wall. Her mother was to strong, she could not fight her off.

Elizabeth let go of Emma’s throat, grabbed Emma by her shirt and pulled her away from the wall. She turned her around and pushed her further into the hallway. Emma did not fall and she regained her balance quickly with one hand instinctively going to her throat. She ran toward her mother and tried to get past her. She had to get to her room, she needed to get to safety. She ignored the pain in her head, arm and throat, she could take care of her wounds later. The same thought repeated over and over again in her head ‘get to your room, get to safety.’ 

She should have seen the shove as it connected to her chest, but she was focused on her open door. She was not looking at her mother or her movements. Emma staggered back several feet, and she caught the top railing of the stairs. She looked at her mother as she closed the few steps between them and shoved her again, “You fucking bitch, I told you to put on some clothes.” She tried to hold on, but her grip was not firm. She started to fall and she could not stop it.

She felt free of everything for a few moments as she flew downward. She tried to bring her arms up to cover her head, but she was not fast enough. Her lower back and butt took the majority of the first hit and her body registered intense pain. Her body turned to the left and she tried to grab onto anything. Her head hit the wall and step hard and her left leg caught between the railing. She felt a snap and all that she saw was the next step as it collided with her face and for a brief second before the darkness came she felt relieved because she did not feel the pain. And like with everything else in her life up to this moment she accepted it for what it was. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regina was startled awake by Emma, as she began thrashing in her arms. She shoved Regina and she grabbed the headboard to steady herself. She moved to the edge of the bed and stood up looking at Emma as she continued to thrash and scream, “No mother no.” She knew that Emma was having a night terror and she moved out of instinct toward her. She was stopped by Belle as she grabbed her and pulled her further away from the bed. Both women watched as Emma thrashing stopped as she pulled herself into a fetal position. 

“No,” Belle stated quietly as she moved toward the bed in two fast steps. “You cannot touch her when she is like this, she will hurt you.” Belle moved back to Regina’s side and put a hand on her upper arm, offering her comfort and to keep her from moving forward.

Regina did not know what to do. Emma shook, and her muttered words the only sounds that she registered. Regina wanted to do something, anything to help her. She needed to help her, she looked at Belle with pleading eyes.

“You have to wait for her to stop.” Belle cleared the sleep from her head and thought about how Regina could best help Emma. A recent party that Rumple and her attended came to mind. Somehow Regina name came up into the conservation and despite the people involved they all agreed on one thing. Regina was very talented and she had a very haunting singing voice. She looked at Regina, “wait, sing.”

“What?”

“Sing to her, it will calm her.”

Regina was quiet for a few seconds trying to process the request. She was too preoccupied by Emma’s state that she did not register Belle as she slowly moved Regina towards the bed. Regina sat down and scooted close to Emma keeping a safe distance just in case. Regina glanced back at Belle and she saw her unshed tears. The next words came out as a plea, “Sing.”

Regina nodded and started to sing the first song that popped into her head. 

‘Stars shining bright above you;  
Night breezes seem to whisper  
‘I love you.’  
Birds singing in the sycamore tree.  
Dream a little dream of me.’

‘Say nighty-night and kiss me;  
Just hold me tight and tell me  
you’ll miss me.  
While I’m alone and blue as can be,   
Dream a little dream of me.’

Emma muttering stopped, and she slowly started to untangle herself. Regina got on the bed and grabbed the rumpled covers and quickly closed the distance. She pulled the covers up to their waists and touched the blond lightly. Emma tensed at first, but she seemed to recognize Regina’s presence and started to pull Regina in. Emma snuggled into Regina as she continued to sing to her rocking her lightly.

‘Stars fading but I linger on, dear-  
Still craving your kiss.  
I’m longing to linger till dawn, dear-  
Just saying this…’

‘Sweet dreams till sunbeams find  
you-  
Sweet dreams that leave all worries  
behind you.  
But in your dreams, whatever they  
be,  
Dream a little dream of me.’

Regina felt the tears, but she did not attempt to move the blond to wipe them. She continued to rock and hold her as close as Emma would allow her. She tried to show Emma that despite what her mind was showing her that she was here. Regina will stay with her for as long as she wanted her to be there.

‘Stars fading but I linger on dear-  
Still craving your kiss.  
I’m longing to linger till dawn dear-  
Just saying this…’

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find  
you-  
Sweet dreams that leave all worries  
far behind you.  
But in your dreams, whatever they be,  
Dream a little dream of me.’

Regina hummed the rest of the song as she continued to rock the blond. Emma dream had left her, but she still wanted to keep her close. She wanted to take the pain away, but she knew that she would not change her past despite her hardships. She did not know if she would be here holding Emma now and that was the most heartbreaking thought of all.

“That is why she did not want to take the pain killers. They put her too far under.”

“How long?”

“Since I found her in the hospital, she was in Stroybrooke at the time. She was thirteen. She was in a coma for three months, but she needed the rest for what was to come.”

“Is this not the point where you tell me that this is Emma’s story to tell?”

“I should but I will give you the cliff notes version. Her mother pushed her down the stairs. She fractured her hip and dislocated three disks in her back. She has pins in her hip and she has had four surgeries to try to fix the damage. She hit her head hard and it caused her brain to swell. She still gets bad migraines and the occasional nose bleed. That was why they did all the tests when you took her to the hospital, they wanted to make sure that she was okay. Mary is many things, but she is through.”

Regina nodded at Belle and looked at Emma’s face. She noticed that Belle was grabbing a few things and sticking them in a bag. “Where are you going?”

“I have given you all the rest of instructions to the Manuel that is Emma Swan. I know what will happen when she wakes up and that is why I need to leave.” Regina raised an eyebrow at her as Belle smiled and moved to Regina, kissing her on the forehead. “You do not need to be concerned. As I told you before hetro-life mates.” Belle’s looked Regina in the eyes raising to her challenge, “But if you hurt her than I will end you, understand.”

Regina rolled her eyes and looked away from Belle. She scooted until she got into a comfortable position to sleep, pulling the covers up over both of them. She could not immediately go back to sleep however. Too many thought moved through her mind. 

A small part of Regina was upset over Belle’s and Emma’s previous relationship. The irrational part disliked the idea of Belle intimately touching Emma in any form. But the rational part of Regina knew that Belle was there for Emma in a time when she needed somebody. They both had tangled pasts and despite all that she was finding out about Emma she accepted them as well as the person that she became because of those actions. She knew that Emma accepted Regina past and who she was as well. Emma shame surrounding her past prevented her from sharing it with Regina and vice-versa.

Regina tried to figure out how to talk about her past on many occasions with Emma but her words failed her. Emma always leaned in, smiled and squeezed her hands. Sometimes she pulled her up hugging her, her hand making small circles on her back. Emma was learning to communicate to Regina in her language and she was slowly trying the speak the language of her conundrum. 

Regina wondered if it would have made a difference if Emma had told her about the end of her relationship with Lily. Ruby had told her over drinks one time that Emma always made the first move and Regina surmised that because Emma had not done so with her that Emma was still attached. But there was an intimacy that was slowly building between the two of them. There were several times that she could sense that Emma wanted to tell her something important but she glanced down and slumped her shoulders unable to find her words. Regina’s words from the hospital rang true, “they both needed time.”

Emma had chosen to be with her now. She had not meant to make the first move but she saw Emma in pain. She used Lily as her rationalization but she forgot about that as she moved toward Emma to offer support and comfort. She did not think about the consequences when she finally showed Emma her feeling and what she had been craving for months. Emma’s lips, her touch and the feel of her against her.

She moved her line of thought to something more neutral. She saw the angry mark on her head that will always be a part of Emma now. She wished that it was healed so that she could slowly run her…ugh she shook her head and pulled Emma closer. Emma had many scars that she had seen earlier but now she had one more. And if she had communicated to Emma before tonight than she would not have her injury now. Her desire moved toward anger as she thought about Lily. She welcomed the different kind of heat that now consumed her body. She wanted to hurt Lily, she wanted to destroy her. She wanted Lily to understand that she will not hurt Emma anymore. A sadness came over her, they had so many things to discuss. So many things that needed to be said but she did not know if she could do it. She would fuck this up, she always did.

Regina felt a hand move to her neck and make slow circles. She could not suppress the shiver that moved down her back, warming her body from the inside out. The hand gently moved her head down onto her pillow, “Sleep, my love. Dream a little dream of me.” The voice was laced with sleep and the husky voice did not make Regina think of sleep. Emma chuckled and kissed her shoulder, “We have tomorrow for that, sleep now, rest.” Regina let herself relax and closed her eyes. She finally let sleep consume her only partly due to exhaustion. The other part was due to the calming effect that Emma voice had on her as she hummed the very song that Regina had sang to her.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

Her warmth was gone and a pillow replaced her hold. She opened her eyes and a stuffed animal stared back at her. She lightly growled and she heard Emma laugh near her ear. One of Emma’s arm was draped over her middle and the other snaked under Regina’s neck, pulling their bodies close. Emma was still wearing her night clothes but she could feel Emma’s breasts against her back. She loved the feeling of it all and she relaxed into Emma’s hold. Emma put her head back down on the pillow causing her body and nipples to move down Regina’s back. 

“Tease,” Regina slept laced voice filled the quiet of the room. Emma laughed again and tried to pull her closer still, nuzzling into the back of Regina’s neck. Her breathing and words ticked the area. “You sang to me, I have never heard you sing before. You have a voice like a nightingale.”

Regina blushed and she buried her head into the pillow to cover it. Emma moved her hair and started to place light kisses on the now exposed neck. Her hand moved onto her belly and made small circles covering more ground as her hand splayed out. She stopped her movement and her exploration of both areas. 

“I’m sorry I should ask before I did that.” She pulled back her head and attempted to pull away to put some distance between the two. Regina grabbed Emma’s hand halting her movement. 

“You are speaking my language, why stop?”

“I…” and Emma was at a loss for words. Regina did not turn around and she started to talk. She could not face her, she shut out her conditioning and breathed out, “This is not to soon, not unless you think so?’ Her voice held a slight vulnerability to it. Despite everything that had happened she was still unsure.

“I was thinking the same thing, definitely not too soon.” and the mirth in her voice calmed Regina.

Regina chuckled and she was unaware of her hand moving up and down Emma’s arm. When she noticed she did not stop, she never wanted to. She was in the moment and she was afraid that another moment would not happen between the two. She wanted to take what she could, she wanted to feel as much as she could. 

“Are you sure?” and Regina heard the doubt in Emma’s voice. Regina answer was to move her body down briefly before moving it back up moaning as she felt Emma’s reaction to her move. Emma moved Regina’s shirt up and sighed as she felt her skin. She moved her hand down to her top of her shorts and moved her hand back and forth, her touch becoming more instinct. She pulled the skin on the back of her neck into her mouth and released it, “you smell so good.”

She stopped the attention on her neck and moved her other hand up to Regina’s face, “Open.” Regina opened her eyes and a small white mint was close to her face. 

“You planned this,” and the statement made Emma bite Regina’s neck in response before releasing it. 

“I could not do anything with you without tasting your lips… but bad breath and all.” Regina heard the slight catch in the back of her throat before clearing it.

“Are you saying that I have bad breath?” and before Emma gave her answer she moved her hand lower, slowly teasing Regina through her shorts. 

“Everybody has bad breath in the morning, now open your mouth, “and a dramatic pause was put at the end of Emma’s request, “please?”

Regina opened her mouth and tried to suck the mint but she found it difficult with Emma’s not so gently teasing. Emma stopped and Regina finished her mint, “ugh, that was the most, oh fuck.” Emma moved back to her neck as she moved her shirt up further in one flush movement palming one breast and then another. Once her shirt was bunched up to her arms, Regina moved her upper body allowing the garment to be moved.

Regina arm went behind her body trying to grab Emma head to pull her around. Emma ignored her request and slowly lick down her spine biting occasionally. Regina’s words came out through clenched teeth, “I want to feel you.”

“Patience love,” and her hand moved up to held her in place between her breasts. But soon the ignored mounds were given the attention that they so craved. Emma reached Regina’s ass and bit down on one check and then the other through the shorts. She inched her teeth to the hem of the short and stopped her movements silently asking for permission to continue. She did not want to do anything that Regina did not want her to do. 

“If you do not continue, I will come down there and show you exactly what I have wanted to do to you.” Regina voice rasped out through clenched teeth.

Emma grabbed the hem of her shorts and started to pull them down. Regina lowered one of her hands assisting Emma and intertwining their fingers in the process. Emma half sighed as her comment of, “really, no underwear,” made Regina smile. Emma nudged her hip with her nose before kissing her way sideways encouraging Regina to lie down on her back. Emma kissed their intertwined hands before moving them down between Regina’s legs. They both worked up a rhythm as Emma slowly teased her with her tongue making slow circles before entering her. Regina moved into the movements and Emma took her other hand holding Regina’s left leg down. Their hands moved in time with Emma’s tongue and when Emma felt Regina’s body start to tense her hand let go of Regina’s hip and fingers replaced her tongue. As her thumb moved to stroke her, Emma moved their intertwined hands to the side of them and moved up connecting their lips. The kiss was bruising as tongues and teeth grabbed, pulled and explored as much as they could. 

Both of their bodies tensed and they let the feeling overtake them, mouths stopping their sounds that attempted to flow forth from them both. Emma slowly rose off of Regina never breaking eye contact. A shy smile escaped her lips as Regina realized two things. She had not even touched Emma as she came with her and she still was fully dressed. The first part made her smile. The fully dressed part bugged her because she needed to lick and bite every bit of skin and scar that she saw last night. 

She pulled their hands apart and pulled Emma onto one of her thighs taking the weight. She made quick work of removing Emma’s shirt taking in the sight before her that she only saw briefly last night. She reached for her sleep shorts and removed Emma’s hand as she tried to cover the very visible mark of their intimacy. A smile from Regina made Emma relax and she moved forward to her knees as Regina used both hands as she started to pull down the shorts.

Now, two things happened at once. Emma left knee did not meet the end of the bed as she attended to do and she felt Regina pulled down the shorts just enough to snake a hand between her legs. Emma felt Regina’s touch first and then air as she lost her balance and fell off the bed. Regina saw the movement and pulled her hand out and turned with Emma, trying in vain to grab her as she tumbled onto the floor.

Regina looked at Emma shaking on the floor with one hand on her head and the other on her hip. Her fear was forgotten by the sounds that soon followed the shaking of Emma’s body. Tears fell down her face as she laughed, hard. After a few deep breathes she calmed and glanced up at Regina with an amused look on her face.

Regina looked at Emma with a smile on her face and a raised eyebrow. Neither woman said anything at first but Emma broke the silence soon after, “Yep, never boring.” Regina shook her head, got off the bed and helped Emma up. She checked her head and after a small nod pulled Emma toward the bathroom. They both needed a shower and she was not done communicating with Emma. Besides she had many scars to lick and bite, as well as all of the areas around them. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Regina saw the fist as it came toward her and she stepped back, grabbed Lily’s arm and pushed her away. Lily came at her again with a sloppy right hand and Regina stepped to the side raised her clenched fist in response and let it flew. A crash and a movement to her left caught her attention and her fist connected with the blonde as she ran between the two women. Emma fell backwards taking Lily with her and Belle and Ruby moved on either side of Regina, gently grabbing her arms and pulling her further back from the two women.

Regina’s ears roared, and her vision was narrowed on Lily’s hunched form. Her fists were still clinched as she assessed the situation. She heard noise around her as the roaring in her ears subsided. It sounded like rain at first, but her brain slowly recognized the sound. She glanced around at the crew and a few of the cast members, and they were all clapping. Leroy voice was heard over all the commotion. “Yeah, put that one in. Let them give each other hell.” 

A loud whistle from her left startled her and she looked to see Ruby as she followed up her whistle with, “Clear the fucking set and if I hear one more comment you will be collecting unemployment.” The crew walked away muttering to each other in small groups. 

Two of the crew members walked up to Lily and Emma and offered them each woman a hand. Emma accepted it and muttered her thanks. They helped Lily up and she stormed away from the set. Ruby went from Regina’s side to Emma’s, “Jefferson,” Emma spoke, and Ruby shook her head. She walked away from Emma and followed Jefferson as he now followed Lily. 

Emma turned and looked at Regina. She saw the anger in her eyes but as Regina looked at Emma’s face it turned to regret. ‘shit what have I done?’ Emma walked toward Regina, she grabbed her hands and inspected them, turning them over for any damage. “Well, many have told me that I have a hard head, but it seems as if you have a harder punch. Next time I want to get into a bar brawl you are my wing man.” 

Regina did the same looking at the damage that she had done. She merely clipped her in the jaw, but she saw a small bruise forming already. She tenderly stroked the bruise and looked Emma in the eye. There were many emotions flowing through both of their eyes.

Belle cleared her throat, “Damn it Em, you broke another one.” All three women looked toward the camera that had been pushed over in Emma’s haste to stop the two women from fighting. “Well Belle, do you think I can pass this one off as a water accident.” Belle thought about this for a moment, looked at Emma and they both laughed.

Emma grabbed Regina’s hands and put them down by her side. “You do not have to worry Gina, no real damage done.” Regina started to respond but one of Emma’s fingers on her lips stopped her. “She would have pressed charges besides now you get to help us drop a camera in water. It should be fun, come on.”

Regina stepped back and narrowed her eyes at Emma. She had hit her, she had hurt her. “What about your face?” 

Emma looked at Belle as she produced and small compact mirror. Emma opened the compact, looked at the bruise and shrugged her shoulders. She closed and pasted the mirror back to Belle, “It will fade soon besides I have had worse. And I know that you would never hurt me,” she paused, and smirked at the women. “Not unless I ask you to that is.” Images flashed through Regina’s head of teeth and red marks on white skin. She glanced up at Emma’s slight smirk and returned the smile. 

Belle cleared her throat again and Emma glanced at her. “Nasty cold you seem to be getting their girl.” Emma smirked at Belle and grabbed Regina’s hands giving them a light squeeze. “Come on, I was serious about the camera, Gold will kill me if he finds out that I have destroyed another one.”

Emma started to walked from the set pulling Regina with her. She knew Emma well enough to know that she used humor to deflect what had just happened. She sighed and just went with the situation. “But he will figure it out,” Regina stated the obvious.

“You leave that to me,” Belle answered. “Besides he built money into the budget for several new cameras, Emma has two more before she really gets into trouble.” Regina shook her head and continued to be pulled by Emma to the now broken camera.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dream A Little Dream of Me," Song and lyrics belong to The Mamas and the Papas and any and all entities associated with them. I burrowed them without permission.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many humbled thanks for anyone who has read, kudosed and commented.
> 
> Disclaimers from chapter 1 apply.

Chapter 15

Emma laid in her arms lightly dozing. The soft snore made Regina smile as she just watched her sleep. She looked calm but Regina keep a close vigilance on her facial features. She wanted to chase any bad memories that could pray on Emma’s vulnerable state. She lowered her head and inhaled Emma scent. A slight smell of lavender and vanilla filled her senses and she smiled to herself. She would now associate that particular smell to her conundrum.

Emma had called her love several times but that in itself did not bother her. What bothered her was the fact that she just accepted it, that she believed it. The fear that usually was associated with that word held no meaning when it came to Emma. She told her without expecting anything in return. Emma only wanted from Regina what she was willing to give her, show her. Others in the past demanded a price for her affection, her love. She had loved before but this was different, this was scary. She held unto this moment, this small passage in time. It will fade, it will pass. Was it worth it in the end? She pushed that thought away, she did not want to think about that. But the more she did try not think about it, the more she did. 

She closed her eyes and started to relax. She was not tired she just wanted to relish the morning. She opened her eyes and glanced at the clock, okay early evening. She snuggled back into Emma and tried to burn every moment that they had shared so far into her memory.

The water as it ran down Emma’s body and the careful washing to clean every nock and cranny. The sounds that she pulled from the blond as she took in her mouth shaven lips. If Emma took the effort to do that well than…who was she to neglect it. The scars and god there had been so many. When Emma broke down at her exploration, Regina kissed her tears and when Emma gently pushed her up against the shower wall and took control she let her. She found out that Emma did in fact speak her language but she saw a slight doubt in herself in how she expressed and accepted it. She saw this as well when Emma talked to her. Her responses could be filtered, controlled and guarded. 

She caught glimpses of where Emma would start to let go. But soon she felt a wall come up between them. Emma would than focus on Regina and although she was there with Regina her pleasure was put first. Emma was a giver, and a part of Regina loved this about her. She knew that she had to give Emma time to trust her, to trust herself. She accepted it now but she wanted to pick apart the wall. She would wait for Emma to let her in, for she knew what she saw in Emma’s eyes when she looked into them. THIS. 

She nuzzled Emma’s neck and she felt her stir. Emma stretched out her body from her current position and leaned into Regina’s attention, “I think that you do not want me to sleep?” 

Regina hummed and molded her body to fit Emma’s new position, “Whatever gave you that idea?”

Regina felt Emma’s hand as she lightly touched the back of her hand. Regina laughed as she moved the fingers that were feeling between Emma’s legs slowly moving, feeling bare skin. “I was not aware that I was doing that.” She was lying however and Emma knew it. Emma had told her that her superpower was telling when people told her lies. But Regina sensed that Emma could read someone’s body language. Another lesson learned the hard way.

“I am not complaining, just observing.” Regina stopped her exploration and just cupped her, holding her. Emma started to turn over to face Regina. Regina’s hand never relented and moved with Emma and adapted to her current position. Emma leaned forward and lightly kissed her and pulled back looking Regina into her eyes. He faced scrunched in contraction and the face alone made Regina laugh.

“I love your laugh, you should do it more often.”

“I have never had any real reason to lately.” Regina told her with a slight vulnerability in her voice.

Emma glanced down briefly and then looked back up, “Than I truly feel very lucky indeed my lady.” Regina smiled and she knew what Emma was doing. They were moving toward murky waters but Emma verbalized her affirmation to Regina indirectly. “I will make it my mission from now on to make sure that I get you to laugh as much as possible.” Regina believed the words and Emma’s vow to her. She was surprised, yet again, that she did not feel uncomfortable with the way that it made her feel. Emma was absently touching a small scar on her lip. 

“What are you looking for,” and Regina tried to make light of the attention but failed. Emma nuzzled into Regina’s shoulder and although her words were slightly muffled, they rang true. “I carry my scars on the outside, in the open. I try to hide them but everyone sees them. I do not ask them if they accept them because a part of me is afraid of the answer.” Emma paused and cleared her throat and Regina lightly scratched her back, encouraging her to continue. 

“Your scars run inside, you can present yourself like most others do to the world. If they feel the same way they choose when and where they can reveal that part of themselves. All accept for this,” and Emma touched Regina small scar right above her lip. She traced it back and forth. Emma had given her scar as much attention that she felt Regina was comfortable with and Emma told her after a while that she needed to check for any more imperfections. 

Regina tensed at this and Emma realized what she had said. She stopped her exploration and pulled Regina’s face down looking her in the eyes. “I…see foot on mouth. I did not mean it that way. If you can just let me explain than I can…”

Regina moved both her hands to Emma’s face and leaned in lightly, kissing Emma on her forehead. Emma got the message and relaxed her tense body and resumed her exploration of Regina’s face. She was attempting to put light kisses on every ounce of her skin when Regina broke her contraction.

“Emma I…” Emma shook her head at Regina’s half answer. Emma understood that Regina would tell her when she was ready. THIS step in their relationship was still new. Regina gave Emma a sly smile and a light laugh before leaning in capturing soft lips. Regina pulled Emma close and ran her hands up and down Emma’s side and back slowly. A soft sigh that was breathed into her mouth gave her the motivation to move a thigh between Emma’s legs before deepening her kiss. 

“Regina…” Emma said through clenched teeth as Regina slowly moved down kissing every inch of skin that presented itself to her.

“Um… did you say something dear.” Emma’s soft sigh turned into a light moan and she tried to pull Regina back up to hungry lips.

Regina laughed into Emma’s stomach once before lifting her head up, “Patience love.” Emma growled but soon Regina bite her inner thigh before looking back to meet Emma’s eyes. Emma looked back at her with uncertainty in her eyes. Regina reached up and intertwined one of her hands with Emma’s squeezing lightly. 

She placed her chin on her abdomen searching Emma’s eyes, waiting. Emma’s other hand moved into Regina’s hair, lightly scratching before tracing Regina’s face. Regina said nothing as Emma focused on her moving fingers. When she met Regina’s eyes she saw doubt with a touch of uncertainly. Regina started to sit up but Emma shock her head and gently pushed her shoulder down.

“You sure…?” Regina asked in a whisper. Emma nodded once and Regina moved slowly down keeping eye contact and committing to memory the look in Emma’s eyes as she saw the doubt and uncertainly leaving her eyes replaced with vulnerability with just a hint of trust. One crack in the wall, she could accept that. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They kept work separate from their relationship for the next three days. Emma instilled into the cast and crew from the first day of shooting that this was a work environment. All gossip, true or otherwise was to be keep off the set. If they were talking about them and she was sure that they were, then Ruby would put a stop to it if she heard it. 

Belle moved into another room and gave them the space that they needed. Besides their second hurdle was just around the corner. They held onto the present and treated every day as if it was their last moments together. Regina knew that she would have to leave soon and, on many occasions, she tried to approach Emma to talk about it. Emma had said the same thing over and over, ‘Can we just focus on the now.’

She did and their nights were filled with holding each other as they fell asleep in each other’s arms and waking every morning, looking at the day as fresh and new. Emma told her last night that they had ‘all the time in the world and none at all.’ She tried to say it in a light tone but Regina heard the uncertainty in the statement. 

Regina started to dose off for the night when Emma voice whispered into her ear, “Your scene with Lily is tomorrow, are you ready for it?”

“I have been ready for it since she hurt you, it will play well.” Regina tried to make her voice indifferent but Emma noticed the icy undertone in the statement. She chuckled and pulled Regina closer pulling her skin behind her ear into her mouth.

“I wanted to give you some time to cool off but maybe that was not such a good idea.” Emma stated with a slight frown on her face after she released said skin.

“Well, I do want to hurt her but I do not think that time would lesson what I truly feel toward her.” Emma heard the anger in her voice.

“And what is that?” Emma voice held genuine interest as she tried to keep the conservation light. Besides, she truly did not know where Regina was going to go with this particular subject. But a part of her was curious as to the depth of her anger and where it was directed. 

“A part of me want to rip her heart out and crush it in front of her. I want to see her eyes dim as her life fade.” She paused and pushed the anger down, cuddled into her new favorite blanket and sighed. “Another part of me wants to go up to thank her. To thank for letting go of such a pure, true heart. I hold onto the very thing that she will never have again.”

Regina felt the vibration of the slight chuckle from Emma between her ear and jaw. She was suddenly not tired and she wanted to feel Emma again as they fell into their now familiar dance that seemed to always involve tangled limbs and muffled screams. “That would be priceless,” Emma stated once as she moved her head slightly away from Regina’s body. “But I am far from pure.”

Regina tried to turn her head to look at Emma and look her in the eye. She had to look her in the eyes, she had to verbalize this very thing, she had to tell her. “Em look at me, please.”

“I love it when you beg,” and Emma slowly moved her hand down to her stomach, making small light circles as she did so. Regina let it go, she knew that if she pushed too much on this subject of how she truly saw Emma that she would pull away from her. And that was the last thing that she wanted to do. With so little time left between them before the shoot ended she approached the other topic of conservation.

“Will you come back to New York with me?” Regina asked lowering her eyes in the process. She could not meet her eyes, she was afraid of the answer.

Emma raised her head at the question, supporting the move by her arm and hand. She was smirking, “are you asking me to U-Haul with you?”

Regina was at a loss for words. She said what she wanted to ask her but it came out wrong. She knew that she did not see her pent house as home. She saw her home with Emma in her penthouse but a part of her was not ready for such a step so soon. She did not want to rush this. “No…” and Regina scrunched up her face and pinched her nose in frustration, letting out a sigh. 

Damn Emma Swan and her form of communication. What I meant was…” and a finger was pressed against her lips lightly.

“What you meant was that you want me to come to New York to visit. You want to show me New York the way you see it. Right…?” Regina gave Emma a weak smile at her interruption of her miscommunication. 

Regina felt something the first night she meets Emma. A flutter in her heart like it recognized something that her brain could not process. “I just want you near.” She was verbalizing, very badly in her book, her vulnerability and doubt involving Emma and herself.

Emma smiled at that, “I have to go Boston to work on the presentation for the pitch for that television show that I was telling you right after the shoot. Plus, I have to edit and finalize the movie. Maybe we can figure out some way to spend time with each other in between?” Regina heard the hopeful tone in her voice. It was nice to know that Emma wanted the same thing that she did. 

Regina pulled Emma as close as she could and said nothing. She remembered Emma telling her this but with so much happening so fast she forget about Emma’s next project. “But I do have some… conditions.”

“You are a fucking challenge Emma Swan.” Emma smirked at that and Regina tried to kiss the smirk off her face. 

A laugh escaped Emma’s lips as Regina moved to Emma’s neck, “I am a challenge than?” Emma voice came out a breathless hiss as Regina pulled Emma’s earlobe into her mouth, lightly biting. 

Regina moved down her body and pulled a nipple into her mouth before using the flat of her tongue rubbing around the tip. “No, you are my lady, my love, my conundrum, my blanket, and my new favorite thing to eat.” Regina glanced up from her current hold on her breast to see Emma checks flush a deep red. She moved up from her breast to her face looking into her eyes. “I love it when you blush, you should do it more often.”

“I have never had any reason to lately.” Emma breathed out as her body arched into Regina’s touch.

“Then I am truly lucky indeed my lady. I will make it my mission,” and a hand moved down and parted Emma’s lips before lightly making small circles on her clit. “To make you blush,” Emma gave a slight grown at Regina’s handiwork, “as much as possible.”

Regina proceeded to lick a small scar under Emma’s breast. “Besides everything has a price,” before pulling it into her mouth. She had explored Emma and she knew which scars were the most sensitive and this scar was very sensitive. She let go of the skin with a pop and looked up at Emma for the final time before she continued. “But for you, I am willing to pay it.” 

She pulled the small scar into her mouth again and increased her speed. Regina’s could tell by Emma’s slight trembling body that she was close. She wondered briefly before focusing on the task at hand what that condition was. She shrugged lightly and applied more pressure, she will figure it out in the morning.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

“Oh, and you think that you are so special. Who has been here every day for eleven years, ELEVEN fucking years, I have. Do you know in that time that he has not one bed sore, not one? And what do tell, DEAR sister what have you done?” Venom spewed from Lily’s mouth as she delivered her scripted line.

“Oh, what have I done. Who put you into rehab, who paid for all your medical schooling to take care of OUR father. Who pays for this house and every bill for it? You think that just because you have done the grunt work that you deserve a metal. Let me grab one of those for you. We should have a metal vase that should fit across you head quite nicely.” Regina rose to the challenge in Lily’s voice and body language. 

“Are you threatening me?” Lily asked in an amused tone, mocking Regina.

Regina steps closer to Lily and they stared at each other. She had her fists clenched when the next words flowed from her mouth. “I do not threaten, that is a waste of my precious time besides why would I warn you when I can have the satisfaction off seeing the look on your face and the fear in your eyes as I do it.” She said the last with a finger pointed in her face.

“Girls, girls, stop this, please!” Their on-screen mother pleaded.

In the script Lily and Regina were supposed to step back from each other and face her. She was supposed to deliver her calming words about how they were family. Then Lily and Regina were supposed to look at each other and walk further away from each other. They both loved their on-screen mother enough that they would stop this and fight another day. But that is not what happened.

Regina saw Lily’s fist as it came toward her and she stepped back, grabbed Lily’s arm at the wrist and elbow and pushed her away. Her father had taught her how to defend herself and their many sparing matches were some of her fondest memories of him. Regina sent him a silent prayer before focusing on her current threat. 

Lily came at her again with a sloppy right hand and Regina stepped to the side, raised her clenched fist in response and let it flew. A crash and a movement to her left caught her attention as her fist connected with Emma as she threw herself between the two women. Emma fell straight back taking Lily with her. Belle and Ruby moved on either side of Regina, gently grabbing her arms, and pulled her back away from Lily.

Regina’s ears roared, and her vision was narrowed on Lily’s hunched form. Her fists were still clinched as she assessed the situation. She heard noise around her as the roaring in her ears subsided. It sounded like rain at first, but her brain slowly recognized the sound. She glanced around at the cast and crew and they were all clapping. Leroy voice was heard over all the commotion. “Yeah, put that one in. Let them give each other hell.” 

A loud whistle from her left startled her and she looked to see Ruby as she followed up her whistle with, “Clear the fucking set and if I hear one more comment you will be collecting unemployment.” The crew walked away muttering to each other in small groups. 

Two of the crew members walked up to Lily and Emma and offered them each woman a hand. Emma accepted it and muttered her thanks. They helped Lily up and she stormed away from the set. Ruby went from Regina’s side to Emma’s, “Jefferson,” Emma spoke, and Ruby nodded to her. She walked away from Emma and followed Jefferson as he now followed Lily. 

Emma turned and looked at Regina. She saw the anger in her eyes but as Regina looked at Emma’s face it turned to regret. ‘shit what have I done?’ 

Emma walked toward Regina and she grabbed her hands over inspecting them for any damage. “Well, many have told me that I have a hard head, but it seems as if you have a harder punch. Next time I want to get into a bar brawl you are my wing man.” 

Regina did the same looking at the damage that she had done. She merely clipped her in the jaw, but she saw a small bruise forming already. She tenderly stroked the bruise and looked Emma in the eye. There were many emotions flowing through both of their eyes.

Belle cleared her throat, “Damn it Em, you broke another one.” All three women looked toward the camera that had been pushed over in Emma’s haste to stop the two women from fighting. 

“Well Belle, do you think I can pass this one off as a water accident.” Belle thought about this for a moment, looked at Emma and they both laughed.

Emma grabbed Regina’s hands and put them down by her side. “You do not have to worry love, no real damage done.” Regina started to respond but one of Emma’s fingers on her lips stopped her. “She would have pressed charges and you can kiss it better later. Besides now you get to help us drop a camera in water. It should be fun, come on.”

Regina stepped back and narrowed her eyes at Emma. She had hit her, she had hurt her. “What about your face?” 

Emma looked at Belle as she produced and small compact mirror. Emma opened the compact, looked at the bruise and shrugged her shoulders. She closed and pasted the mirror back to Belle, “It will fade soon besides I have had worse. And I know that you would never hurt me,” she paused, and smirked at Regina. “Not unless I ask you to that is.” She glanced up at Emma’s slight smirk and returned the smile with a weak one of her own. Her humor could not fix this situation, not in Regina’s eyes. 

Belle cleared her throat again and Emma glanced at her once before meeting Regina’s eyes, never breaking eye contact. Their silent conservation conveyed Emma message to her. Regina gave her a slight nod of her head and Emma grabbed her hands, offering a smile in response.

“Nasty cold you seem to be getting their girl.” Emma responded as she smirked at Belle, turning her attention from Regina.

“Come on G, I was serious about the camera, Gold will kill me if he finds out that I have destroyed another one.” Emma started to walk backwards from the set pulling Regina with her. She saw Emma’s concern and Regina just sighed giving Emma her stoic face. 

“But he will figure it out,” Regina stated in her professional voice. 

“You leave that to me,” Belle answered. “Besides he built money into the budget for several new cameras, Emma has two more before she really gets into trouble.” Regina shook her head and continued to be pulled by Emma to the now broken camera.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


	8. chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many humbled thanks to those who have read, kudosed and commented.
> 
> Disclaimers from chapter 1 apply.

Chapter 8

Emma lightly hummed a song and Regina recognized the tune immediately. “I would have to say that song is one of my favorites. Why did you sing to me?” Emma brought Regina back to their room after they dumped the camera in some water, talked about the fight and grabbed some lunch. Emma managed to get a little bit of food into her but she knew Regina. She needed some time away from prying eyes. 

“Belle told me to and I just went with my gut. I saw you having a bad dream and I wanted you to dream of me instead. All in all, it was a very selfish move on my part.” Emma snuggled into Regina offering her comfort.

“And why is that?” Emma asked, humor in her voice.

“I dreamed of you after the first night that we meet. The gala, well I wanted to drag you somewhere and just…”

“Just…” and Emma looked down at the top of Regina’s head. The question hung in the air and Emma waited for her answer. After a few minutes Emma moved down and kissed her forehead and meet Regina’s eyes. “Tell me,” and Regina saw the twinkle in her eyes.

Regina sighed and laid on her back, feeling Emma as she pulled their naked bodies together adjusting their position. Regina loved the fact that Emma was so cuddly. She held onto Regina whenever she could and a part of her knew that she was trying to show her in her language that Emma cherished her. She had protested many times over the last couple of weeks but a part of her knew that Emma saw through that. She enjoyed the attention and the feeling of her conundrum next to her. 

“Well…” and Regina cleared her throat before continuing. “I had a nice bottle of bourbon and a fantastic view. I watched you work the room as if you were born to it. I watched you as you drank and I saw the sadness in your eyes when you meet mine. I wanted to take that away, I wanted to make you smile. I wanted to take your pain away. I wanted to feel you and hold you in my arms. I do not know once I got you to the room if I would sleep with you but that was not my intention, well not my only attention.” Regina said the last with humor in her voice. As if she was laughing at herself at her own expense.

Emma chuckled, “Not your only attention?”

Regina glared at Emma briefly before pulling the covers up over both of them. “What about you my love?”

“I would not have offered to come up to your room the first night if I did not mean it. But a part of me knew that if I did that I would cheat on Lily and you deserved better than that. I have been in the position over the years to cheat but I never have. You are the only one that truly challenged my resolve. I knew that if I slept with you that I would want more than one night. Call it what you will but…” Emma sighed and lowered her head, “it was better that we waited.” 

Regina hummed in response and started to close her eyes trying to pull Emma closer. Emma sat up so fast and looked down at Regina, panic in her eyes. “Arm candy!”

“What?” The change in topic was so fast that Regina did not know how to react.

“Eye candy, Graham. Your current distraction from your current situation.” Regina sat up on her elbows and scrunched her face in confusion. “I never asked, shit Regina, did you…are you…are we?” Regina saw Emma’s face crumble and she sat up completely and looked at Emma as she pulled away from her and tried to stand up from the bed kicking the covers out of her way.

“Emma,” and Regina grabbed Emma hand and as she tried to pull away. 

“What is he to you, Regina? I ever even thought to ask you about it. Everyone else on set had their family visit. He never came, I forget about him.” Emma voice came out in a defeated whisper as she looked down at the bed. She was unable to look Regina in the eye. “Maybe I wanted to forget about him, maybe I…” Regina moved forward and pulled Emma to her, maneuvering Emma into her lap. Regina buried her face into her neck. One hand moved to the back of her neck and the other to her hip, gently holding her. She smiled when she felt Emma relax into the embrace, interlocking her legs behind Regina. 

“He is…” and Regina paused considering her response as she laid her ear near Emma’s heart. She just went with the truth on the matter, Emma deserved nothing less. “When Leopold died he offered comfort but we never cared for each other. My mother had certain expectations from me, I had to appear a certain way. I had to have someone at my side for functions. He became a confident and a friend of sorts. We are…” and Regina did not know what else to tell Emma because Graham and herself had never put any labels on what they were, or not.

Emma nodded at her once, accepting her answer and did not press any more. Regina thought briefly if she did not want any more information on the matter and she did not want to think about it anymore. She saw her love breathe out a sigh of relief and she gave Regina a small smile but it did not reach her eyes. “You hungry?”

Regina leaned in and kissed her collarbone and focused on the here and now. With no lunch she was hungry, she needed the energy. “Steak medium well, baked potato with butter and sour cream and a small Caesar salad. And a chocolate turnover with ice cream.” Emma eyebrows shot up at her answer but she did not question her on her choice. Besides with Emma in her current position, her dessert could be used for other things.

With a nod of her head Emma grabbed her phone and placed the order. Regina chuckled when Emma ordered almost the same thing except with French fries and a baked apple streusel. She wondered how apple would also taste on Emma… man she was gone.

Emma placed the phone down and she tried to get up, however Regina tightened her hold and held her in place. “I have to at least get dressed, light a candle or something.” She sounded amused.

“You so do not have to wine and dine me Miss Swan, you already have me in your bed.” Regina did not want Emma to move. Having Emma in her arms were the only thing in her life that felt right.

“Well… technically it is your bed but I picked up some apple scented candles that I thought we might try out.”

“And where do you want me to try them?” Emma confused face passed and she threw her head back and laughed. She regained her composure after a few minutes and Regina smiled at the light twinkle that she now saw in Emma’s eyes. 

Emma stretched and started to untangle herself from Regina, moving to the end of the bed, standing up. “I figured that you will like the smell of them but if you want to use them later at least give me a little bit of time to recover.” She leaned in for a quick kiss, “And a chance to replenish my energy first, Gatorade only goes so far.”

She sobered and looked Regina in the eyes bringing her back to their original conservation. “What else did Belle tell you?” 

Regina sighed and she kept her answer short, she did not want to undo what she had done. “Your mom, stairs and,” she cleared her throat unable to continue.

“I will tell you the full story someday, just give me time.” She smirked and looked at Regina with a glint in her eyes. “I am glad that she told you though, the no underwear thing was,” and she leaned down and kissed Regina hard pulling her up. They both broke apart when they had trouble drawing in breath. 

“So am I.” Regina smile to Emma was a genuine one.

“You have to clear the air between you two, you know?” You can not let that wound fester.” Regina nodded her head and sighed softly.

“Telling me what to do again Miss Swan?” The question did not hold the humor that she tried to interject into it.

“No, just requesting Miss Mills,” and Emma pulled her up into her arms moving her head into her neck. She held her running her fingers through Regina’s hair and felt as Regina move one hand between Emma’s shoulder holding the back of her neck the other resting on her hip. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

“I want you to do something for me,” Emma asked as she ran up to Regina as she sat in the make-up artist’s chair. Regina tried to not smile at Emma as she saw her moving back and forth on her feet, trying to keep her excitement in. Regina raised an eyebrow and folded her hands in her lap and nodded her head to Emma’s reflection in the mirror to continue, “I have to keep a promise, but the only thing is that the promise is you.”

“Did you sell me Miss Swan?” she asked with a sly smile and a twinkle in her eyes. 

“Most definitely not without your permission and you will want to keep this promise.” Emma smiled, her voice holding a breathless quality to it.

“What will you have me do?” Regina tried to answer in a mock defeated voice. 

“Do you trust me?” Emma saw right through it though.

“Should I trust you?” Regina asked in lower voice and with a look that made Emma stop her rocking before glancing around the room looking to see if they were alone. 

Emma cleared her throat and narrowed her eyes at Regina. “Absolutely not, but this is not about me, come.” Regina smirked at Emma reflection, stood from her chair and accepted the offered hand. Emma intertwined their fingers and gave them a small squeeze before pulling her into her arms. 

“You are evil, you know that,” and Emma leaned in lightly giving Regina a light peck on the lips. She pulled back slightly and rested her forehead on Regina’s, her eyes closed. Regina pulled her closer and smiled at Emma as she raised her head to look her in the eyes.

Regina expected the bright green eyes of her love staring back at her. Instead her eyes were filled with a deep sorrow. Regina started to speak and Emma gently pushed her back until she her back hit the end of the make-up artist table. Emma lifted her up onto the table and moved between her slack covered legs burying her face into the crock of her neck. Regina heard the deep breathes that Emma was trying to use to calm herself. 

Regina knew that their conservation a couple of days back was a stressful one for them both. But Regina had recovered better than Emma. Emma had dreams every night and with her head injury she had terrible migraines. 

“If we do not move soon Miss Swan, you will ruin your promise.” Regina offered after a few minutes of silence in a soft voice. She lightly scratched her nails up and down Emma’s back trying to calm her. Emma moved her hands to Regina’s black blouse and pulled it from her waist moving her hands under it to Regina’s back. Regina had come to realize that Emma needed skin to skin contact to calm herself. 

Regina sighed into the contact and she was starting to feel more and more grounded the longer she had Emma around. It had only been a short time for them both but they moved forward toward something that they both knew lead somewhere where either of them had ever been but felt so familiar at the same time. 

Emma removed her hands from Regina’s back and offered her a hand as she jumped down from the table. She turned and checked her appearance and she felt Emma unbutton her pants to tuck her shirt back in before grabbing Regina’s lipstick before opening the lid and applying it to Regina’s lips.

“There,” Emma said a smile on her face, “you are presentable.”

“Not completely Miss Swan,” and Emma looked at her with a confused look on her face. She did not get to ask before Regina switched their positions and leaned down slightly pushing Emma’s shirt up and sucked Emma’s skin right above her left breast into her mouth. She released it with a pop and pulled the shirt back down and looked at Emma’s confused and aroused expression.

“I forget to blot,” Regina answered grabbing her lipstick and reapplying it before tossing to on the table and then grabbed Emma hand pulling her toward the door. “Your promise Miss Swan,” and she raised her eyebrow and smirked at the her as Emma shook her head and pulled her out of the room to the front of the old factory.

They exited the building and there a few feet from the door stood Henry. He was leaning up against Emma’s car, backpack over one shoulder, standing next to his father. Regina now knew why Emma was upset. It was not about Henry but it was about seeing him again. 

Henry glanced up and smiled at his mom and Regina saw his eyes light up. He ran from the car and toward the two women. Regina expected Henry to run to Emma but she saw Henry divert his steps and she had enough time to bend her legs to take the weight of a six, now seven-year old colliding into her. 

“Eina, I missed you, I have so much to tell you.” Regina moved her hands to his back and hugged him back as much as she could. She glanced at Emma and she saw her smirk and she knew that Emma saw her bright smile directed toward Emma’s son. Emma glanced at Regina and gestured toward Neal with her hand. She gave the two of them some time alone to catch up.

Henry pulled away from his bear hug and Regina squatted down putting her hands on his shoulders. “It is good to see you again Mr. Swan. How have you been?”

“I am seven now, I am almost all grown up.” He moved back and forth on her feet.

“Are you know, well than if that is the case than are you going to move out soon?” Emma told her of Henry’s conclusions about becoming an almost adult.

Henry scrunched up his face just like her blond conundrum and she could not hold in her laugh. “I tried but dad stopped me. He says that he wants me to stay with him for a little while longer. I am grown up enough to see that he still needs me around.”

“Well, that is very grown up of you,” and Regina looked up as she saw Emma and Neal approaching the pair. Regina may not have seen Emma after the gala and before they began shooting but she had seen Henry. Henry got her number and texts turned into phone calls. Neal, Henry’s father contacted her, and they meet up several times. Neal called them ‘meeting’ but Henry called theme ‘dates.’ He was a charmer like his mother. 

Regina had not bonded so fast with another child in a long time. The last one was Mary-Margaret. They shared many of the same interests and with regular meeting to libraries and bookstores they formed a friendship. If the conservation turned toward Emma than Regina would listen to whatever he wanted to say about her. Henry loved his mother and missed her. He talked about her with reverence in his voice and Regina always smiled at that. Emma was god like in his eyes. 

Henry turned to Emma but she expected the hug and she picked him up and swung his around a couple of time before putting him down. His squeals made all three adults smile. Emma held his shoulders to support him when she sat him back onto solid ground. “Mom, I am hungry, can we go to Granny’s.”

“Sure kid, Neal you coming?” Despite Emma and Neal’s tangled past, they had agreed to a non-zero-sum game. Neither party held the upper hand when it came to Henry and his happiness. They both believed that Henry should be the focus of their interactions now. Emma told Regina that they both agreed to not talk about certain topics. Emma did not go into much detail after that but none was needed. 

“No Emma, I am going to hang out with Pan and a few others of the boys. This is your time anyway.” They both agreed that Henry needed both of his parents in his life. When it came to custody they both were flexible with the time that Henry spent with both of them. Neal squatted down and squeezed his shoulders. “Love you Henry.”

“Love you too dad.” Henry bypassed the squeeze and pulled himself into Neal, pulling a smile from him. Emma looked down at the pair and Neal and she shared a small look of understanding. 

Neal released Henry and started to walk away, giving a small wave to Emma and Regina. Emma regarded him and then turned his attention to Henry. “Let’s go kid, food awaits.” 

Regina stayed where she was unsure if she should follow them or leave them to have some alone time. Emma had not seen Henry for the last couple of months and a part of her was unsure where Emma and she stood on the matter. They had not really discussed it as of yet. 

Emma looked over her shoulder, the same question in her eyes and Henry stopped walking and looked between the two women. “Mom, can Regina come?”

“Sure kid, Regina?” Emma looked Regina’s eyes giving her the option just in case Regina may have any reservations on the matter.

Henry released Emma’s hand and grabbed Regina’s hand pulling her forward. He made the decision for both of them and walked Regina toward the diner. Emma waited for them to catch up and walked with them to the diner door and tried to open the door. Henry let go of Regina’s hand and pushed Emma out of the way and held it open for the both women. Regina saw Emma surprised look on her face and gave her a small smile in response. A little charmer just like his mother indeed. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Henry dipped another fry in ranch and stuck it in his mouth and slowly chewed it. After he consumed a few more he slouched back in the booth and sighed. “Mom, I need your help, when I go back to school we will be having a theme week.”

“A theme week?” Emma stopped mid bite and looked at Henry giving him her full attention. 

“No, it is a spirit week.” Henry corrected himself looking at his mother pleased with the self-correction.

“Ah…” and Emma sat down her chicken strip. “What is the theme?”

“The 80’s.” Henry told her with a grin on his face. 

Emma’s mind filled with John Hughes films and what character best fit her son. Her thoughts were interrupted by Henry. “I got it, Abraham Lincoln. I need a tux, top hat and beard.” Regina now knew why Henry was grinning at his mother.

Emma started to protest but she was interrupted by Regina, “That is a great idea Henry. In fact, there is a great second-hand store just a few blocks down. You should be able to find everything that you need.” Emma gave Regina a thankful look. 

“Mom can you take me?” and Henry voice held a hopeful quality that made Regina’s heart melt. Regina glanced at Emma and she saw the look that crossed her face. She would have to tell her son that she would be unable to do it. She was expected back on the set soon. 

Regina saved her from such a fate, “Henry can I take you? It has been a while since I have seen you, maybe we can catch up.” She kept her tone light and when Henry looked at her she reached forward and grabbed his hands. 

Henry eyes lit up and he looked at his mom. He silently asked her for permission, “Sure kid, Regina does not have any more scenes today.” Henry started to rise from the booth but Emma grabbed his shoulder and gently pushed him back down. “Finish your food first kid, I still have a few minutes before I have to get back.” Henry shook his head in agreement and picked up a fry. 

Emma looked at Regina and smiled. Regina knew that smile, a silent ‘thank you.’ 

Regina’s face gave away nothing, but her eyes gave Emma her response, ‘you’re welcome.’ 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regina stood outside of the dressing room waiting for Henry to try on a costume that they had found. It was a Halloween costume of a black dress suit complete with a scythe. Henry scrunched his nose at the accessory and said that Abraham Lincoln may use the weapon for vampires in books but he wanted to be the other one. “I know that Abraham Lincoln does not fit the theme. I just wanted to do something with ma, you know.”

“She could not come on my birthday and I did not want to miss school. That is important to her, that I put my education first. Ma told me that she did not have much schooling growing up. She tells me to learn as much as I can to find a job where I use my brains, for when I have kids I can have more time to spend with them. I know that she feels bad that she can not be around more.”

Regina knew that Henry was in one of the most prestige schools in New York. With Gold being his grandson, he provided him with the best education that money could buy. She had seen Gold point out this fact to Emma on the set many times and although Emma kept a neutral face she saw the hurt later when she thought that no one was around. She loved Henry and Emma tried to do everything to provide for him. But in the end, she knew that she could never provide the financial support that others gave so freely to her son. 

“She works hard and that is why I do my best in school. I want to prove to her that I can take care of her. That’s why I wanted to moved out, I want to live with ma.” His spoke with a slight tremor in his voice. Regina wanted to open the curtain and pull him into her arms. 

“Dad is getting married and I do not like her. He is happy but she feels wrong. Dad tells me that we can be a real family and how I can call her mom and…” Henry breathed out a frustrated breath, “we were a family before.”

Henry opened the curtain and Regina squatted down and looked him in the face. “I have a real family, ma and dad. Tamara is not my mom, ma is mom. Dad hurt ma very bad a long time ago. Now he tells me that my ma can not be my ma.” Henry lowered his head. 

“Ma never told me too choice. When I get mad at dad and I call ma, she tells me that he is my dad and that he will always will be and that I have to listen to him.” Henry scrunched up his face as he told Regina the last as if he was rehearsing a speech. Regina kept her worried eyes on the young boy in front of her, offering her support while trying to hold in a small smile at his last declaration. 

“I want her to know that I love her, that I choose her. I am seven, Regina how do I prove to her that all I want is her around?” Regina understand Henry’s confusion. Henry felt that his father was telling him that he had to choose between the two of them.

Emma told her once that a boy’s first love was there mother. Emma laughed as she told Regina of ‘her marriage´ to Henry and how she now kept the ring that he gave her on her necklace at all times. Regina had noticed the item but she never got around to ask the significance of it. 

“We were in one of those kiddy pizza places with the games and Henry is very lucky. For twenty dollars he got enough tickets to get almost everything that he wanted. He had a few left and he was looking at these cloth rings for fifteen tickets. He got two of them and pulled me down on my knees and placed the ring on my finger.” Emma laughed as she looked at Regina’s expression, “it had been the longest relationship that I have ever been in.” 

“I swore from that moment on, despite my limited time with him that I have to teach him something good, like picking up his clothes up off the floor.” Regina recalled Emma as she kissed her hard after telling her this probably confused by her pinched expression. Regina pushed the memory aside and focused on this very confused and hurt little boy. 

Regina knew what it felt to lose a parent but she was older than Henry was now. She could only imagine what Henry’s was going through faced with the similar decision at such a young age. But he accepted it and he choose. He had chosen Emma, her conundrum. 

“I want to tell her what dad was trying to do. He hurt her before but I am older now. I can protect her, I have to, that is my job.” His face held such determination as he looked Regina in the eye. 

Henry sighed and lowered his head and breathed out a calming breath. “I like you better than Lily, you make her happy. Lily never really liked me.” 

“I am sure that this is not true Henry, I cannot see how anyone cannot like you.” Regina sighed before pulling him into a tight hug. She felt his squirming but she figured out pretty quickly that he was just adjusting to a more comfortable position. 

“Lily never really talked to me. We would go out together just the three of us and she treated me as if I was not there. She did not feel right to me. She did not feel right for ma. You feel right for her. She does not have to fake the smile that she gives you. You talk to me.” Regina released him from the hug and squeezed his shoulder. Henry looked down at the floor blushing slightly. 

Regina smiled at the boy and did not want to embarrass him anymore than his blushing state implied. “Well young man, do you have your costume picked out?” Henry glanced down at his clothes and nodded his head toward Regina smiling. “If that is the case sir, why don’t you change and we can see if your mom is done. You can talk to her than.” Regina needed a few minutes to try to process all that Henry had told her. She needed to talk to Emma later but these thoughts were interrupted by Henry.

“Is ma planning a party for me? I know she is.” And Henry stuck his head out of the curtain before opening it and sitting down on the floor tying his shoes. “You can tell me, I promise that I will act surprised.” He looked at Regina’s face and observed her lack of answer, “I understand, you cannot tell.” He said the last with a slight sigh. 

Regina was amazed by how a child’s mind could change so fast. “Can I have the scythe too?” Henry asked the question with enough hope in his voice that made it impossible to tell him no. 

“Vampires?” Regina’s asked amused by his antics. Henry gave her a sly smile and handed the costume to Regina. He turned and ran to the front of the store, grabbing the weapon. Regina’s followed behind him. She had forgotten the feeling of chasing after a child in heels. A smile graced her face for a second as she thought of Emma giving her a massage later. She sighed and focused on her task watching as Henry swung the scythe around him. She gave the cashier a warning glare before calling Henry to her and placing the items on the counter. 

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Regina found her sitting on the second story sidewalk of the hotel leaning her head up against the railing. She as concerned when Emma did not return to the room after Henry’s party and after witnessing the heated discussion between Emma and Neal. 

Regina could not hold back the smile as Emma put a pillow next to her. Regina shook her head, grabbed the pillow and placed it behind Emma sitting down on it, placing a leg on each side of her. Emma leaned back into Regina and she put her arms around Emma seeking out her stomach, lifting her shirt in the process, feeling her skin. After a few minutes Emma relaxed and spoke. “How does one explain one’s past? How do you merge all the conflicting emotions into a comprehensive narrative? How can you expect someone else to accept it all when you can’t accept it all yourself?” 

Regina was told of her pending adoption at 16. ‘I was happy, but I kept looking for the flaws, the crack in the system. It had to be there, but I could not find it. Everyone was expecting something from me, but I did not know what they really wanted, I did not trust how I felt, so I ran.’

Next was her history with Neal, ‘I ran to New York and had some money saved up. I meet Neal and he was fun and we took care of each other. At the time I believed that it was love, and it may have been, but I had just left Belle so maybe he was just an excuse to bury the hurt. We did not end up well though.”

This was followed up by Neal’s betrayal and his last parting gift to Emma, Henry. Her time spent in prison and how she repeated the same mistakes that her parents did to her, leaving and disappointing her child. Regina’s response made Emma smile for only a moment, never reaching her eyes. ‘If you could see the way that he looks at you than you will know that is not true.’

The next part was about her tentative family, ‘The Nolan’s forgave me. They told me that I was family with or without a piece of paper. I never really had that before and a part of me felt that I do not really have that now. I felt as if I will wake up from this dream and I will be somewhere else, be someone else.’

The last part broke her heart and she did not think that even Belle and Ruby knew what Emma now told her. Her voice came out fragile, broken and she stumbled on every word. It explained many things about how Emma saw herself and her relationship with Henry, “When… I… was… twelve… I… was …pregnant.’ Emma cleared her throat and tried to breath out in a calming breath. 

Regina leaned in and kissed Emma’s ear, pulling away the hair beforehand. She tried to convey to her that no matter what she had told her that she was there for her. Regina hoped her vow truly reached Emma, ‘I will not let you fall to far Miss Swan.’ 

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Regina felt the top edge of Emma’s tank top slowly running a finger across the back of her neck between her shoulders. She had found out that the gesture lulled Emma to sleep. However, she could not.

Her conundrum was curled up into a fetal position a few feet away from her and despite her even breathes Regina could see the tension that she held onto. Regina felt helpless because she tried to comfort her but she could not soothe her true pain away. 

The more that Emma showed of herself the more Regina tried to hold onto her. She realized that once Emma started to open up to her that she could not stop. With Emma it was all or nothing and Regina loved that about her. But as she did this Regina felt the pain of something else. She knew that Emma had someone else before her that got past all of Emma’s walls. Someone that she had let all the way in. She felt their presence every time when Emma would look at her with just a bit of uncertainty and distrust in her eyes.

The scars on the outside of her body were visible symbols of the pain that Emma constantly carried. Regina was starting to understand that when Emma told her of her scars and how she did not want to ask others how they saw her, what she really meant was that she did not want to ask the question of herself.

Regina knew that Emma truly felt the safest when she was held and felt Regina skin next to hers. The clothes that she now wore were her armor and when she was bare she was trying to tell Regina that she trusted her, that she trusted them. 

She knew that Emma armor was up now because of the emotions that were attached to the memory of the loss of her first child. Despite everything that had happened to her and the methods as to how her child was conceived, Emma had loved it. She did not get a choice however because others felt that she was to young to go through with something so adult in nature. Regina knew that Emma had to grow up fast and as others looked at Emma they tried to give her back the innocence that she had already lost. Emma bitterly chuckled as she told her that, ‘Good intentions have a negative outcome, no matter the reasoning behind them.’ 

Emma now was clutching that ridiculous elephant that Regina had bought her. It was silly, childish and petty but Regina felt jealous of a stuffed animal. It was not the stuffed animal itself but the fact of what it represented. Emma was holding onto the one lesson that was drilled into her mind from an early age. Nothing was free and everything had a price. Regina wondered when Emma would question her on what the price for them was. 

Emma’s solution to her emotional state, her conditioning was to hid. She saw how Emma was curled up, trying to make herself as small as possible. She had pushed Regina away. She wondered how much time they had before Emma pushed her away completely because she revealed too much to herself or because of doubt in herself to deal with the emotions attachment to her memories.

Regina scars were just as deep but she had accepted most the pain behind her past. Her mother may have had some ‘questionable’ methods when punishing Regina but she also taught her the strength to survive. It was a strange sensation and it made her relationship with her mother a complicated one. 

Her mother viewed any kind of visible emotion as a weakness. Regina believed that was why her mother had her pursue acting. It was her mother’s way of teaching her how to channel her inner emotions into a more accepted outlet. Regina thought that her mother had taught herself this as a survival technique as well to deal with the abuse that she endured from her father, Regina’s grandfather. 

She was never the type of person who craved constant contact with anyone before Emma. And in their short time together she had gotten used to the feel of Emma next to her. In the past Regina slept partly clothed but Emma broke her of that very idea the first time that she held her as she fell asleep. That was what was so heartbreaking about their situation now, the distance between them. Emma had been vulnerable before but she had always let Regina, she always had her next to her. 

Belle and Ruby may have given her the Manuel to her love but now it was in some foreign language that she could not read. Regina was maneuvering by instinct alone but a part of her already knew the steps. She felt that they had found something that they had both lost. A distance memory slowly coming into focus. 

“I think that you do not want me to sleep?” Emma’s asked her voice raspy from sleep. 

Regina hummed in response as she was pulled from her thoughts. She glanced down at her hand and saw that it had moved down from Emma’s neck to the bottom of her shirt. It was raised slightly and she did not still her movement, as she moved the shirt up inch by inch feeling Emma’s side as she went along. Regina lowered her head onto the pillow and stopped her wondering hand moving it down to Emma’s hip.

“I was unaware that I was doing that,” and Emma could hear the truth in Regina’s statement, the slight sadness that her voice held when she said it.

The clothes…they are… bothersome.” A light chuckle was Emma’s response and she moved and stretched out her body moving one her hand on top of Regina’s, lightly squeezing. The other hand rubbing her eyes, trying to clear the sleep from them. 

“Why did you let me sleep?” Emma inquired as she laid on her back looking at the ceiling intertwining there joined hands. 

“You looked so beautiful, I did not have the heart to wake you. Besides…” and Emma heard the slight irritated undertone as she finished. “You had that.”

Emma looked at the gray stuffed animal and tried to hold in that goofy smile that was always seemed to drive Regina slightly up the wall. She glanced at it and picked it up and gave it slight kiss on its trunk before placing it by Regina’s face. “Their Rossi is yours, I never realized that an elephant will come between us?”

Regina eyed the stuffed animal as she felt a hand gently cup her face, thumb running along her jaw before Emma spoke. “I did not know you would respond that way when I told you what I did. I saw something in your eyes, it felt like…” and Emma ran her other hand over her face and through her hair. She breathed out a frustrated breath and glanced at Regina before moving her body sideways facing her.

“It was not what you told me, it was how you pulled away from me after you did so.” Emma could hear the hurt in her voice and Emma thought she knew where it came from. But Regina knew the real reason behind it. She may have accepted the pain behind her past but it did not mean that it did not spike every once in a while. Emma may have been a raging flood when it came to her emotional state and past but Regina was a slow trickle. And Emma had succeeded to make a bigger hole. She just did not realize what she had released and Regina could not tell Emma, not yet anyway. 

“I have to make myself small, I have to go back to a place that is easy, simple. I have to push all others thoughts aside and focus on one thing. I have to dwell on it and face it. I need my armor not because of telling you but because I told you. There are to may things attached to it and this is my way of facing them. I did not have you before. I did not have the support that you now offer me. But I saw something in your eyes and I thought…”

“It is not for the reasons that you think, I promise you that.” Emma accepted Regina’s answer not pushing anymore.

Regina let go of Emma’s hand, grabbed the stuffed animal and eyed it once before gently sitting it down on the nightstand. As she turned around Emma was sitting up and she started to pull her shirt off. Regina stopped her movement and sat up, scooting closer and intertwining their hands as she helped Emma move her shirt up. Her caresses were light and she did not make them sexual in nature. Emma smiled at her as Regina removed her hands and allowed Emma to pull the shirt over her head throwing it on the floor. Emma amused smile made Regina growl slightly, she hated clothes on the floor. 

Emma was trying to break the tension, trying to let Regina back in after pushing her away. She lowered her hands and laid back down on her back to remove her shorts but she knew that Regina would stop her attempts and she was right. 

Emma smiled at Regina’s face as she scrunched up her features as she put a hand on either side of Emma hips and pulled the shorts down with Emma assisting lifting up her lower body. Regina’s fingers lightly moved over the top of Emma’s thighs and down the front of her lower leg. She was feeling all that she could as if she had been denied something. And to a certain extent she had and now she was looking at Emma as if seeing her for the first time. 

Regina folded the shorts and placed them on the end of the bed. With a small nod of her head she felt Emma’s eyes and her and faced them head on. Emma sat up again and offered her hands to Regina and pulled her up and placed Regina directly on the top of her body. She gently moved Regina’s head up below her chin and wrapped her hands around her holding her tight. Regina arms moved on either side of Emma returning the tight hold.

Emma apologize was never verbalized but Regina did not need to hear it. She never wanted her the words of ‘Sorry,’ fall from Emma’s mouth when confiding something to Regina concerning her past. They held each other and when Regina woke a few hours later with a creak in her neck she did not mind. She moved her head up and saw sleepy eyes opening and looking at her. Emma moved a hand to her neck and started to massage it. This was not the first time that Regina had used Emma as a bed.

Regina saw all of the very things that Emma wanted to verbalize to her swirling in her eyes. Emma eyes changed like a mood ring and her earlier shade of stormy blue were now green. Regina meet Emma’s shy smile. Emma moved her left hip up and Regina got the hint and moved up, placing a knee on either side of Emma. A startled sound escaped from her lips as Emma flipped Regina onto her back, knees now on either side of her. She moved back to her side, put a couple of pillows behind her and sat up slightly. Regina moved her head onto Emma’s stomach, her hands lightly trailing up and down Emma’s legs. 

“Neal wants him full time. He tells me that I have never stayed in one place for to long and that this is not healthy for Henry. He says that he can offer Henry what he has never had, two loving parents that live in the same house taking care of him. We tried to be together when Henry was little but it did not work out. When I looked at Neal all that I saw was his betrayal.”

Emma sighed and continued running her fingers through Regina’s hair. Her other hand making small circles on Regina’s hip. She remained deep in her thoughts for a few minutes before continuing, “He is right, I have never settled. I have always wondered form place to place. If not for the kid, I would probably be in Arizona right now, he is my grounder. I have still drifted but with you here I feel like I can finally stay in one place. I do not feel the itch to move on.”

“I want to see Henry more. I have tried everything else in my life and I have never felt content. A part of me is terrified of wanting to spend more time with him. A part of me realizes that I am missing so much of him. He is growing up right in front of my eyes and I want to see every step. I realize that I want to be there for the day to day stuff. I want to pick him up from school, pack his lunch, help him with his homework. I want to fight with him about taking a bath, brushing his teeth and going to bed. I want that and Henry wants that with me. He had never told me that he wanted me around all the time before. I want to learn be a mother, whatever that truly is and I want Henry to learn how to truly be my son.”

Regina was smiling now and she felt a small pinch on her hip. “I know that Henry likes you but I do not want to play happy family. I do not want to rush this, us and I know that we still have a lot of things to settle between us.”

Regina sighed, “I want us and I know that either of us are ready for more than what we have right now. I do want you in New York with me in whatever form that we both feel comfortable with.” 

A smile graced Regina’s features as she closed her eyes enjoying her love below her. “I love Henry, I really do and I know that you are a packaged deal. If I had never meet him before we got involved than I would not push you to meet him. I want to be sure that we have some kind of future before having Henry involved in that. I do not want to hurt him and for the record I would never tell him that I was a replacement for either of his parents.”

“That was what he told you?” Emma asked as she lifted Regina’s head and laid down next to her. Regina straightened out as Emma placed her head onto Regina’s collarbone pulling their two bodies flush.

“He told me that he had to protect you.” Emma laughed at that and lowered her head back down to her previous position giving it a kiss before doing so. 

“He had opened up to you more than he has anyone that I have dated. Lily did not…” and Emma cleared her throat and she did not finish because of the slight pull on her hair.

“You can briefly mention her but keep it to a minimum.” 

“Ah, but love,” Emma threw in with an accent. That earned another pull of her hair and Regina moved down slightly getting onto her side and intertwining their legs. Emma sparking eyes made Regina smile despite the bad joke said in a bad Irish accent. 

Emma knew about Daniel and Regina’s brief relationship with Graham. Regina knew about Belle, Neal but she did not know about, “Her name was Cleo Fox and I found out that she was married.” Regina leaned in and rubbed their checks together. She now had the missing piece of the puzzle, the name of the women who took Emma’s broken spirit and shattered it. Regina could now hold onto and support more of Emma’s broken pieces. 

“Well… now we can never have that conservation again.” Emma laughed at Regina’s answer and nudged Emma to turn around untangling their legs beforehand. She pulled Emma close, closing her eyes and breathed in the unique smell of her love. 

“Sleep my conundrum, we can talk more in the morning.” Emma nodded and breathed out the breath that she was holding. 

“Regina?”

“Yes, Miss Swan.” Regina asked in a warning tone that made Emma chuckle.

“Does this mean that when I sleep next from now on that I have to be naked.” Emma sounded amused as she snuggled into Regina.

“Idiot.” Emma hummed in response and slowly breathed out feeling Regina steady breathes on the back of her neck. Emma closed her eyes, started to relax and she thought to herself ‘damn better than some stuffed animal. Although jealous Regina was pretty fun.’ and her chuckle was stopped by light pinch on her stomach. This made her laugh harder and then Regina stopped her from laughing altogether. 

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	9. chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many humbled thanks to all who have read, kudosed and commented.
> 
> Disclaimers from chapter 1 apply.

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Chapter 9 

Emma had a very particular habit that Regina found enduring. Emma, when drinking and writing would pick up her travel mug and turn it bottom to top three time before popping the top to take a drink from the contents within. She would than refasten the lid and place the mug directly in to her line of sight off to the right. It was always three times and if it was coffee and strong than she would swirl it around in her checks several times before swallowing it. 

She was bent over writing, notebook in her lap. Her shoulders were hunched, much like they always were and Emma was muttering to herself as she wrote. Regina was amazed by how the many sounds from around the set could not break her concentration from her current thoughts. 

She would pause every couple minutes or so, (yes, she timed it), drink and put the travel mug back on the table, (no this was not creepy, it was like bird watching with Emma being the bird). Regina was currently watching Emma because when she put the cup down this last time she did not secure the lid. She knew her conundrum well enough to know that the next time she drank that she would spill its contents all over herself. Currently, the timer was at three minutes (If Emma were the bird than would that make her the cat?).

“What time is she at?” Belle inquired as she sat down next to Regina.

“Just a little over three minutes.” Regina responded but she kept her focus on Emma.

“Um… well I give her another ten.” Belle injected with a slight teasing challenge in her voice.

Regina glanced at her, meeting the challenge. “Thirteen.”

“Three minutes difference, fair.” Belle cleared her throat, “I take it that you heard the news.” 

Regina nodded and looked down at her phone briefly looking at the current time before answering, “Yes, but when I was going to tell Emma I found her…” and Regina gestured her hand in front of her. “I did not want to disturb her though, she has to face my mother of all people.”

Belle shook her head in understanding, “I did not know that your mother was involved in the project.”

“When I heard that she was one of the silent producers I was not surprised.” Regina’s mother was involved in almost every aspect of her life. She wanted to believe that she got this and every job by her own merit. Her mother put enough doubt in herself to challenge how she saw herself and her own self-worth. She had spent her whole life being pushed by her mother to do more, be better. She wanted to believe that Emma cast her because of her abilities and not because of her mother’s influence.

“At least I get to see Rumple… silvering lining and all.” Regina looked at Belle and gave her a small smile. “Emma can hold her own, she has faced much worse than Cora Mills.”

“Oh, my mother is a force to be reckoned with.” Regina loved Emma, believed in her but an irrational part of her feared her mother and feared for Emma’s safety. She knew the power that her mother held and she could destroy Emma if she deemed it so. What they shared was special, fragile. If she managed not to screw THIS up than her mother certainly would try, and she had already planted a small seed toward that.

“She may be but as she come up against Emma Swan?” Both women exchanged glances before Belle glanced down into her intertwined hands, bunched into her lap. Regina saw them as she squeezed her hands together and slowly release them. She knew that this was Belle’s nervous tick. 

“How is she doing?” Regina knew that this was Belle’s way to try to approach her on neutral ground. They had not talked much over the past month and their interactions had been brief and impersonal. 

“She is doing pretty good, she is having pretty bad migraines though.” Belle shook her head and looked up at Regina with a hopeful smile.

“I saw her have one the other day, she is lucky to have you.” Regina returned Belle smile with one of her own.

“I am the lucky one, “and Regina turned her attention back to Emma. “I have had a chance to give her a few massages.” Belle’s shook her head and chuckled.

Belle’s face sobered, “I have had this talk before, but I have a feeling that it will go different with you.” She paused briefly, “Or,” and she gave Regina a small nervous chuckle, “I hope that it will.”

Regina knew that Belle and Emma shared a very tangled past. From friend to lover, ex¬¬-girlfriend to best friend, it was enough to make one’s head hurt. And it did keep her up many a night because it was EVEN more complicated than that. Over the past couple of months Belle and Regina had formed a friendship. But then when Emma and Regina got together that all changed. Belle pulled away from both women and Regina truly did not know where Belle would fit into their new situation. 

Emma was waiting to see if both women could come to some type of understanding for she knew that the decision was not hers to make. Regina knew that Emma needed Belle in her life in some form, and she wanted that as well. She realized what Belle truly represented to her conundrum, a dark part of her past that very few people knew about. “I am… concerned about how close you and Emma are, even now.” 

“I understand that, I do. What can I say to reassure you?” Belle’s voice held a slight tremor. Regina could tell that she was starting to get upset by her accent, which was getting slightly thicker. She wondered briefly how the lack of interaction between the three of them over the past month had affected Belle.

“I do not know, not really.” And Regina’s response came out in whisper. “Nothing is certain. We are not certain, we have been together for such a short time. How can you judge a relationship or a beginning of one by that?” Despite everything she needed to talk to someone about her new status with Emma. The only problem was that the person that she wanted to talk to it about was one of the many factors that were giving her doubts.

“You guys have had a pretty good start. You always had something between you to, I care enough about both of you to not even try to mess with that.” Regina looked at Belle and heard the slight warmth in her voice, she held back her smile though. 

“I saw Emma shortly after she had cast you and I noticed a difference. She looked lighter, she told me that she felt calmer. She chalked it up to the start of the shoot but those closest to her knew that was not it, it was you. We saw it the very first time we saw you staring at each other at the gala. It did not go unnoticed that Emma and you disappeared around the same time that night.” Belle paused as Regina turned her attention back to Emma, a slight blush on her face. Truth be told Regina could not keep her eyes off of Emma for to long. 

“Emma is different, she has always been. She is guarded but no matter what has happened to her she held onto some small part of herself, that is pure. She buried it deep because she had to believe that despite all that she had been through that there would eventually be some balance in her life. She tried to find salvation, her hope in the darkness believing that the light would follow soon after, that it had to. Then she found you and you her. You became her beacon of light and she became your support.” Regina keep her eyes straight ahead, but Belle saw her smile from her profile. 

“Others in the past had tried to put limits on both of us, tried to label something that we fully do not understand. I will always stand by Emma, no matter what she does in this life and I know that Emma will do the same for me. I know Emma, no I knew Emma. The Emma that I see now is truly something to behold. You bring out that light in her, I could never do that and if the price for that is our friendship than I will pay it.” Belle was addressing her relationships with both women. Regina did not want that but who she used to be would not hesitate to demand this from Belle. However, she was not that women anymore. Regina grabbed and squeezed Belle’s arm acknowledging her and her words. 

“This is a conservation that you need to have with Emma. You need to hear her side about our past. This is her story to tell. Like I told you months ago, you only heard my interpretation. Is it the label that we use toward each other that bothers you?” Belle did not need an answer for she felt Regina remove her hand and she saw Regina’s stoic face. 

There conservation was cut by a loud yelp followed by Emma jumping up from her seat. She sat her travel mug down on the table next to her and tried to wipe the coffee off her pants, shirt and now ruined papers. After trying a few more times she gave up and turned around smiling at Regina. Regina loved that smile and it helped some of her doubt diminish for the time being.

Emma walked over to the two women and glanced back and forth between them assessing the situation. She sensed some tension but she did not comment on it. With a genuine smile on her face she stated, “Well, how long did I last this time?” 

It took a few seconds to register Emma’s words and there meaning. When she did, Regina glanced down at her forgotten phone. “Um, twenty-three minutes and thirty-seven seconds.”

“Who won?” Belle and Regina glanced at each other and then back at Emma. Emma smirk said it all.

“Ha… I beat both of your times, didn’t I? See I am unpredictable.” Although, just by the fact that Regina was timing her and both women were debating on such behavior showed the truth on the matter. Emma looked at the two women her voice losing her teasing tone as she addressed Regina.

“When will they arrive?” Emma breathed out running a hand through her hair. 

“Maybe an hour or less.” Emma shook her head giving Belle a glance before meeting Regina’s eyes.

“I should go change, although maybe I shouldn’t, show them what they truly think about me.” Regina raised her eyebrows in a silent question.

Emma moved forward and leaned down offering her a light kiss. “Don’t worry love, if someone expects you to be a certain way than it’s better to play along. Than you can throw them off balance and show them who you really are.”

Emma than placed her hands onto the back of Regina’s neck and pulled Regina gently to her. This kiss was a little more than a friendly peck and Regina knew that Emma would never take it too far. She pulled back smiling and glanced down at Regina’s shirt. “You really need to button that second button.”

“Do I now?” And Regina sounded amused.

“Yes, if you don’t than I will be late for my meeting.” Regina was close enough to see the darkening of Emma’s eyes and hear the slight lowering of her voice. Regina’s breath caught in her throat for a moment. 

“And that is a bad thing?” Regina matched the tone and she saw Emma’s body shiver by her comment feeling Emma as she leaned in a bit more. 

“Yes,” and Emma glanced down at the exposed flesh before looking back up to Regina’s face, “and no.”

The sound of Belle clearing her throat made Emma chuckle once and she leaned in kissing Regina soundly one last time before removing her hands. “That is a damn nasty cold you got their girl. You should get that checked out.” Belle shook her head and sat up from her chair walking away from both women. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The cast and crew stood silently outside of Emma’s make-shift office waiting for the three people to emerge. Inside Emma faced two of the most powerful people in the entertainment business and the executive producers of Emma’s movie, Rupert Gold and Cora Mills. Emma entered the room with an impassive face but Regina could read her body language, she was nervous. Although she had her armor of her red leather jacket and ruined clothes. Her coffee covered papers were in her left hand as she opened the door and let her guests in first. Regina meet Emma’s eyes one last time before she closed the door behind her.

Regina stood by Emma’s side as they both saw the black limo pull up to the old factory. Emma glanced at Regina before stepping forward toward the limo door. She motioned for the driver to move before opening it up herself. Her mother emerged first and Regina saw a brief look of confusion on her face before giving Emma a smug expression. Cora walked toward Regina, a small smile gracing her features. Regina lowered her head for she could not meet her mother’s eyes. She tried to prepare herself mentally for the time that she would have to interact with her mother later and she found that she did have the butterflies in her stomach like she used to. She smiled briefly before her face sobered.

Regina used to hear her mother’s lessons in her head almost all the time. Her body started to tense and shake when she knew that she would have to see her. But since the night of the hospital and the start of her relationship with Emma, her mother’s voice was silent. She smiled, love may be a weakness but she would gladly indulge herself in what she was feeling. Emma was worth the risk, no they were. 

Cora did not wait for Mr. Gold to emerge from the limo. She walked briskly and with purpose. Her usual attire was softened a bit with her dress slack and blouse. Cora’s hairstyle usually up, was down and styled to perfection. She was the presentation of calm and grace. 

Regina heard the limo door close and as raised her head to see Mr. Gold walking toward her. He gave her a brief nod before limping past her. Regina turned and met Emma’s stare as she was leaning up against the limo arms crossed, smiling. She lowered her head and she heard the fast footsteps of her conundrum approach. She felt the soft caress on her jaw and raised her eyes to meet Emma’s worried ones. Emma smiled softly, grabbed and squeezed her hand before letting it go and entered the factory, leaving Regina standing there.

Regina sighed, turned and entered the building, grabbing a chair to await the outcome. She could imagine Emma sitting in a chair with her feet up on an old plastic table, coffee stain on her clothes, and ruined papers in her lap. This made her smile and then she heard Belle and Ruby pull up chairs on either side of her, offering her their silent support. She could rationalize safety in numbers and all but she knew that was not it. She had genuine, real friends and although Emma drew them together she knew that despite what may happen to them in the future that Ruby and hopefully Belle would always stand by her and vice versa.

All eyes were drawn to the opening of the door. Emma emerged first followed by Cora and Rumple shortly behind her. Regina could see the anger in her eyes and tense body and she knew that Emma was rattled. She looked at Regina and relaxed instantly and her soft smile was returned. Gold did not have usual business smile. She knew that face, that look. Whatever had been discussed did not go the way that Gold wanted it to. 

Cora stoic face showed nothing but her rigid steps and posture showed Regina her dislike for the whatever was discussed. Her eyes were fixed on her daughter and Regina meet them for a second before glancing away. She saw something in her mother’s eyes that rattled her, amusement.

Emma breathed in once and addressed the crowd, “Ok guys, the movie is being changed. It will extend the shoot for an additional week. The good thing is that the rewrites are written by August.” Emma turned around and addressed Cora and Gold. “Since I did not change things then you will have to inform Lily since Belle now knows…” Emma stated gesturing to Belle.

“Is that not your job?” Cora voice rose an octave higher challenging Emma’s. 

“I am the director, not your trained monkey. If you want to replace me that is fine, I have completed most of this film. As I see it, it will cost you twice as much to do so. Take it as you wish, Mrs. Mills.” Emma turned and stated to walk away from the pair and further into the set. A small shake of her head told Regina she was fine as Regina halted her movement and sat back down in her chair. Emma needed some time alone. 

Regina turned toward the stare from her mother as her eyes bore into hers. She stared back and this time her mother broke the stare first. Besides, she knew that Cora already knew about them and she did not have to hide anything. She knew that she had to face her anyway, despite everything she was still her mother after all.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regina approached the park in the middle of Stroybrooke. The sun was shining bright and offered a little more warmth than the past couple of days. She spotted Emma laying on a blanket on top the grass. A backpack on the upper right partly opened revealed some lunch for the two of them.

Most of the cast and crew took the extension of the shoot well. When Cora informed Emma that she was expendable and that someone was coming in to finish the movie Emma laughed at the announcement. The scenes that were slates to shoot were cancelled and Emma informed Cora that since she did not technically have to finish the scenes or film, that she was taking the afternoon off. Cora was displeased and her mother informed Regina after the meeting that she wanted to have lunch with her later that week. She agreed and left the set, in search of Emma. Regina saw how badly Cora had upset her. 

She started down at Emma and saw her arms crossed on her stomach, looking up at the sky. Her legs were straight-out in front of her with her feet moving up and down. She had taken off her shoes and socks and Regina saw the red painted nails that she had just done.

“I was expecting you,” and Emma’s motioned with her hand for Regina to sit. “I hope that your mother did not give you to much trouble.” Regina did not answer her question but proceeded to remove her shoe’s; but she kept on her socks. There was a slight breeze and her feet got cold easily. 

Emma leaned up helping Regina do her task and took off her sun glasses, narrowing her eyes at her. Regina saw Emma’s slight movement of her head offering her body as Regina’s pillow. She sighed and laid down putting her head on Emma’s stomach. Emma placed a hand onto Regina’s head and started to lightly trace a finger down her jaw, across her lips and then up to her head scratching her scalp lightly. 

“You should dress like this more often, it is a good look for you.” Regina’s look of an old worn pair of jeans and red V-neck sweater softened her appearance.

“Is that a demand?” and Regina hummed at Emma’s relaxing gesture.

Emma laughed than lightly pulled her hair before continuing. “No, just a request. I could get used to this, enjoying a nice peaceful afternoon with you here.” Regina smiled in response and turned her head onto her side, looking at Emma with narrowed eyes. 

Emma shook her head and grabbed her phone and placed it down onto the blanket between them. She pressed play on her touch screen and Regina heard the conservation that she was not privy to before.

Regina heard the scuffling of feet, “Mr. Gold, Mrs. Mills, always a pleasure.” Regina heard the scrapping of a chair, “Can I offer you either one of you a seat?” 

“I am fine Miss Swan, I prefer to stand.” Gold responded in a flat voice.

“Mrs. Mills?” Regina could imagine her mother’s look as she looked at the offered metal chair and her present surrounding.

“No, I am find besides this should be a short conservation anyway Miss Swan.” Cora informed Emma in a professional but confident voice. Regina could imagine her mother’s stare waiting for Emma to break the silence first, to question what she may have meant. When Cora did not receive it than she continued, “As you well know your movie is almost finished but some changes are expected. You will do them and present this film in the way that your investors approve of.”

“Mind if I sit Mrs. Mills, I feel as if I need to ask for some kind of permission for that.” Regina heard Emma’s light mocking tone and the scraping of the chair followed by a soft sigh coming from her conundrum. 

“Really Miss Swan?” Cora spoke her voice slightly rising and she felt Emma move as she pushed paused on her phone. 

Regina saw Emma’s slight smirk. “You put your feet up on the table, didn’t you?” She did not respond but she moved her hand to touch the tip of her nose briefly before moving her hand back pressing play.

“I figured that may be the issue and I have made some adjustments, I have them here,” and Regina heard the shuffling of papers and the slight scrapping of the chair.

“Your input is not necessary; we may need a fresh set of eyes on this project. I should be getting a call soon to settle the issue. The new scenes have already been approved and they will focus more on the family. A secondary storyline involving the cast members. I believe you know the writer, August?” Cora regained her composure and spoke now with an air of indifference.

“If there was a problem with the script, little or otherwise that I would have heard about it before. You would not have wasted your money or time. Besides August and I wrote the original script. I suspect that this has to do with other matters… maybe more personal in nature.” Regina could hear the challenge in Emma’s voice and she shook her head lightly. Emma did not know when to back down in a situation and this was a confrontation that she knew that Emma could not win.

“That is not what we discussed or agreed to Cora,” Gold interrupted and he sounded angry, her mother’s name being spit out as if it were poison.

“You lost the right to supervise this movie after you greenlighted a movie involving your girlfriend,” Cora countered back. “The other producers feel as if you are biased and that will affect the outcome.” Regina heard the mocking voice and a slight shiver moved down her spine. At least it was not directed toward her. Old habits and conditioning die hard. 

“You deliberately went behind my back, you take to many liberties. More than likely your changes will include your daughter.” Gold’s voice started to lower, his voice coming out close to a growl.

Emma interrupted the exchange. “If you want the movie changed than that is fine. It will give the cast and crew a few extra weeks of work. As for removing me from MY movie I do not have any say in the matter, do I Mrs. Mill’s?” Regina heard the slight anger in her voice and she knew that Emma had lost the battle of wills between them. 

Cora laughed, “You do not; and you know as well as I do that you have tried to work with Midas and George.” Emma laughed at that and Regina felt the movement as Emma leaned forward a little bit lighting up the phone and pressing pause.

“I must admit that she is a force to be reckoned with. But I have had to deal with you so… as much as she may try to scare me, you scare me more.” Regina raised her eyebrows and started to protest but Emma placed a finger on her lips stopping her response. Emma had a very morbid sense of humor and Regina could see the twinkle in her eyes. Maybe Emma picked up on her slight tremor. It did not really matter; Emma methods were very unorthodox; but she calmed Regina in a way that no one else could.

Emma placed play on her phone and continued to run her hand through Regina’s hair, while her other hand traced her face lightly. “You think that you have won dearie, but nobody crosses me. I will get you for…”

“Your threats are an empty one and we both know it. Belle has made you weak,” Cora spat out with a touch of emotion in her voice. Regina was not used to hearing this. She scrunched her face up in confusion, but Emma’s light touch centered her. It brought her back to the present and from whatever past emotions were moving toward the surface. 

Regina knew of Cora’s and Gold’s past relationship. She also knew her past coach and agent. He would find some way to change the situation in his favor. Cora may have had the upper hand now, but Gold prepared for every situation including this one. 

“As much as I would love to hear this touching domestic scene, I have a movie to NOT shoot. Time and money and all.” Emma stated in a mocking tone. “Shall I give you two the room to discuss this further?”

Regina could imagine the looks that both Gold and her mother gave her but all she heard was the soft sigh from Emma before she heard the chair scrap along the floor. She heard footsteps, probably Emma’s moving toward the door.

“I want to be angry but a part of me does not care. I will dig a ditch if I have to, although I know that I will have to go back to school for a heavy machinery degree. What do you think Regina, can you picture me on one of those…”? 

Regina sat up and leaned forward pulling Emma to her kissing her gently offering her support. After breaking the kiss, Regina’s put her head over Emma’s heart hearing the steady beat. Regina knew that she could not hold the position for long and after a few minutes she resumed her previous position. A soft breeze made Regina shiver and Emma reached behind her grabbing a small blanket. She handed it to Regina who moved it down, covering her feet. Emma’s red jacket covered the upper part of her body and Regina moved into the familiar smell and feel of its wool/cotton lining. Regina smiled lightly as she briefly remembered wearing the same article of clothing and nothing else not too long ago. She felt safe, warm, content. Although she did secretly love the color of it (she would never admit it out loud though). It reminded her of home, her apple tree and her father kind words and gentle support over the years. 

“I meet Bell when I was little. She told me that I was two or so. We kept in touch over the years and she always found me no matter where I ended up. I met Ruby’s and her mother at the group home before my mother found me. They would volunteer bringing food, warm blankets, etc. I was a little small for my age and others tried to pick on me. Ruby taught me how to fight.”

When I was pushed down the stairs and I was…” and Emma cleared her voice trying to keep the emotion out it. “Asleep, all I heard were Belle and Ruby as they read to me. With Ruby… well,” and Emma chuckled. Regina did not need her to finish the sentence as she found Emma’s ‘secret’ stash of romance novels and fanfiction. “With Belle I heard her calming voice as she read me all of the classis books that we used to read as kids.”

“The Age Of innocence?” Emma hummed in response resuming her movement in Regina’s hair.

“Among others, I woke up and I had a long painful journey ahead. Stroybrooke had an excellent rehabilitation center, led by May Margaret. If it was not for Belle and Ruby I did not know how I would have gotten through it all.”

“Belle would always be a part of me, she was there for me when nobody else was. What we were are not what we are now, she is my past. I do not see us ever being intimate again. The term ‘hetro life mate,’ came from a joke one night many years after Henry was born. ‘Hetro life’ for the definition of our lasting friendship and ‘mate’ because…” and Emma paused and barreled on despite her tense lover next to her. 

Emma nudged Regina’s head to meet her eyes and Emma saw the fury that lay just underneath the surface. She cleared her throat and spoke softly, trying to convey the truth of her statement. “‘Mate,’ because Belle is Aussie and that is the term she used to describe friends.” 

Regina raised her head away from Emma’s gently hold and started to sit up, but she stopped when Emma gently pulled on her shoulder, drawing her back down to rest on her stomach. “I think of my brain as a straight long-paved narrow path with the night sky above me. All round me are gravestones, some are lite from tiny stars. There is no grass and all that I see is the flat plan earth around me. My memories are buried, some deeper than others each underneath a single head stone. Ask me Regina?”

Emma sighed after a minute at Regina’s silent and shook her head. “You are the most stubborn women that I have come to know in my life so far. You challenge me at every turn and you call me on my bullshit. You wipe away my tears and hold me when I need somebody. You sustain me and that is scary for me. You have somehow grabbed the shovel and started to dig up everything that I have tried to keep buried. You have somehow gotten into my heart, my soul, the very part of my love that I did not know was left inside me. You found that last shred of light and pulled it free and have light up my sky. You are a sight to behold. I LOVE YOU Regina Fucking Mills.” 

Emma had called her love many times; but she had never put those three words together. She thought that if Emma ever said that phrase that it would feel the same. She was wrong as she now saw ‘love,’ as a term of endearment, a starting point. By telling her that she loved her, truly loved her, made Regina feel something that she had not felt in a long time. 

But this felt different, this felt like it was something old and new at the same time. Daniel laid the ground work for something else, someone else. And Regina knew in that minute that it was Emma. She knew and felt as if Emma was always there with her. She would gladly make every single mistake, take every single beating and heartache because it lead her to her love. It brought her to Emma and to who she was slowly becoming. A part of her was terrified of this change but a part of knew that this was where she was meant to be. She was lost, searching for something that she knew that she had before. It was more than saying that she was home, it was more than saying that she was safe and loved, wanted, needed. It was something just out of reach. She felt herself get a firm grip on it and she was slowly pulling it to herself, into the light.

Regina smiled and looked toward Emma. She was quiet, painfully so. She did not meet Regina’s eyes and the feelings of joy was slowly being replaced by something else. She did not know if Emma had pushed herself to far, said to much. She wondered if this was the breaking point for them. She wondered this was the breaking point for Emma. Emma ran, she always did and when Emma meet her eyes she saw her eyes convey to her just that. 

Regina saw something else though, a pleading hidden beneath the surface that was slowly moving into her eyes. Shit, Emma was afraid that Regina would shut her out. Emma told her that she felt at times that they were moving to fast. But it was Emma that truly felt that way or was it her?

Regina thought back to their many discussions over the past couple of months about relationships. Regina never imagined or wanted herself into to get involved with someone again and she told Emma as much. Part of it was to protect herself because she knew that she had fallen in love with Emma. Part of it was her past and the fact Regina never had a choice, she was a pawn used by others who forced their versions of love down her throat. 

The term ‘love’ used as a loving hand that caressed a forming bruise, busted lip or bitter word. ‘Commitment,’ and ‘marriage’ used as excuse to break her spirit and to change her image to fit others ideals. Regina realized than that when Emma talked about ‘visiting’ Regina that she had heard what Regina was trying to tell her. Emma read between the lines and accepted Regina’s terms.

Emma was always the one who had ended her past relationships. Hell, Neal had wanted to marry her and play happy family, past be damned. Regina could tell that Emma wanted something more with her. But with everything that she had told Emma before she was starting to think that Emma believed otherwise. They had never truly discussed it because she saw this truth in Emma’s eyes. She saw it in everything action and small gesture. Emma was trying to prove that she would never brand her, claim or try to own her. 

Regina realized that she had fucked up. She realized that she pulled Emma closer through intimacy but shut her out because she could not verbalize what she wanted. And her silence now reinforced to Emma everything that she believed about them. She did not know how to even approach how she could talk to Emma about this. Regina had to accept this about herself and Emma was trying to navigate this as well. Despite all she trusted her gut and she went with, she did not want to lose this. Regina raised a hand and gently cupped her check, catching Emma’s eye.

Regina gave the look that made Emma shiver and go weak in the knees every time. Thank god she was laying down. Regina straddled her and pulled her up fast, kissing her hard as if she was drowning. Maybe Regina was but Emma didn’t fucking care. All that she knew was that she had to get Regina back to their room. Emma had spoken her language and Regina had accepted her confession and she needed to speak hers.

Regina started to move against Emma and out of reflex she raised her leg to support it. Emma tried to stop the movement after a minute as she truly thought about their current position. She did not want her to stop it was just the fact that they were out in the open. She was a lady and should be treated as such. She needed to be treated with respect, compassion and…her train of though was caught off by Regina grabbing and pulling her ear into her mouth while gently caressing a covered breast. Emma moaned, then cleared her throat.

“Regina,” Emma whimpered out, unable to find her voice but Regina did not stop her actions. Emma growled as Regina’s wondering hands moved down, attempting to lift her shirt in search of skin. Emma grabbed her hands halting her movement. Regina looked at her with hooded eyes and she leaned into Emma and whispered into her ear, “Make love to Emma Swan.”

“Right her,” and Emma voice an octave higher and breathless. Regina glanced around at her surrounding and smirked, challenging her. Emma narrowed her eyes and nudged Regina to stand up, accepting the offered hand. Emma did not think about picking up her stuff and held onto the warm hand as it gently squeezed and pulled her toward their room. She may have loved her jacket but she loved Regina Mills more. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Emma’s shaking hands were unsuccessful as she tried to open the door. Regina placed a gently hand on Emma’s, stopping her movement and Regina saw the vulnerable eyes connect with her. She took the key and opened the door, gently pushing Emma through it before closing it. Regina walked further into the room and turned and stared at her hunched lover’s form right by the door. Emma did not turn around for a few minutes and Regina started to step forward out of concern. Her forming doubts were thrown out the window as Emma turned around. 

Emma slowly walked to her removing her none exist jacket, placing it on the back of a chair. Regina was amused by this and Emma frowned slightly. Regina pulled her to her stopping any questions that she knew that would follow. Emma cupped her face gently and slowly kissed her with just a brush of lips. Both women were now trembling, and Emma gently moved Regina back toward a chair, helping her sit down. 

She sat down between Regina’s legs on her knees, a hand on either thigh looking up meeting her eyes. She searched them before leaning forward to meet Regina’s lips and pulled back slightly, keeping eye contact. “Show me what you need my love?” Emma whispered. 

Regina leaned forward pulling Emma by her shirt and kissing her more frantically pulling their bodies flush. She broke the kiss and grabbed one of Emma’s hand pulling three of Emma’s fingers into her mouth, sucking each one lightly before releasing them. Emma looked her in the eye as Regina scooted down in the chair opening her leg further apart, unbuttoning her pants. Regina stopped Emma from moving her pants down and Emma smirked, sat up straighter to give herself more leverage before moving her hand down. Emma did love the challenge that was Regina Mills and she had learned how to speak her language very well.

**Author's Note:**

> The most precious thing we have in this world is time. I am truly humbled by anyone who takes their time to read this, thank you


End file.
